Jack Monroe #114 i, slopbot

[Switchstreetz]

@Switchstreetz The Sloppies <insert David Rose obsessed with this gif>

INCREDIBLE! I feel humble to be in the company of such creative, talented, funny human beings (no puppy hybrids here!)!

Also Jack, go the fuck to sleep. You’re up early tomorrow!

Honestly youre all so funny, i went back to some old edinburgh & black eye threads as part of making the quiz and it felt so nostalgic

Jack makes the chaos but you wonderful lot are the ones who turn it into comedy instead of being frustrating

Just found out about the scotsman article and im over the moon but also oops (whoopsyboo? ) on dropping the sloppies the same day - we're gonna get double the chaos now. My bad

I imagine a new ring bound folder has been cracked open in the eaves of a shitty bungalow in Southend tonight

Such a great article! I like that it focused on the right things - grifting from those less well off - and didnt name names

 

[MancBee]

Whatever ailment or condition she has, she says "this is what it is like to have X, this is what it is like to have Y". She never acknowledges that people experience these things differently.

It is also suspicious that whenever she is describing her illnesses that she has ALL the symptoms, and they are always severe. Even down to a splinter for goodness sake. She just lists everything noted on WebMD relating to her condition.

It is tragic really.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Omg those trainers are a monstrosity, they make her look like Herman from the Munsters. Alan those gifs are super cursed. Not sure I'm going to sleep tonight. Mind you the thought of St Jack doing damage control like a muck spreader is also nauseating.

But you keep giving me ideas

 

[Jelly Bean]

'I work hard'

 

[Kays]

Hmmmm interesting. Any idea what she means by deactivate? Her twitter account? The story? Anyway, being this cryptic must be driving Jack up the wall...

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Laura deactivates her Twitter each weekend. Probably quite a good thing to do to get away from screens for a while.

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Watching the excrutiating deadpan, nasal Jack Monroe on Giovanna Fletcher’s ‘Happy Mum Happy Baby’ and felt impelled to point out that for 99% of parents having a child is NOT like having a dog that talks back. Or am I wrong, am I going crazy here?! Poor SB!

And also she bangs on about how her grammar school peers had lots of things like ponies and totally fails to mention that she too had thing - like ballet lessons. She also says that the didnt have holidays except caravans and the odd trip to NI; but didnt she tweet back in April (when she was being all Greek) about lemon trees and holidays in Cyprus?! She lies by ommission and she lies full stop.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Ugh!!! The charm offensive before the rattle of the jar and the accusations of bullying. Daylight Nobbery!!!

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

Spoiler: ADHD/Autism

I'm late diagnosed Autism and ADHD, and this behaviour really really boils my piss - I don't know a single other soul with with either ADHD or Autism who behaves in such a shameful manner

She's buckling up for a 'poor me with all my conditions' fight isn't she?

 

[Smeghead]

She’s such a little cheeky monkey, scampering around in the nude playing little jokes on her housemate and then hiding under her covers. What is she like!

 

[Silver Linings]

If you put her shoulders back on and cover up her collarbones she still looks facially filtered to fuck but less otherworldly.

 

[MooBelle]

It's Crohn's and Colitis Awareness week, they also use purple..

yup. This is why I got into 'it' I have Ulcerative colitis. I am beyond angry. How fucking dare she?
Pure evil.

With you there, 100%
I'm a disabled frau too, I had a SCI in 2012 & have spent the last 8 years struggling from no mobility, to electric wheelchair, to manual chair & now a stick (I use a chair when I need to because of nerve pain/damage & fatigue). I volunteer & run a sports club with adults/young people with physical disabilities, it's my reason for getting up in the morning. I fully support #iseepurple & this kind of bullshit absolutely boils my piss.
Frau

ETA. & I don't care if this does🔺️me

Big cuddles for you Dr Franken Furter xxxx
I am always thrilled to big up my fellow #purple fraus.
We spend our lives trying to justify how tired, clumsy and clunky we are. We are slowly gaining respect and acceptance.
And then fucking Jack Monroe makes us all look like freeloaders who need to pose in our pants and rob vulnerable people on the internet.
Apologies if I've upset anyone, but I am at the end of my tether. xxx

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

I apologise in advance to the canal if this was spotted in earlier threads which I’ve not grunked, but I took a receipt of the tip jar. I couldn’t find it on the current website, but found it on a similar up to date version of the website as shown.

Last time I was on her website it was in its previous style with blog posts etc and the tip jar was certainly prominent.

Here it seems to be called “tip 2”
Thought she wasn’t a chef?
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"Fund the research and creation of new recipes" I THOUGHT EVERYTHING SHE COOKED WAS PERFECT FIRST TIME AND NEEDED NO TWEAKS? Therefore she doesn't need to be funded for it. No further questions, m'lud. *shuffles papers*

 

[Alansbigplate]

I’ve just had a look at that account and they’ve only used it once, so not sure it’s really on its way to the lofty heights of iconic nickname status.

Also, @heretoreaditall2019 and @Alansbigplate definitely agree re it all being a bit shady.

My issue is that she’s someone who is supposedly naive probably older whose kids would be cross if they found out. However she’s not naive cos she’s switched on enough to read through the lines of the article and respond the same day by creating a whole new Twitter and tweet it to various publications. One of these things is not like the other

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

That was the best five minutes of my day reading everything in the Sloppies. To think most of it has happened over eight months! The picture for each award are what got me, you guys and the effort you go to is incredible. Thank you @Switchstreetz

As a poster above said though, how has she streaked with her arthritic joints. Could one of our frau’s with a similar ailment confirm whether or not this is something that would cause a lot of pain? As I imagine undressing to streak in the cold shitty bungalow and then the hassle of dressing and undressing and diving under covers would cause a lot of pain for not much gain.

In all honesty, it depends. For example, I’m having a flare up at the mo and when we went out for dinner to support our local, my hands immediately hurt like hell in the cold. In a good period, I’d be fine. In a flare there’d be no nudie leaping and bounding in the cold, period.

However.... as others have pointed out, YESTERDAY she was writing a treatise on how she was swathed in electric blankets, suffering from RA pain, coddling herself from the ouchy cold. TODAY she is blithely charging around in the nip in the same Siberian rooms.

Conclusion? One of these stories is confabulation, confusion and bollocks. That’s wor Jackie.

 

[BashmentLady]

Just went and had a ganders at all those accounts. Shouts Tattle to me. Far too much lifted from here, some of it is almost verbatim Sad really as this is how Jack will pull this place down.

Now not saying logic is one of Jack's strong points, and one is fond of a chaos, but I don't think she can bring here down. There is far too much accurate detail and logging of her inaccuracies for her to want to draw attention to here. Considering the Scotsman article, I think for the sake of her tip jar [rattle, rattle] and to maintain her poverty cosplay, here is very much what she doesn't want people to see.

Sidenote - i ended up here due to inaccuracies with another blogger and when I saw this thread I was at first like oh no, who could pick on her. A quick read and I was simultaneously jawdropped and raging that I had been taken in by her lies.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I facetuned my tea using the same filter as McJackie.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

I’ll take things that didn’t happen for 200 please

What an absolute weapon, could you imagine Nigella writing stuff like this? what does she think people will think of her upon reading this? She thinks ‘oh my dayssss isn’t Jack so funny, such high jinks streaking in on an important work meeting‘. Actually no, I can’t imagine anyone thinking positively about the pathetic attention seeking/possibly abusive behaviour.

Nigella's ex did something almost identical to demonstrate his contempt for his partner's career.

JM is behaving in a way that is more Charles Saatchi than Nigella.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Yeeees terminator squiggle! (I wouldn't hold your breath with Channel 4...)

 

[Tabitha D]

Recent twitter stats. She's had a decent fortnight but interestingly she started losing followers again in the last couple of days.

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Most of the extra followers will have been Marcus-related. They will no doubt peel away as they discover she splags out 100+ tweets a day of tedious spam.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

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It's the uprising of the squiggles

Oooh... ”Jack Monroe #115 - It's the uprising of the squiggles” for a thread title?