Jackinality is brilliant ! Do ‘Sexy Jack’
Yes, absolutely xDo you reckon you can make soap from eggs
I'd rather eat dick cheese"came away with...40p duck eggs" is so deceptive, she makes it found like she found an amazing reduced bargain, not...bought a box at full price.
Also, why does she use so much cream cheese? (I shan't call it soft cheese) It doesn't really taste of anything. I use it from time to time, but it's in half her dishes lately! Does she really need to add an extra layer of blandness?
This is so funnyWhy needs everything to be mandolined these days? Is the smallest violin broken?
Forever editing: BECAUSE I AM A FOREIGNER and I often mess up with spelling etc.
My toilet has a macerator behind it. What comes out of it no doubt looks similar to a Jack Monroe dhal.She's so busy trying to sound big and clever using the word macerated that she's not even spelt it correctlyShe's such a pretentious twunt isn't she
Blue Tickers don't like your Yellow Stickers.. Now fuck off!Cringe so bad for her, she's so desperate, always tagging blue tickers who never reply, they just "like" her tweet.
Little head pat for Jack. Now go away back to your egg and sprout monstrosity.
may I add SAD JACK hasn't left her bed for 72 hours, whilst simultaneously working a 21 hour day, doing the school run, and valiantly working behind the scenes for political prisioners. But what reward does she get for it?I ranked the most common Jack personalities from worst to best.
GRIFTER JACK: The worst Jack, bar none. TBH it's hard to say anything funny about a rich person conning the poor. Habitat: knee-deep in the Asda bargain bin.
VICTIM JACK: Life is hard when you're a non-binary autistic alcoholic ouchy-mouthed arthritic tattooed vegan lesbian single mother 2nd generation immigrant with ADHD currently lying halfway under a train. Habitat: on top of any passing bandwagon.
PILE-ON JACK: #BeKind, you cunts. Habitat: the reading room of the British Library, vandalising David Walliams books.
ACTIVIST JACK: Changing the world, one dinosaur nap at a time. Not as actively harmful as Pile-On Jack, but three times as smug. Habitat: an undisclosed location in Whitehall, surrounded by political prisoners.
MANIC JACK: She's a singer! She's a Scot! She's a Trekkie! She loves dogs, wacky sandwich shapes, advent calendars and James Bond. And somehow, despite having more intense passions than a Jilly Cooper hero, she is still boring as fuck. Habitat: on the piano at the Groucho.
SHIT COOK JACK: The most harmlessly amusing Jack (unless you are her dinner guest, in which case call 111). Her experimental anchovy and pomegranate salad with American cheese slice sauce will leave you feeling like someone's been stroking your wrist. Habitat: inside a blender, on a sideboard.
FLOUNCING OFF TWITTER JACK: Silent Jack is the best Jack. Habitat: on a sofa, napping like a dinosaur. Or should that be a mink?
Don't forget the bottled lemon juice and #POBPAbsolutely. With lard
This would be a brilliant thread title suggestion. Please repost it later dear heartthe slop thickens.
Best. Post. Ever.I ranked the most common Jack personalities from worst to best.
GRIFTER JACK: The worst Jack, bar none. TBH it's hard to say anything funny about a rich person conning the poor. Habitat: knee-deep in the Asda bargain bin.
VICTIM JACK: Life is hard when you're a non-binary autistic alcoholic ouchy-mouthed arthritic tattooed vegan lesbian single mother 2nd generation immigrant with ADHD currently lying halfway under a train. Habitat: on top of any passing bandwagon.
PILE-ON JACK: #BeKind, you cunts. Habitat: the reading room of the British Library, vandalising David Walliams books.
ACTIVIST JACK: Changing the world, one dinosaur nap at a time. Not as actively harmful as Pile-On Jack, but three times as smug. Habitat: an undisclosed location in Whitehall, surrounded by political prisoners.
MANIC JACK: She's a singer! She's a Scot! She's a Trekkie! She loves dogs, wacky sandwich shapes, advent calendars and James Bond. And somehow, despite having more intense passions than a Jilly Cooper hero, she is still boring as fuck. Habitat: on the piano at the Groucho.
SHIT COOK JACK: The most harmlessly amusing Jack (unless you are her dinner guest, in which case call 111). Her experimental anchovy and pomegranate salad with American cheese slice sauce will leave you feeling like someone's been stroking your wrist. Habitat: inside a blender, on a sideboard.
FLOUNCING OFF TWITTER JACK: Silent Jack is the best Jack. Habitat: on a sofa, napping like a dinosaur. Or should that be a mink?
Or a bacon and cheese( fancy one at that) omelette. Her kid would love it and with duck eggs she'd only need 2 to make one for him and her with some chips and bread and butter. Call it a beige tea if you will.with all them eggs, why doesn't she just make a good old fashioned tasty egg mayo sandwhich. With the hellmans gifted to her. Why all the fancy shmancy shit all the time.
omelette
Is it too early to have that as next thread title?I'd rather eat dick cheese
Early days (though perhaps not so early given the speed Jack can make these threads move), but my candidate for next #thread title.Blue Tickers don't like your Yellow Stickers.. Now fuck off!
Why thank you, I am having a bit of an uneggxpected fame day. But I would not hold my slop up too high at this stage.This would be a brilliant thread title suggestion. Please repost it later dear heart
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