Jack Monroe #102 Stop getting Bond wrong!

[Fitnessqueen]

If she is using herbs and spices from 7 years ago she has proved she is not a cook. There would not be any flavour left

When now husband moved in with me in 2012 he brought the contents of his kitchen cupboards. One day he cooked me a butternut squash and sage risotto. The sage was a little bit tasteless so we checked it - best before December 1998

 

[emmer_moans]

View attachment 305935View attachment 305936

It's only caused grief on here Jack because you are an attention seeker who told us about the cheese in the first place!!

 

[HarderFaster]

Or :
Which one of my neighbours is stalking me on twitter.

Funny how a woman so afraid for her safety is delighted to have a complete stranger leaving soap on her doorstep, isn’t it.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[instacharlie]

Hold on.......(again)

So Bubble Buddy can go off and buy whatever she wants.
Jack has to buy Bubble Buddy's meals out of her weekly shop.
Jack buys herself treats of duck eggs and mussels as she fancies them.
Jack buys followers treats of chocolate and crisps and pisses money on postage for them.
Her son gets one small gingerbread dinosaur that has a bite taken out of it??
Is there really nothing else for her son? No chocolate? No crisps? No curly wurlys? Not even a pack of bleeping maize snacks?

Forget about the soap on the doorstep, please someone leave something bloody decent on the doorstep for that boy

 

[Scotty1976]

"Killing me softly with his song, killing me softly, with his song, telling my whole life with his words, killing me softly"

His = Tattle

This one's for you Jack. Dedicated.
Shout out to Jack!

How about Pink "I've got Money now "

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I think the £20 shop Jack is by a million miles the one I hate the most. Nasty manipulative little narcissist.

And then to start the whole "I'm exhausted" routine for sympathy from her followers who end up feeling like they've done something wrong. Horrid.

Here's a tip Jack, if being called out is exhausting you so much - duck OFF THEN.

 

[FrumpyCat]

View attachment 305935View attachment 305936

And, now we have the 'people don't want me to have nice things' again. Have all the nice things you want, big grapes, tiger bread, out of season vegetables, expensive cheese from Wairose, No one gives a flying duck. Just stop the damaging cos play.

Even your dimmest followers are thinking why do you need to stick to a £20 budget when your fubble is so obviously loaded?

 

[moglits]

Mate I don’t know whether to nominate you for a pride of Britain award or a Victoria cross medal.

Just spat my wine out at that. Whichever one gets C-Vords giving me a hug would be reet

 

[Walkdengirl]

BUT SHE'S 90% VEGAN YOU SQUIGGLE what would she do with free eggs and butter?

Shove them in her greedy goblin mouth and eat with moany groany sighs of joy as they all slip down her throat

 

[Scarletfever]

View attachment 305971

View attachment 305972
Not even while you were sawing a for sale sign down, or scampering about in your skip?

What about when they saw her flat on the floor with her arse in the air?

Or was that a load of steaming horseshit?

 

[SoulRebel]

Shut the absolute duck up, you gaslighting piece of tit. Jesus bleeping Christ. This is unconscionable. Stop with your DARVO bullshit. Why the duck are you doing this? Why are you so determined to be this person? It's bleeping abhorrent to lie and lie and lie and lie (about the smallest of bleeping things) and then do this bleeping reversal of roles bullshit. You're being called out (incredibly mildly on Twitter, less mildly on here) because YOU ARE bleeping LYING. You aren't the victim. You are perpetrating a bleeping falsehood that has actual real life effects on other people. You aren't the saviour of anyone, you aren't the poster child for anything, you are making a fool of yourself. This is just bleeping embarrassing. Give it a bleeping rest.

(Sorry @Silver Linings, obvs not aimed at you. Also sorry everyone else, but this is such bleeping triggering tit that I can't deal with it.)

I feel much the same now, trying to laugh but Louisa must be on way over 300k a year.
Jack is just taking the piss and doing her ballet lessons on Twitter, little Miss Twinkle Toes dancing and twirling and rinsing the poors out of their money

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Butter. Obviously there was the miso butter thing the other day. But I seem to remember back in the mists of time (which is probably just a few weeks of Jack time) that she was constantly going on and on about butter and how much she loved it and how thickly she spread it on her soft soft softy soft bread. Or am I going mad?

You are not going mad.

Ss credit to @Silver Linings

 

[Cuileann]

View attachment 305983View attachment 305985

Fraus, I'm never going to catch up so I'm skipping today's mayhem, however...she totally bought these herself, didn't she?

Also, is there a squiggle demanding that people buy Jack eggs, or am I hallucinating at this point!?

 

[Harrybosch]

What the F*CK is the point of all this. Like wow, yeah, you can make your weekly shop come to £20 when you've only got to buy some fresh meat / veg / bread the occasional bag of rice ***BECAUSE YOU HAVE ALL THE OTHER STUFF ALREADY IN YOUR LARDER, 3 FRIDGES AND A FURTHER 3 FREEZERS!*** What's the revelation / skill / but most importantly, WHAT IS THE POINT?

Thankyou! This is exactly what's been in my head for weeks now.

 

[JoyceDivision]

Fraus, I'm never going to catch up so I'm skipping today's mayhem, however...she totally bought these herself, didn't she?

Yes absolutely x

 

[Cuileann]

Also, is she really using the exhausted excuse for her behaviour!? I think someone needs to buy her a dictionary, forget bleeping eggs. She clearly doesn't actually know what it means. She is not exhausted. SHE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING.

 

[Alansbigplate]

And, now we have the 'people don't want me to have nice things' again. Have all the nice things you want, big grapes, tiger bread, out of season vegetables, expensive cheese from Wairose, No one gives a flying duck. Just stop the damaging cos play.

Even your dimmest followers are thinking why do you need to stick to a £20 budget when your fubble is so obviously loaded?

 

[Pixieboots]

For the avoidance of doubt my gif to you was suggesting I cannot be arsed

ETA here’s one I did earlier tho

You've gone too far now, Alan, my beloved Bowie does not deserve this!

 

[HarderFaster]

Hold on.......(again)

So Bubble Buddy can go off and buy whatever she wants.
Jack has to buy Bubble Buddy's meals out of her weekly shop.
Jack buys herself treats of duck eggs and mussels as she fancies them.
Jack buys followers treats of chocolate and crisps and pisses money on postage for them.
Her son gets one small gingerbread dinosaur that has a bite taken out of it??
Is there really nothing else for her son? No chocolate? No crisps? No curly wurlys? Not even a pack of bleeping maize snacks?

Forget about the soap on the doorstep, please someone leave something bloody decent on the doorstep for that boy

While she is a terrible, self-serving person and this no doubt translates to her parenting, at least SB’s lovely dad works in Greggs and so no doubt brings home yumyums and other treats on the regular. He’s clearly not underfed so, given the calorie count of Jack’s recipes, we must assume his Dad and the secret Ocado deliveries feed him an ample amount.

The charity I mentioned earlier has been sending out art boxes over half term and the kids sent in thank you pictures which was adorable, but something I was really shocked by was like the developmental level on show in the drawings - 9 and 10 year olds drawing like toddlers, because schools are encouraged to forego arts for STEM and parents don’t have the time or inclination to do art and crafts. It was really heartbreaking to see, and I can’t help but think about Jack leaching money from stupid but well-intentioned people who could do SO MUCH in their communities but instead choose to give to her. Some of these children have such joyless little lives, while she’s mouthing off on Twitter that she can’t have nice things because she’s so very victimised.

I dislike her with a fury I didn’t really know I could muster.