Jack Monroe #113 I beg your pardon, she’s got a hammock in her rented garden

[HarderFaster]

Please, in the name of sweet baby Christmas Jesus, tell me she didn’t get paid £7k to just gush over details we already know about MR whilst inserting her own faux origin story?

As sickening as it is that she could be paid so much for work which was evidently approached with so little care or humility, I believe it is almost certainly the case. Realistically, there’s no way that Jack’s ego would let her take a job that was essentially acting as an irrelevant aside to a proper campaigner without the promise of a good fee. Her wanking on about it being “one of the most important jobs of her career” blah blah spunking blah is clearly nonsense from her conspicuous absence from so many shots of the video. Evidently the dollar is what she’s judging the gravitas of the work by.

At least we can all keep our eyes peeled for the next astonishingly overpriced Cotswold purchase puddle find once she bothers to submit her invoice (March 31st, I bet).

 

[Boyo]

celebrations are sooooo faaaaancy!

roses ain't what they used to be. the box used to be twice the size, etc.

not that Jack knows, ofc, she was lucky to get a lump of coal

But surely she’s been forensically monitoring the changing sizes of each brand over the years? *
*delete as appropriate

 

[HotesTilaire]

But surely she’s been forensically monitoring the changing sizes of each brand over the years? *
*delete as appropriate

Well no, bro, she doesn’t eat sugar actually, if that’s ok with you?

 

[LavaFlake]

celebrations are sooooo faaaaancy!

roses ain't what they used to be. the box used to be twice the size, etc.

not that Jack knows, ofc, she was lucky to get a lump of coal

Guys as a bona fide child of the 70s, Jack wished she got a Stretch Armstrong. All she got was a lousy winter of discount.

Apologies for my bad references, love a child of the 90s xxx

 

[jenny2603]

I have just reread "Potatoes". I don't know why I do these things to myself, perhaps because I couldn't believe it the first time. Anyway I was goggling at this remarkable paragraph:

"I retreat into the basest of animal instincts when I am frightened, curling into a ball, howling, roaring, sobbing, clawing at the floor. That switch can flick from anything from a noise in the garden at night, to a missed bill payment starting a spiral of avoidance into red-topped letters, again. The fear never goes away. I understand now that it probably never will. Poverty has been proven to change the very makeup of a persons brain."

There is quite a bit of research into the effect on poverty on the brain, though this relates mainly to children and people in long term poverty. I am no expert in the field but extensive googling hasn't turned up anything on the effects of poverty on the middle class brain that has to claim benefits for a few months. It strikes me as somewhat distasteful to say the least to steal the experiences of people who have been put at real and lasting disadvantage due to poverty in early childhood. Actually it's downright offensive.

Bear in mind "Potatoes" is intended to be addressed to Annunziata Rees-Mogg. A good article could have been written citing the effect of poverty and bad diet on children, outlining the difficulty accessing fresh produce in some poorer areas and even just the difficulty of schlepping in from your badly paid job feeling like tit and reaching for the oven chips because you just don't have the energy to stand washing and peeling spuds. It's hard enough to get the harder right Tories to even accept that solving poverty requires anything more than the lazy sods getting up off their fat arses and working. It takes credible information to counter that because when push comes to shove they think everyone poor is at it. Instead we get some spoiled middle class hole who actually is bleeping at it claiming they're permanently brain damaged by a relatively short term benefit claim. If Annunziata Rees-Mogg has bothered her arse to read that ridiculous tantrum all it will have done is confirm every crappy stereotype about feckless whiners making exaggerated claims to try and squeeze more money out the government.

 

[Boogs]

Everything has to be about her.

Sis, if you’re howling in a ball on the floor when you hear a noise in the garden (hungry fox or brambly mice?) because of the memory of a short time on benefits many years before you started collecting rich older fiancé’s then I do think that you should indeed be worried about the make up of your brain.

 

[holliebollie]

We can expect some hilarious chocolate related puns in about 2 years’ time... she will probably still be making eye test jokes then too.
On this thread, ninnies hold a wide range of incomes and experiences but I don’t think any of us have curled into a ball, clawing the floor and screaming over a noise in the garden or a letter arriving.
This year has been the first in about 15 that I’ve had to rely solely on universal credit. I paid my bills, did the food shop, fed the children (all solids) and didn’t have a great deal left. The end. I’m now working again and will be better off.
The most I would say about this period when I look back in ten years’ time is: it was crap not having any spare money. Thankfully it wasn’t for long. That is IT.
Honestly, if she really has been disturbed this much by a few months on benefits (when she had people who could have helped too) then she really should call one of her three therapists. It’s just mind boggling.

 

[Switchstreetz]

Just catching up, saddened to see that Jack has not, in fact, gone viral yet.

I eagerly await her Ridley Slopp director's cut of the GQ video

Nominations for the sloppies have now closed. Will let you all know once quiz is online

Spoiler: finalised nominations

The Novak Nail award for most entertainingly bizarre lie (presented by Jay Cartwright, Inbetweeners*)
- The black eye
- lies about her diet, including such gems as being a Pescatarian bodybuilder/90% vegan/"i only shop ethically" and "i don't eat sugar"
-The lies about how she obtains her expensive goods. Includes the scarf in a muddy puddle, the extra free sofa, le creuset in a charity shop etc
- The valiant brambly mice
- The soft pink velvet curtains which turn you into a 12 year old boy
- Pretending some friends bought her £300 curtains (and presumably measured her bay window to do so).
- The £20 shop feeding 3 a week, including such lies as "my budget doesn't stretch to butter," the empty foil tins in freezer & the ever replenishing cupboards and fridge.
- The mystery doorstep soap delivery
- Pretending to lose her "SSRIs" in a skip
- Breaking 47 out of the 26 bones in her foot (maybe she's been hoarding extras)
- Not drinking tea or coffee apart from when she does every day
- Feeding the homeless with melamine cutlery, Edinburgh
- The life changing kombucha, never seen again after that first phenomenal batch
- Claiming she could stand on her toes for 9 minutes thanks to all the ballet she did
- Lies about upbringing such as implying she grew up on food stamps when we don't have them in uk, number of GCSEs etc
- Claiming she was offered seven figures for a film based on her life
- Lies that she turned down or risked any work for moral reasons, or that she is/was working with a huge brand or celeb, (such as Marcus, uk govt or Pret) but top secretly behind the scenes so can't disclose it
- Claiming to have been a stand in for Ruby rose
-Lying about being a firefighter and co-opting grenfell to centre herself (@Titsnake this was a hard one to categorise but have put here as infuriatingly she pulled it off with minimal backlash and chaos)
- Life saving Mediterranean arse (@PoorPatrol)

The Twitter Bully Award for pile on of the year (sponsored by Henry Hoover*)
- THAT MAN Jamie Oliver
- David Walliams
- Stacey Dooley
- Paul Hollywood
- Annunziata Rees-Mogg
- LNER trains

The Mission Inn Star award for worst slop (sponsored by the people who make airlines' vomit bags*)
- Mackerel weetabix in a raw egg with noodles
- The 'sword in the stone' lasagne
- Mussels...and pears
- The faecal 'tin bolognese' with garlic
- SBs THRICE RECYCLED beetroot water boiled pasta & a raw flour cheese sauce. Yummy.
- The afterbirth oats
- Sausagne & cheesy fish finger lasagne
- Butter sausage with atomised kale to season
- A mancbee assassination attempt disguised as tomato soup
- Horridge with bacon and banana
- Horse spunk béchamel
- Grated corned beef chilli
- Peach and chickpea curry (@PoorPatrol so glad you nominated this!)

The Full Moon award for best chaos (presented by Dr Ian Malcolm*)
- Thanks very matt much matt
- Celery, Edinburgh, "dishoom is not a chain" & accidental tongue photo upload
- The wigs
- Frau for a day, Jack joins tattle
- Thrifty shades of beige
- This morning Chicken lingreenie (chicken not included)
- The ouchy mouth saga and all pains oral, including lipstick healing and teething necklaces
- Peeky mink and their unmasking
- Comic kitchen & the identity masking cartoon filters
- GQ article ("how to centre yourself in an article supposed to be about someone else" by Jack Monroe with cameo by kickyball star) & video
- The For Sale sign from hell
- dusty Aunt Helen (DKL)
- The severed foot, finger splinter or any other non-oral physical injuries sustained right before she's due to have a public appearance

Most outrageous waste of money (sponsored by Apple*)
- The sentient mirror
- The smeg fridge
- The items of cotswolds furniture too numerous to count
- The dyson fan
- Edinburgh trip & sleeper train, last minute
- The lion bar deliveries
- The hammock
- Strawberry thief curtains
- However many pairs of airpods she has

The Eye of Sauron award for 'Best' TV/public performance: (presented by Jamie Oliver*)

- Daily Kitchen Live
- Hellman's
- GQ
- This Morning
- The housing conference
- Facebook lives

Most useless and/or actively detrimental advice (sponsored by Captain Obvious & the Southend fire department*)
- You can use a bag for putting things in.
- When cooking you can wash up as you go along.
- The only knife you will ever need is a bread knife
- Any herb will do
- Suggesting a non AF port & wine reduction as an alternative to someone trying to cut the alcohol out of dishes
- Mince has different fat percentages because "it just does"
- Microwave some phat cloves of garlic, its not safe but your house will smell amazing while it burns down
- recommended buying a print of a fictional "sponsorbot" instead of going to seek out a real sponsor

Best Selfie of the year (presented by Nev and Max & sponsored by facetune*)
- Setting a timer to take a photo of her taking a photo with her tongue
- Taking a photo pretending to be really excited with hands to face
- Somethings simmering...sideboard modelling shots
- Trying to look like a 10 year old boy
- Black eye
- Sexy time in bed with cat
- Taking 'writing process' photos instead of writing

Most Urgent Item on the To Do List (special guest presenter kachoochoo who also provided nominations and descriptions 1 to 4)

1. Vegan crackling. The people have been waiting over a year for this masterpiece

2. Sideboard photos. something has been simmering since June. could it be the chicken thigh bone stock?

3. Rooting out Amazon from her website - people like companies that pay their taxes. Jack could set an example by not using them for the small commissions from affiliate links

4. Thrifty shades of beige - the people need the high quality postcards of comforting and delicious recipes that they have paid for

5. £15 a week free school meals. Of course jack could do better at planning them than local govt, she just doesn't want to. She's BUSY tweeting about doggos, ok?

Best imaginary friend/enemy (presented by Michael Caine*)
-"Only good for burger flipping" teacher
-Old chief who likes girls in skirts at the fire station. Traazers? On a bird?!
-"White trash shouldn't breed" lady
-Train man who sat too close and got his shins kicked
-Old man who sidled up to her to say he loved her work
-Matt Tebbutt ( "cheeky duo, best mate" version, not the very real and very done with JM version)
- The shadowy cabal of bullying hausfrau ninnies (actually just people with receipts)

The Silver Poca Plate for honorary frau of the year (dedicated also to our planetary friend, who sadly can't attend to present, but is a lifelong honorary frau)
- Jack's sentient mirror
- Cooper
- Nibbles & Loppy
- Marcus Rashford
- Matt of the forearms Tebbutt
- Miguel Barclay
- The followers brave enough to speak out against/call out Jack when they disagreed with her.

*none of these sponsors/presenters are real. Viv, Marcus, Krish mate... if you're out there, donate just $15,000 a month to the fictional frauen patreon & we'll send you a postcard with a drawing of the presenters we wish we could have - and a recipe for chicken nuggets on the back

 

[jenny2603]

I'm so excited! I wish all the nominations could win.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

@HotesTilaire thank you for staring the thread! And high five to @Sentient mirror for the genius thread title! A curry and peach for you each!

Just catching up, saddened to see that Jack has not, in fact, gone viral yet.

I eagerly await her Ridley Slopp director's cut of the GQ video

Nominations for the sloppies have now closed. Will let you all know once quiz is online

Spoiler: finalised nominations

The Novak Nail award for most entertainingly bizarre lie (presented by Jay Cartwright, Inbetweeners*)
- The black eye
- lies about her diet, including such gems as being a Pescatarian bodybuilder/90% vegan/"i only shop ethically" and "i don't eat sugar"
-The lies about how she obtains her expensive goods. Includes the scarf in a muddy puddle, the extra free sofa, le creuset in a charity shop etc
- The valiant brambly mice
- The soft pink velvet curtains which turn you into a 12 year old boy
- Pretending some friends bought her £300 curtains (and presumably measured her bay window to do so).
- The £20 shop feeding 3 a week, including such lies as "my budget doesn't stretch to butter," the empty foil tins in freezer & the ever replenishing cupboards and fridge.
- The mystery doorstep soap delivery
- Pretending to lose her "SSRIs" in a skip
- Breaking 47 out of the 26 bones in her foot (maybe she's been hoarding extras)
- Not drinking tea or coffee apart from when she does every day
- Feeding the homeless with melamine cutlery, Edinburgh
- The life changing kombucha, never seen again after that first phenomenal batch
- Claiming she could stand on her toes for 9 minutes thanks to all the ballet she did
- Lies about upbringing such as implying she grew up on food stamps when we don't have them in uk, number of GCSEs etc
- Claiming she was offered seven figures for a film based on her life
- Lies that she turned down or risked any work for moral reasons, or that she is/was working with a huge brand or celeb, (such as Marcus, uk govt or Pret) but top secretly behind the scenes so can't disclose it
- Claiming to have been a stand in for Ruby rose
-Lying about being a firefighter and co-opting grenfell to centre herself (@Titsnake this was a hard one to categorise but have put here as infuriatingly she pulled it off with minimal backlash and chaos)
- Life saving Mediterranean arse (@PoorPatrol)

The Twitter Bully Award for pile on of the year (sponsored by Henry Hoover*)
- THAT MAN Jamie Oliver
- David Walliams
- Stacey Dooley
- Paul Hollywood
- Annunziata Rees-Mogg
- LNER trains

The Mission Inn Star award for worst slop (sponsored by the people who make airlines' vomit bags*)
- Mackerel weetabix in a raw egg with noodles
- The 'sword in the stone' lasagne
- Mussels...and pears
- The faecal 'tin bolognese' with garlic
- SBs THRICE RECYCLED beetroot water boiled pasta & a raw flour cheese sauce. Yummy.
- The afterbirth oats
- Sausagne & cheesy fish finger lasagne
- Butter sausage with atomised kale to season
- A mancbee assassination attempt disguised as tomato soup
- Horridge with bacon and banana
- Horse spunk béchamel
- Grated corned beef chilli
- Peach and chickpea curry (@PoorPatrol so glad you nominated this!)

The Full Moon award for best chaos (presented by Dr Ian Malcolm*)
- Thanks very matt much matt
- Celery, Edinburgh, "dishoom is not a chain" & accidental tongue photo upload
- The wigs
- Frau for a day, Jack joins tattle
- Thrifty shades of beige
- This morning Chicken lingreenie (chicken not included)
- The ouchy mouth saga and all pains oral, including lipstick healing and teething necklaces
- Peeky mink and their unmasking
- Comic kitchen & the identity masking cartoon filters
- GQ article ("how to centre yourself in an article supposed to be about someone else" by Jack Monroe with cameo by kickyball star) & video
- The For Sale sign from hell
- dusty Aunt Helen (DKL)
- The severed foot, finger splinter or any other non-oral physical injuries sustained right before she's due to have a public appearance

Most outrageous waste of money (sponsored by Apple*)
- The sentient mirror
- The smeg fridge
- The items of cotswolds furniture too numerous to count
- The dyson fan
- Edinburgh trip & sleeper train, last minute
- The lion bar deliveries
- The hammock
- Strawberry thief curtains
- However many pairs of airpods she has

The Eye of Sauron award for 'Best' TV/public performance: (presented by Jamie Oliver*)

- Daily Kitchen Live
- Hellman's
- GQ
- This Morning
- The housing conference
- Facebook lives

Most useless and/or actively detrimental advice (sponsored by Captain Obvious & the Southend fire department*)
- You can use a bag for putting things in.
- When cooking you can wash up as you go along.
- The only knife you will ever need is a bread knife
- Any herb will do
- Suggesting a non AF port & wine reduction as an alternative to someone trying to cut the alcohol out of dishes
- Mince has different fat percentages because "it just does"
- Microwave some phat cloves of garlic, its not safe but your house will smell amazing while it burns down
- recommended buying a print of a fictional "sponsorbot" instead of going to seek out a real sponsor

Best Selfie of the year (presented by Nev and Max & sponsored by facetune*)
- Setting a timer to take a photo of her taking a photo with her tongue
- Taking a photo pretending to be really excited with hands to face
- Somethings simmering...sideboard modelling shots
- Trying to look like a 10 year old boy
- Black eye
- Sexy time in bed with cat
- Taking 'writing process' photos instead of writing

Most Urgent Item on the To Do List (special guest presenter kachoochoo who also provided nominations and descriptions 1 to 4)

1. Vegan crackling. The people have been waiting over a year for this masterpiece

2. Sideboard photos. something has been simmering since June. could it be the chicken thigh bone stock?

3. Rooting out Amazon from her website - people like companies that pay their taxes. Jack could set an example by not using them for the small commissions from affiliate links

4. Thrifty shades of beige - the people need the high quality postcards of comforting and delicious recipes that they have paid for

5. £15 a week free school meals. Of course jack could do better at planning them than local govt, she just doesn't want to. She's BUSY tweeting about doggos, ok?

Best imaginary friend/enemy (presented by Michael Caine*)
-"Only good for burger flipping" teacher
-Old chief who likes girls in skirts at the fire station. Traazers? On a bird?!
-"White trash shouldn't breed" lady
-Train man who sat too close and got his shins kicked
-Old man who sidled up to her to say he loved her work
-Matt Tebbutt ( "cheeky duo, best mate" version, not the very real and very done with JM version)
- The shadowy cabal of bullying hausfrau ninnies (actually just people with receipts)

The Silver Poca Plate for honorary frau of the year (dedicated also to our planetary friend, who sadly can't attend to present, but is a lifelong honorary frau)
- Jack's sentient mirror
- Cooper
- Nibbles & Loppy
- Marcus Rashford
- Matt of the forearms Tebbutt
- Miguel Barclay
- The followers brave enough to speak out against/call out Jack when they disagreed with her.

*none of these sponsors/presenters are real. Viv, Marcus, Krish mate... if you're out there, donate just $15,000 a month to the fictional frauen patreon & we'll send you a postcard with a drawing of the presenters we wish we could have - and a recipe for chicken nuggets on the back

Bring on The Sloppies!!!!!! (said in the style of “let’s get readdddyyyy to ruuuummmble!!!”)

 

[Tabitha D]

Just catching up, saddened to see that Jack has not, in fact, gone viral yet.

I eagerly await her Ridley Slopp director's cut of the GQ video

Nominations for the sloppies have now closed. Will let you all know once quiz is online

Spoiler: finalised nominations

The Novak Nail award for most entertainingly bizarre lie (presented by Jay Cartwright, Inbetweeners*)
- The black eye
- lies about her diet, including such gems as being a Pescatarian bodybuilder/90% vegan/"i only shop ethically" and "i don't eat sugar"
-The lies about how she obtains her expensive goods. Includes the scarf in a muddy puddle, the extra free sofa, le creuset in a charity shop etc
- The valiant brambly mice
- The soft pink velvet curtains which turn you into a 12 year old boy
- Pretending some friends bought her £300 curtains (and presumably measured her bay window to do so).
- The £20 shop feeding 3 a week, including such lies as "my budget doesn't stretch to butter," the empty foil tins in freezer & the ever replenishing cupboards and fridge.
- The mystery doorstep soap delivery
- Pretending to lose her "SSRIs" in a skip
- Breaking 47 out of the 26 bones in her foot (maybe she's been hoarding extras)
- Not drinking tea or coffee apart from when she does every day
- Feeding the homeless with melamine cutlery, Edinburgh
- The life changing kombucha, never seen again after that first phenomenal batch
- Claiming she could stand on her toes for 9 minutes thanks to all the ballet she did
- Lies about upbringing such as implying she grew up on food stamps when we don't have them in uk, number of GCSEs etc
- Claiming she was offered seven figures for a film based on her life
- Lies that she turned down or risked any work for moral reasons, or that she is/was working with a huge brand or celeb, (such as Marcus, uk govt or Pret) but top secretly behind the scenes so can't disclose it
- Claiming to have been a stand in for Ruby rose
-Lying about being a firefighter and co-opting grenfell to centre herself (@Titsnake this was a hard one to categorise but have put here as infuriatingly she pulled it off with minimal backlash and chaos)
- Life saving Mediterranean arse (@PoorPatrol)

The Twitter Bully Award for pile on of the year (sponsored by Henry Hoover*)
- THAT MAN Jamie Oliver
- David Walliams
- Stacey Dooley
- Paul Hollywood
- Annunziata Rees-Mogg
- LNER trains

The Mission Inn Star award for worst slop (sponsored by the people who make airlines' vomit bags*)
- Mackerel weetabix in a raw egg with noodles
- The 'sword in the stone' lasagne
- Mussels...and pears
- The faecal 'tin bolognese' with garlic
- SBs THRICE RECYCLED beetroot water boiled pasta & a raw flour cheese sauce. Yummy.
- The afterbirth oats
- Sausagne & cheesy fish finger lasagne
- Butter sausage with atomised kale to season
- A mancbee assassination attempt disguised as tomato soup
- Horridge with bacon and banana
- Horse spunk béchamel
- Grated corned beef chilli
- Peach and chickpea curry (@PoorPatrol so glad you nominated this!)

The Full Moon award for best chaos (presented by Dr Ian Malcolm*)
- Thanks very matt much matt
- Celery, Edinburgh, "dishoom is not a chain" & accidental tongue photo upload
- The wigs
- Frau for a day, Jack joins tattle
- Thrifty shades of beige
- This morning Chicken lingreenie (chicken not included)
- The ouchy mouth saga and all pains oral, including lipstick healing and teething necklaces
- Peeky mink and their unmasking
- Comic kitchen & the identity masking cartoon filters
- GQ article ("how to centre yourself in an article supposed to be about someone else" by Jack Monroe with cameo by kickyball star) & video
- The For Sale sign from hell
- dusty Aunt Helen (DKL)
- The severed foot, finger splinter or any other non-oral physical injuries sustained right before she's due to have a public appearance

Most outrageous waste of money (sponsored by Apple*)
- The sentient mirror
- The smeg fridge
- The items of cotswolds furniture too numerous to count
- The dyson fan
- Edinburgh trip & sleeper train, last minute
- The lion bar deliveries
- The hammock
- Strawberry thief curtains
- However many pairs of airpods she has

The Eye of Sauron award for 'Best' TV/public performance: (presented by Jamie Oliver*)

- Daily Kitchen Live
- Hellman's
- GQ
- This Morning
- The housing conference
- Facebook lives

Most useless and/or actively detrimental advice (sponsored by Captain Obvious & the Southend fire department*)
- You can use a bag for putting things in.
- When cooking you can wash up as you go along.
- The only knife you will ever need is a bread knife
- Any herb will do
- Suggesting a non AF port & wine reduction as an alternative to someone trying to cut the alcohol out of dishes
- Mince has different fat percentages because "it just does"
- Microwave some phat cloves of garlic, its not safe but your house will smell amazing while it burns down
- recommended buying a print of a fictional "sponsorbot" instead of going to seek out a real sponsor

Best Selfie of the year (presented by Nev and Max & sponsored by facetune*)
- Setting a timer to take a photo of her taking a photo with her tongue
- Taking a photo pretending to be really excited with hands to face
- Somethings simmering...sideboard modelling shots
- Trying to look like a 10 year old boy
- Black eye
- Sexy time in bed with cat
- Taking 'writing process' photos instead of writing

Most Urgent Item on the To Do List (special guest presenter kachoochoo who also provided nominations and descriptions 1 to 4)

1. Vegan crackling. The people have been waiting over a year for this masterpiece

2. Sideboard photos. something has been simmering since June. could it be the chicken thigh bone stock?

3. Rooting out Amazon from her website - people like companies that pay their taxes. Jack could set an example by not using them for the small commissions from affiliate links

4. Thrifty shades of beige - the people need the high quality postcards of comforting and delicious recipes that they have paid for

5. £15 a week free school meals. Of course jack could do better at planning them than local govt, she just doesn't want to. She's BUSY tweeting about doggos, ok?

Best imaginary friend/enemy (presented by Michael Caine*)
-"Only good for burger flipping" teacher
-Old chief who likes girls in skirts at the fire station. Traazers? On a bird?!
-"White trash shouldn't breed" lady
-Train man who sat too close and got his shins kicked
-Old man who sidled up to her to say he loved her work
-Matt Tebbutt ( "cheeky duo, best mate" version, not the very real and very done with JM version)
- The shadowy cabal of bullying hausfrau ninnies (actually just people with receipts)

The Silver Poca Plate for honorary frau of the year (dedicated also to our planetary friend, who sadly can't attend to present, but is a lifelong honorary frau)
- Jack's sentient mirror
- Cooper
- Nibbles & Loppy
- Marcus Rashford
- Matt of the forearms Tebbutt
- Miguel Barclay
- The followers brave enough to speak out against/call out Jack when they disagreed with her.

*none of these sponsors/presenters are real. Viv, Marcus, Krish mate... if you're out there, donate just $15,000 a month to the fictional frauen patreon & we'll send you a postcard with a drawing of the presenters we wish we could have - and a recipe for chicken nuggets on the back

You have to hand it to Jack, she gives us a LOT to work with.

 

[Mel Donte]

There is quite a bit of research into the effect on poverty on the brain, though this relates mainly to children and people in long term poverty. I am no expert in the field but extensive googling hasn't turned up anything on the effects of poverty on the middle class brain that has to claim benefits for a few months. It strikes me as somewhat distasteful to say the least to steal the experiences of people who have been put at real and lasting disadvantage due to poverty in early childhood. Actually it's downright offensive.

She probably read about the lasting impact of the Dutch 1944-45 hunger winter and thought 'ah that's just like how sometimes I feel sad when I think about the year that I quit my job and couldn't afford a bottle of Penhaligon's'.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I’m hoping that the fee will be donated to the Trussel Trust or Fareshare...... as would be expected in times like these.

I’m hoping.

 

[Falkor]

GQ used to be about £2,000 per 1,000 words, but most magazines have slashed their freelancer budgets in recent years. It'll still have been a decent chunk though.

 

[Sentient mirror]

@HotesTilaire thank you for staring the thread! And high five to @Sentient mirror for the genius thread title! A curry and peach for you each!


Bring on The Sloppies!!!!!! (said in the style of “let’s get readdddyyyy to ruuuummmble!!!”)

Yeah cheers thanks a lot

 

[Captainmouse]

Thank you for starting us over. I couldn't work it out when I tried!

When my Grandfather was in a mood my Grandmother would say he had a 'crappy Liver'.
Maybe this is the reason for hers!

that squiggle has got her taped!
So she got roughly between 3900-5400 squid for the words plus whatever for the simpering cosplay. Butter in the fridge!

 

[colouredlines]

that squiggle has got her taped!
So she got roughly between 3900-5400 squid for the words plus whatever for the simpering cosplay. Butter in the fridge!

This new squiggle appears to be another account set up by someone who, at the very least, reads here regularly, and posts nothing but anti-JM tweets.

This is really not the way to convince Jackolytes. It feeds into her narrative of being hounded by trolls.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I can’t cross-post, but didn’t she mention something something about adding grapefruit yesterday?

Grapefruit juice is an absolute no-no for most drugs (particularly for those on statins) and therefore should be avoided at all costs in catering situations.

I would have assumed she would be avoiding it too, but....

 

[Walkdengirl]

I can’t cross-post, but didn’t she mention something something about adding grapefruit yesterday?

Grapefruit juice is an absolute no-no for most drugs (particularly for those on statins) and therefore should be avoided at all costs in catering situations.

I would have assumed she would be avoiding it too, but....

In addition it would be rank with tomato mayonnaise aka Marie Rose sause.

 

[discokebab]

I don't have Twitter and the replies to the threads I can access bored me too much to continue but did Eco-Squiggle Mk3 get a reply about prawn farming in Bangladesh?
Thankyou x

p.s The Sloppies is the thing I am most excited about this week even though I can finally go to the gym. High praise!