Jack Monroe #109 Jack Monroe’s network bandwidth is low

[Tabitha D]

I only looked it up a couple of days ago and it said “coming soon” (). Interesting that it’s gone. She’s obviously trying to pretend this “grifty shades of bollocks” idea never happened ...

Also, an afterthought - maybe Nigella took the wind out of Jack’s sails a bit by apparently including in her new book a chapter called “A loving defence of brown food”. Brown is not quite the same as beige (sounds a bit more appetising for a start), but it’s getting a bit up in Jack’s niche and we know she doesn’t like that .
Still, if you had to choose between paying £15 for Nigella’s new book, and £10 *per month* for some crappy postcards which will probably never arrive ...

 

[Scarletfever]

Just a reminder for anyone waiting on poverty book pre orders opening up!

 

[MancBee]

Just a reminder for anyone waiting on poverty book pre orders opening up!

View attachment 321735

She's been BUSY OK? That shredder didn't move itself you know. And she had to colour in the planner to confirm it was done.

 

[Tabitha D]

Just a reminder for anyone waiting on poverty book pre orders opening up!

View attachment 321735

I’m not a betting person but I’d be willing to bet this thing will never see the light of day. It’s not been mentioned for weeks now, and let’s not forget that, with less than a week to go before the submission deadline, she was still doing basic research (i.e. by her own admission, printing stuff out from Wikipedia ).

 

[ChickenPorridge]

She didn't even list its imminent publication in her list of very important jobs she's got in the pipeline!

 

[jenny2603]

This is the downside of her being so incredibly basic & obsessed with boring old brands. If she bought from small / indie businesses we’d have no bleeping idea, but when she’s wearing Nike and lounging on Cotswolds it’s pretty easy to triangulate it all.

Btw the coven having a creative laugh is the new candy man. If she had a shitfit over bingo numbers god knows what we’re due after haikus she might post the triangulation victims some slop

I still can't believe she lost her tit at bingo numbers, she really can't laugh at herself at all which is a pity because she's really missing out a cracking joke.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I very much am a betting person and it's 125/1 on the outside that the book has been written, and a zero chance outsider that those cards will ever get printed.

 

[Silver Linings]

I still think that she has embedded secret serial numbers in them in the hopes one of us will get one and put it on here. Chekhov’s gun.

 

[Oofadoofa]

Just a reminder for anyone waiting on poverty book pre orders opening up!

View attachment 321735

Oh duck off squiggle, didn't you see that she went to the post office this morning? With a Herculean effort like that she's good until at least after christmas, fucks sake. Cheeky bastard.

 

[Scarletfever]

Oh duck off squiggle, didn't you see that she went to the post office this morning? With a Herculean effort like that she's good until at least after christmas, fucks sake. Cheeky bastard.

That screenshot I posted is two months old - makes it even funnier IMO

 

[Mustard]

Did I squiggle right?

You can still see names.

 

[Nippybippy]

Tried to re-squiggle. Hopefully this is done correctly I deleted my other post

 

[schmetterling]

I thought I was a professional snarker but you Fraus have made me realise I am merely an aspirational amateur. These are the big leagues. You are all so bleeping funny and so FAST!

I must grunka. But this thread is consistently stupendous.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I am loving all the brave squiggles, go squiggles. Jack will still pop up and shout "square go" at every opportunity and try to divert with another personal tragedy chaos. "I've got a glass shard in my brain, an urban decay black eye foot, an ouchy hole in my brain the size of a 50p, covid in my ears and arthritis up my nose". She wants us all to go "aww the poor brave little pickle, now is not the time to ask about my patreon slopcards".

 

[PoorPatrol]

Tried to re-squiggle. Hopefully this is done correctly I deleted my other post

You’ve become a master of squiggling. Times like these, I wish I had Twitter. The squiggles are gaining enlightenment, it’s so beautiful

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

She is like an aggressive Jack in the box that has a vacuum attachment so she can hoover up attention and cash. Grasping gobby goblin.

 

[LadyScarlett]

Over in another corner of Twitter, @bluestockingmum has been tracking and reporting a serial poverty cosplayer and it's finally led to an arrest - 7 months and 6 scam accounts created by the same person.

Letchworth man arrested after £5,000 fraud investigation

A man from Letchworth has been arrested in connection with seven fraud offences.

www.thecomet.net

#justsayin

Detective Inspector Rob Burns, from the serious fraud and cyber unit, said: “We have seen a big rise in online fraud since the start of the pandemic but this is something a bit new. Online fraudsters can be very convincing and often employ a range of tactics to get people to part with their money. Exploiting people’s sympathy and desire to help is just one method used. You should never pay money to anyone unless you are sure they are legitimate. Many of those who are fooled by fraudsters cannot afford to lose the money and can suffer from serious hardship and emotional distress as a result.”


AAAAALLLLLL the tattlers
So many tattlers
And they keep all my receipts
Cos they see through my grift

Over in another corner of Twitter, @bluestockingmum has been tracking and reporting a serial poverty cosplayer and it's finally led to an arrest - 7 months and 6 scam accounts created by the same person.

Letchworth man arrested after £5,000 fraud investigation

A man from Letchworth has been arrested in connection with seven fraud offences.

www.thecomet.net

#justsayin

Detective Inspector Rob Burns, from the serious fraud and cyber unit, said: “We have seen a big rise in online fraud since the start of the pandemic but this is something a bit new. Online fraudsters can be very convincing and often employ a range of tactics to get people to part with their money. Exploiting people’s sympathy and desire to help is just one method used. You should never pay money to anyone unless you are sure they are legitimate. Many of those who are fooled by fraudsters cannot afford to lose the money and can suffer from serious hardship and emotional distress as a result.”


AAAAALLLLLL the tattlers
So many tattlers
And they keep all my receipts
Cos they see through my grift

Omg, erm, someone I know kicked off this investigation.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I am loving all the brave squiggles, go squiggles. Jack will still pop up and shout "square go" at every opportunity and try to divert with another personal tragedy chaos. "I've got a glass shard in my brain, an urban decay black eye foot, an ouchy hole in my brain the size of a 50p, covid in my ears and arthritis up my nose". She wants us all to go "aww the poor brave little pickle, now is not the time to ask about my patreon slopcards".

'Now is not the time to ask about my patreon slopcards' surely must be a contender for thread title.

 

[Blurp]

Omg, erm, someone I know kicked off this investigation.

Quick, send them a link to the evidence here!

 

[Alansbigplate]

Fuming was just having a listen to all killa no filla and kiri shouted out veganish apparently a recipe actually works in it put me right off my murderer