Jack Monroe #12 Eight thousand pages from her printer, this could take us through to winter.

[emm]

Tell us again about that crappy bungalow, Jack.
Also, sorry about the festivals. The pandemic is rough on us all.
I'm not even going to ask about the garlic.

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Ah yeah, that's my mum. It's like rousing one of the cast of Downton Abbey from their slumbers.

Yeh that’s def the garden of a “shirt bungalow”

Seems like she's managing, against all odds, to enjoy it after all. But it's still not fair because she can't buy it!

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I assume the fire safety talk was based around that fire hazard shed kitchen

 

[Jelly Bean]

Oh no - people playing music in their gardens gives me absolute rage. So bloody selfish.

 

[PennyLoafer]

If you are into veggie food, I'd recommend salad samurai. It's slightly annoying in how it's written but the recipes are fab and very adaptable. All salads, organised by season. Most recipes are very hearty and easily a main course.

It does, however, include a recipe for over oats. Sorry.

Thanks so much, @Harrybosch! I'll add that to my buy list X

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

That garden is gorgeous (although I’d trim those bushes back a bit, I bleeping hate a bush though). This is like when you’re in school and you go to your mate’s house for the first time and realise they’re minted.

 

[PoorPatrol]

That garden is gorgeous (although I’d trim those bushes back a bit, I bleeping hate a bush though). This is like when you’re in school and you go to your mate’s house for the first time and realise they’re minted.

Ffs not more bush talk! The judge will have to get the cymbals back out again for this extra innuendo.

yes to the mate’s house! You’d get there and think ‘ah ok, thought you were normal, but you’ve got a spare room and a fish tank’!

 

[PennyLoafer]

Ah yes, a garden which fits two tents, an outhouse, a table seating six, a patio set, a barbeque, and a hanging rattan chair, along with plenty of mature shrubbery: the very epitome of deprivation.

People who doubtless contribute to her comfort by buying her books and donating to her may well be in studio flats, overcrowded homes, living with abusers. She's a vile, vile human playing at poverty.

Also 1) Elbow are bleeping bland and
2) stop being a cow about your fiancée getting pissed off with your manic episodes.

She's probably going to launch some sky lanterns later, to the accompaniment of 'One Day Like This'. She's that basic.
Sorry, that was bitchy, but this time she's really got to me. If you are the poster woman for austerity cooking and fighting inequality in all its forms - and you are determined at every turn to stress your credentials for doing so, not to mention your own personal hardships - why the living duck would you tweet about turning your garden into Bestival when you could be quietly doing some good for the disenfranchised people you profess to care about? Not saying you have to be on duty 24-7 but with your platform, you could send so many powerful statements about how to cope during lockdown and how to care for each other through food.
My god, the people on my street are doing better than this. Shopping and cooking for each other, sending cards and checking in with each other. We're not whining about festival cancellations. This is serious tit - the livelihoods of just about everyone I know are affected - and we have no idea when things will go back to normal.

 

[poppycat]

bleep.

No more needs to be said you have summed up the situation perfectly.

 

[slugella]

This is food for thought. I agree that if any gossip forum/mag/tabloid was replicated in a school or workplace it would be recognised as bullying. So what makes it different? To me it's the anonymity. JM doesn't have to sit in front of us in double maths. If she hadn't googled her own name she wouldn't know we were here.

Also: admonishes people for being mean on the internet.
Calls those people 'nasty witches' on the internet.
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All these people piping up about tattle on Twitter seem to be so convinced they know our motives for posting here, usually that we are sad, bitter, jealous, need to make ourselves feel better, miserable etc etc.

It's all so desperate. There's over a million posts here. Anyone can sign up and say anything, and often infuencers do just to try and discredit here. You wouldn't pick a few random tweets to discredit the whole of twitter

1000% this. Some of the threads on tattle I think go a bit far, So I just don't post in them if I'm not comfortable. Likewise some of the stuff on Twitter is appalling (much worse than anything ive ever seen on any thread here) yet I don't see these influencers who use it feeling like that makes them guilty..

 

[Pocahontas]

Ffs not more bush talk! The judge will have to get the cymbals back out again for this extra innuendo.

yes to the mate’s house! You’d get there and think ‘ah ok, thought you were normal, but you’ve got a spare room and a fish tank’!

Yeah and more than one tv ... and an actual dining room. ‘What the duck - you don’t eat on the sofa?!’

 

[OhhBacon]

Thank you to who ever posted about Nadiya’s chicken on her insta. I wasn’t following her so went and had a look, am now a follower and those chicken recipes are all complete winners!
It is such a helpful post, one chicken, loads of meals that all look delicious and easy to cook.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

I love how she’s listing the things they’ve done as though she’s the wise old elf teaching him extensive and invaluable life lessons. You’re camping in the garden love just say you’re camping in the garden. My eldest did the scouts camp at home challenge this year but I didn’t act like I was yoda I just helped him make his camp and cook the dinner

 

[SoulRebel]

She's probably going to launch some sky lanterns later, to the accompaniment of 'One Day Like This'. She's that basic.
Sorry, that was bitchy, but this time she's really got to me. If you are the poster woman for austerity cooking and fighting inequality in all its forms- and you are determined at every turn to stress your credentials for doing so, not to mention your own personal hardships - why the living duck would you tweet about turning your garden into Bestival when you could be quietly doing some good for the disenfranchised people you profess to care about? Not saying you have to be on duty 24-7 but with your platform, you could send so many powerful statements about how to cope during lockdown and how to care for each other through food.
My god, the people on my street are doing better than this. Shopping and cooking for each other, sending cards and checking in with each other.

Quite. I keep watching this thread but am struggling with my right hand in a cast and a massive feral cat infection going on right now but I have co-codamol and antibiotics so viewing from a happy haze. (I quite liked The Seldom Seen Kid btw).
Marian Keyes was on Radio 4 this morning and spoke very eloquently about her previous mental health and addiction problems and something she said struck a chord - something along the lines of that having a mental health problem doesn't mean that you are just feeling sorry for yourself. I think that Jack's problem is that she only thinks about herself. No one else. Not her son. Not her family. Not her partner. Not the poor saps who buy into her on-line presence. Not the people she guilts into funding her crappy books.
Rant over and I'm about to pour a Spanish measure of gin

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Yeah and more than one tv ... and an actual dining room. ‘What the duck - you don’t eat on the sofa?!’

I don’t mean to brag but I once went to a house where they had a PLAYROOM and a karaoke machine. They had a TV in it too and had videos of the Simpsons, her mum made us popcorn with those machines (that you can now buy in Argos for like £20 lol) and I was bleeping amazed. Needless to say she was never invited over to hang out in my bedroom I shared with my 2 sisters

 

[poppycat]

Just had a quick glance at her twitter, latest photo is of a female portable urinal (fair enough, she's having a festival in her back garden) but I spot the cat in the background and don't think I can resist making comments about it so shall sign off for the evening

 

[Ellabella]

Nadiya has a fab recipe which is sesame chicken toast, well worth a go.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Thank you to who ever posted about Nadiya’s chicken on her insta. I wasn’t following her so went and had a look, am now a follower and those chicken recipes are all complete winners!
It is such a helpful post, one chicken, loads of meals that all look delicious and easy to cook.

That was my bleeping idea. Nadiya stole my intellectual property!! Going to look though, I like her!

 

[Pocahontas]

I don’t mean to brag but I once went to a house where they had a PLAYROOM and a karaoke machine. They had a TV in it too and had videos of the Simpsons, her mum made us popcorn with those machines (that you can now buy in Argos for like £20 lol) and I was bleeping amazed. Needless to say she was never invited over to hang out in my bedroom I shared with my 2 sisters

Sweet Jesus! A karaoke machine.
I am imagining the cool mum in Mean Girls and her snacks

 

[SoulRebel]

All these people piping up about tattle on Twitter seem to be so convinced they know our motives for posting here, usually that we are sad, bitter, jealous, need to make ourselves feel better, miserable etc etc.



1000% this. Some of the threads on tattle I think go a bit far, So I just don't post in them if I'm not comfortable. Likewise some of the stuff on Twitter is appalling (much worse than anything ive ever seen on any thread here) yet I don't see these influencers who use it feeling like that makes them guilty..

I was wondering about this...I saw someone calling Meghan Markle's mother a carpet muncher when I was new to Tattle and scrolled on past but I wish I hadn't now.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I don’t mean to brag but I once went to a house where they had a PLAYROOM and a karaoke machine. They had a TV in it too and had videos of the Simpsons, her mum made us popcorn with those machines (that you can now buy in Argos for like £20 lol) and I was bleeping amazed. Needless to say she was never invited over to hang out in my bedroom I shared with my 2 sisters

I stayed at someones house who had an indoor swimming pool. I was from a council estate flat, I played at being rich that evening. It was in southend, but you cant win them all.

 

[Bellybutton lint]

Seems like she's managing, against all odds, to enjoy it after all. But it's still not fair because she can't buy it!

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Call me a meany but she doesn't deserve a place like that.