Jack Monroe #119 She says lots of things, many of which are false

[Sideboard Bob]

Well, if she genuinely is ill, I hope she feels better soon, and her family are all ok.

And @TurnedUpInTipp , I hope YOU feel better soon! Pie Jesu just being in the kitchen with that gravy(?) must be bad enough! Truly above and beyond!

As for The Sloppies, I’ll be tuning in to the live broadcast on one of my 6 radios, dressed head to toe in Nicole Farhi... or maybe just go for the “cheeky little duo“ of pyjamas and prosecco!

 

[Lanie]

I’ve skipped 20 pages, has anyone made the gravy?

Don't you mean strained bin juice?

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Didn’t she tweet that she was under a weighted blanket yesterday and today she’s so hot she’s naked with all windows open?!

Sure Jan gif.

It’s all a lie, I would bet my life on it. And I can see how people are sucked in even on here because we are conditioned to believe people when they are poorly and take it at face value - however Jack isn’t a normal person. She’s a narcissistic attention seeker who just looks for the next social media high she can get. What can get better for her after a day of likes for her recipes? Ah yes, the martyr role, gravely ill and soldiering on for her squiggles to get recipes out. She’s like an addict, where you are constantly chasing a bigger and bigger hit and high, and this right now with a fake illness is the only way she can get it.

Ps. Hi Jack! Post your test result and when you had it and I’ll believe you! As I don’t for a second believe you caught it on Monday, as you didn’t isolate till Tuesday because of your son. Which means you must have had a test late Tuesday/Wednesday so Thursday is in the realms of possibility but unlikely for test results - and the symptoms being so dramatic just doesn’t add up.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[colouredlines]

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Exhibit A: "I've not moved from my duvet since (last night)"

Exhibit B: "windows open, heating off, starkers..."

 

[ThriftStoreLeCreuset]

Ah, Mel Donte, so long ago now and she's just done so much with them. They are clearly loving having Jack as brand sponsor.

Someone needs to be called Mel Donte. Hey you lurking and considering joining, this is your sign and user name.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Smeghead]

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Oh my she’s delirious. She’s speaking in foreign tongues. She thinks she’s back in her little five bed detached house again. It’s worse than we thought. As if you Tweet all this when you’re feeling so illwith a temperature out of the stratosphere!!!

 

[Squandaaaaa]

Only veggie rather than vegan but I will marry/shag/worship/whatever they want the person who comes up a decent faux prawn cocktail. There's not really much other meat I miss but that does cause me to have impure thoughts.

Chinese wholesaler style shops do pretty good prawns!

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Montrachet]

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I don't think she has long guys. Would anyone like to say their goodbyes?

 

[Smeghead]

I don't think she has long guys. Would anyone like to say their goodbyes?

Should we all send positive thoughts at a specified time? Maybe....whispers...should we do a Tattle whip round, get her something to cheer herself up?

 

[cheapwetham]

When clearing away after dinner, I can frequently be found drinking the gravy out of the jug* (if any remains after dinner) like complete greedy goblin.

god I love gravy.
* actual gravy boat only used on Xmas and if we have guests. Otherwise it’s a Pyrex jug.

I'm coming from the recent past but just wanted to tell you that you are my gravy soulmate I do this and get severely judged by Mr CWH

I don't drink tea or coffee but I'd happily have a mug of gravy or bisto if I MUST be civilised

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Smeghead]

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You’re tweeting about it

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I don't think she has long guys. Would anyone like to say their goodbyes?

was going to say why is she tweeting like she’s on her death bed with her life flashing before her eyes?! She’s hopefully going to be absolutely fine!

 

[BobRob]

I had a temperature of over 39 once and felt completely out of it. Shaky, weak and couldn’t think straight. Tweeting wasn’t my priority.

 

[Montrachet]

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Jack Monroe #120 - I'm dteaming of a White Christmas .....

 

[LavaFlake]

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When I had swine flu the last thing on my mind was stodgy meals. It was a hellish week mainly drifting in and out of consciousness and mustering up the energy to drink water or flat lucozade. Certainly no buttery mash. Twitter did exist then but I wouldve been unable to access it on my slidy LG phone. But if I could, I certainly wouldn't have been.

Edit: just realised Jack said smash, not mash. Because she's WORKING CLASS OK.

 

[Smeghead]

Only Jack could be Tweeting this much guff when so ill. Honestly, you’ve got to laugh.