Jack Monroe #102 Stop getting Bond wrong!

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Wait, I'm reading the recipe for headrush spaghetti and the instructions are so confusing. The sauce doesn't seem to be heated up, just mixed together. You just "add the cream and white chocolate" to the garlic and mushrooms. Are we just adding squares of chocolate? Are there chunks of chocolate in it? I'm guessing it was meant to be either melted or grated or something, but she doesn't actually tell you to do any of that.
I will follow the recipe to the letter..
Is it against Tattle rules for there to be an, "I followed a Jack Monroe Recipe" page on Twitter?
 
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I'll do the Headfuck Spaghetti.. It's just so, Well, bleeping hell!
Mate, I feel like someone responsible should stage an intervention at this point. However, I do reeeeeeaaaaaalllllllyyyy reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyy want to read your review of this horror. I mean, assuming you survive and that and we're not all #RIPTUIT #withtheanglesnow
 
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(sorry for the spam I’ve been avoiding black dog head tit by giffing)
This is everything
My first actual laugh out loud and it was a proper belly laugh. I can't stop watching and I can't even share it with anyone in real life. They just dont get it.
 
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I wonder if Jack laughs at the gifs when she sees them.

Alan, you have great talent. Not only for getting the right gif at the right time but for tirelessly framing our heroine in the best possible light. Dear heart, thankyou
 
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I refuse to believe the lobster story. There is no way she could cook one lobster, let alone two without them clamping themselves to her unruly labia or some such nonsense. Unless and until the recipe for Valentines Ouchy fan Lobster is published I call bull.
With the lobsters, all I can think about is 'Derek and Clive' (Peter Cook and Dudley Moore) doing a sketch on the worst job they ever had was picking the Lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's hole.
 
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