Jack Monroe #107 The writing’s on the wallpaper

[Jelly Bean]

Her latest recipe (three tin tender - eh??) comprises just three ingredients:

A tin of tomatoes...

A tin of stewing steak...

a CaN oF cOkE...

Sadly I read the recipe and would you believe it (yes) she recommends sieving the beef and rinsing all the gravy off it. Why? Just why?
That is where all the flavour would be......of course. The penny has dropped.

 

[Smeghead]

She has ginger curd in the cupboard? Fancy!

It was GIFTED!

 

[Scarletfever]

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If this was a genuine bumdial, why wouldn't you just delete it instead of replying to it?
And why did 62 numpties like the nonsense tweet? I still reckon it is code aimed at someone.

Or a cry for attention to see who actually checks her twitter.

 

[Silver Linings]

Is she going to tell us her Bond theory now?

 

[MancBee]

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I have three things to say about "Three Tin Tender"

1 Where can you buy a can of full sugar cola for 3p? ( I don't really need to know, it would be disgusting)

2 "Wash off the gravy from the meat." Why throw away 25% of the contents of the can? If you must get rid of the gravy, at least suggest saving it, heat it through, and eat with crusty bread. When you are on a budget gravy soaked bread is a real filler.

3 It is 94p (though I doubt that) but what do you serve it with, what about the potatoes, rice, or bread. Where is the veg? These are not accounted for, or costed, but would be necessary to make this into a proper meal.

 

[Smeghead]

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Is she going to tell us her Bond theory now?

Bond? we’ve been expecting you...
Bond cabal

 

[lilamay]

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Is she going to tell us her Bond theory now?

The other day she was raving about '007 being a woman! I must have misunderstood her secret theory.

 

[LavaFlake]

I have seen enough 'lefties' cancelled on Twitter to know it may one day happen to JM. She'll say something classist or ignorant, which will be amplified by a big 'woke' account. People will dig for receipts in droves and get directed here.

And if that doesn't happen then remember she is a deeply unhappy person. Her constant lies, pile ons, chip on shoulder about school, materialistic drive, indicate this to me. Her books sales are decreasing and when you compare her column inches and tv appearances to a year, or four years ago, it is considerably less.

 

[CottageWitch]

I'd just like to mention that I was so far behind on the last thread I thought I'd just read the last few pages instead...and then ended up going back through the whole thing anyway trying to find Nibbles and Loppy. I've now made myself incredibly behind on this thread too so, the story of my Tattle life continues (no one ask how the big Grunka is going, I'm still on thread 14 ffs)

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I have three things to say about "Three Tin Tender"

1 Where can you buy a can of full sugar cola for 3p?

2 "Wash off the gravy from the meat." Why throw away 25% of the contents of the can? If you must get rid of the gravy, at least suggest saving it, heat it through, and eat with crusty bread. When you are on a budget gravy soaked bread is a real filler.

3 It is 94p (though I doubt that) but what do you serve it with, what about the potatoes, rice, or bread. Where is the veg? These are not accounted for, or costed, but would be necessary to make this into a proper meal.

I love a ‘list’ post.

It shows that so many things she tweets/ writes about can only be picked apart by a detailed analysis.

 

[Geetbo]

Christ almighty.

Is there any foodstuff that she leaves unrinsed?

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

Christ almighty.

Is there any foodstuff that she leaves unrinsed?

Foodstuff- no. Nails - yes

 

[Nottonightbabe]

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Brown again .
Rinsed tinned beef, cheap coke and tomatoes boiled up in a pan. Sounds delightful.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

I have seen enough 'lefties' cancelled on Twitter to know it may one day happen to JM. She'll say something classist or ignorant, which will be amplified by a big 'woke' account. People will dig for receipts in droves and get directed here.

And if that doesn't happen then remember she is a deeply unhappy person. Her constant lies, pile ons, chip on shoulder about school, materialistic drive, indicate this to me. Her books sales are decreasing and when you compare her column inches and tv appearances to a year, or four years ago, it is considerably less.

'School'... I'm always amazed that no one from her school days has rocked up and dropped the dirt.
Which leads me to believe that she was SO quiet, mousey and utterly forgettable a complete year group doesn't remember her.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Last time I had a tin of steak I made 4 small pies (with bargain bin pastry) and froze 2. You can stretch the tinned steak out with some veg.
What you get... is a nice meal. Something she’s not interested in. Not wet and softy soft enough.

 

[crystaleyesd]

Jack's latest, err, 'meal' reminds me of my absolute fave TV cook and infomericalism queen CATHY MITCHELL. Her bestselling book (in the Amazon list for stoner meals) 'Ramen Joy' has a recipe for beef, ramen and cola . And we know how much Jack loves a pack of instant ramen. Free plagiarism for ya Jackie!




You can fall down a proper Youtube hole with Cathy - she also has a series of delightful sounding books called 'Dump Dinners' Mmm sounds...appetising.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Brown again .
Rinsed tinned beef, cheap coke and tomatoes boiled up in a pan. Sounds delightful.

What annoys me is that she could actually make a decent meal from a tin of stewed steak and it would probably be cheaper. Eg don't rinse the gravy, bulk it up with a bit more Bisto if you need to, put it in a baking dish and cover with some puff pastry. Instant steak pie! If you were feeling FANCY you could add some tinned carrots or whatever. But that sounds like something people might actually want to eat which isn't Jack's USP at all, as we know.
ETA Oh I'm too slow, @Lumpyspaceprincess has the same idea.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Brown again .
Rinsed tinned beef, cheap coke and tomatoes boiled up in a pan. Sounds delightful.

Bonkers isn't it? So take something relatively nourishing and hearty, rinse the flavour off it down the plughole, and replace it with a sweet artificial drink. Just why? Her insistence on adding daft ingredients is wilful.

 

[Lyricallie]

Hi all! I have been lurking for about 20 threads now, I originally visited after seeing a rerun of DKL and was like who is this woman, what is happening?! Why are there technical issues...

However it was the vegan sausage recipe that has pushed me over the edge to post. I imagine all her recipes follow a similar format but omg, she just starts chatting tit half way through the instruction. They weren't numbered. I kept expecting that to be the general chat you see at the start of recipes and if I scrolled down I would see the actual logical typed out recipe. I had too much faith clearly.

Just so many thoughts across all of this, it just crazy. I feel bad for MrLyrical I make him listen to all the recaps and even he has a genuine anger towards the phrase "ouchy mouth".

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Some Friday (grated corn) beef incoming... she’s kicking off at Sia on Twitter.