My husband has 100 ways of what to do with ham.
Jack Monroe #12 Eight thousand pages from her printer, this could take us through to winter.
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A blue tickers utopia:
- No product reviews allowed, in instances where they are remove stars 1 through 4, in the new world order no feedback welcome I don’t care if your topshop jeggings gave u thrush.
- Checkatrade in the bin, if the house hasn’t been blown up by your tradesperson it’s good enough don’t be a snitch babe x
- Whilst we’re at it scrap food hygiene ratings for restaurants - who the duck are you to tell me to wash my hands after marinading raw chicken u nosy cow
- Reply buttons on social media to be replaced with Apple Pay buttons, we only want your impressions, likes, or direct payment. The latter is preferred obvs.
- Competition shows to be barred - Mary Berry’s reign of terror is OVER never again may she bully and harass someone for their subpar pie or their flopped technical challenge. Middle England sleeps sounder tonight.
- Gogglebox cast to be taken out back and dealt with, they’ve said too much.
We all have to get our kicks somehow. Walked my mum's portion up the street wearing a pair of oven gloves. She didn't even want to chat - it was 'ooh, that smells good', bye! *patio door shuts in my face*
Sis eating worms
you alright hun x In all seriousness tho what do they taste like? What was the motivation?
Maybe she was watching catch up of DK?
Like grated corn beef chili.
Ha ha, probably one of her beloved Austen adaptations. She's 80, her hearing is going, I have to ring a bell to get her attention.
There is a sweet dear down the road who is really hard of hearing. Her lounge has patio doors leading to the garden. If we need to drop something off it's one of us poundingon the patio door doing a weird dance of sorts to get her attention.
Tell us again about that crappy bungalow, Jack.
Also, sorry about the festivals. The pandemic is rough on us all.
I'm not even going to ask about the garlic.
Also, sorry about the festivals. The pandemic is rough on us all.
I'm not even going to ask about the garlic.
Ah yeah, that's my mum. It's like rousing one of the cast of Downton Abbey from their slumbers.
Size of that. bleeping ungrateful shitebag.
Poor Louisa being slagged off in that horrid passive aggressive way AGAIN. Don’t know her from a bar of soap but have not witnessed anything that indicates she deserves this.
I also confess I am currently suffering severe garden envy
I love this too, when you know new people are here and catching up on the truth. Join us!
Seems like she's managing, against all odds, to enjoy it after all. But it's still not fair because she can't buy it!
bleep.
I have just seen her show is on Netflix now for anyone who has it, cannot wait to watch!
In lieu of an explanation we will all just imagine the worst
Ah yes, a garden which fits two tents, an outhouse, a table seating six, a patio set, a barbeque, and a hanging rattan chair, along with plenty of mature shrubbery: the very epitome of deprivation.
People who doubtless contribute to her comfort by buying her books and donating to her may well be in studio flats, overcrowded homes, living with abusers. She's a vile, vile human playing at poverty.
Also 1) Elbow are bleeping bland and
2) stop being a cow about your fiancée getting pissed off with your manic episodes.
I laughed/gasped at that. There is something abhorrent about her endlessly pleading poverty when it's clear that, materially, she has a pretty good life. In terms of being utterly tone-deaf, this is up there with her boast about having 3 mental health professionals on speed dial.
Thought she only knew how to microwave garlic?
Why does it have to be, when I came to view this place to rent, not just when I came to view this place? Does she think if she puts emphasis on the fact she is a renter people will offer to chip in to help her buy?
Also didn't she just say the other week that she's literally never spent any time in the garden and had no idea that it had wisteria or something to that effect and yet now the garden was the entire reason she signed the paperwork? Ffs once again she can't keep up with her very weird lies
Addendum to no 1) sharing your taste in music with your neighbours is everso antisocial.
Though I live in a little semi-detached house in a row of the same and all our gardens are long and narrow and backed onto by other gardens, and there's something about the acoustics, I think it's sort of a little basin, that makes sound travel far and wide, so I am v aware that I am probs sharing my music tastes (excellent though they are) with about 25 gardens.
Exactly this!
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