Jack Monroe #102 Stop getting Bond wrong!

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Do brenda’s bangers

Well, 'Brenda's Bangers' is a risky google..

 

[Veronicaaa]

I might go next. I have a copy of TCC and have made one recipe that was completely sub-par in all honesty. I'm not a great cook except for a few well practiced favourites like chilli or a spag bol but I am interested and I try. Looking through the book to see what I could attempt. This is the one I made before, note the fecking tale of woe. She's like the black & white 'before' part of a JML ad. View attachment 305022

hahaha, just imagining the 3 paragraph recipe intro her splinter will inspire!

 

[jenny2603]

I might go next. I have a copy of TCC and have made one recipe that was completely sub-par in all honesty. I'm not a great cook except for a few well practiced favourites like chilli or a spag bol but I am interested and I try. Looking through the book to see what I could attempt. This is the one I made before, note the fecking tale of woe. She's like the black & white 'before' part of a JML ad. View attachment 305022

Amazing! I am starting to become obsessed with all these Jaccidents. She can't go ten minutes without falling over.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Do any other Fraus watch Strictly? Just doing a grunka from the weekend and I don’t know if it’s too much @Alansbigplate but I’ve just done a double take as I thought Nicola was dancing with Jack in the Grease dance.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Amazing! I am starting to become obsessed with all these Jaccidents. She can't go ten minutes without falling over.

It's the way she immortalises each and every minor slapstick accident in the pages of her actual BOOKS! As if ANYONE CARES!

 

[Walkdengirl]

This is probably a stupid question as there’s a massive clue in the name how do you make slow cooker fajitas?

https://tasty.co/recipe/slow-cooker-chicken-fajitas I use ordinary tinned tomatoes and a few of those preserved chillis you get in jars, and fajita seasoning. I also made it with chicken thighs yesterday. They're not quite as nice as making them in the frying pan, but we were going out and I wanted something ready for when we got back.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Amazing! I am starting to become obsessed with all these Jaccidents. She can't go ten minutes without falling over.

(sorry for the spam I’ve been avoiding black dog head tit by giffing)

 

[Readingismyhobby]

View attachment 304810

She's slimmed down her neck and chin Zoom in and you'll see where she accidentally loses some colour in her shirt collar. This makes me so mad, she is ED-fishing shamelessly.
I may seem heartless, but I don’t care if she is eating enough or not. I do care about her lying again

She has also flattened her eye(?), so well done Jack.

ETA: something weird going on with the hair on the back of her neck too, to the point that her earring is distorted. She is so bad at this! (and everything else)

 

[HotesTilaire]

Amazing! I am starting to become obsessed with all these Jaccidents. She can't go ten minutes without falling over.

Can we have a Jaccident list? Separate to the list of (severe) medical conditions

 

[Walkdengirl]

No idea but remember sex work covers a lot of jobs and there are as many kinks as there are people, maybe all that greedy goblin facehole chat is really doing it for some 'specialist' niche interest group.

There's lots of talk about her 'sex work' on here if you do a search

 

[Scarletfever]

Sausagne is my absolute food HELL. It’s hella my food hell AF, as they say in Jack parlance. Throwing tins of tomatoes and raw sausages together with dry pasta is her worst food crime to date. I genuinely think it eclipses even the peach and chickpea curry.

Mine too. It genuinely makes me want to die.

 

[Boyo]

Nooooo! Don’t ruin Bob for me. That’s my go to happy place, where you can block out the horrors of the world and watch as he makes stuff appear just using coloured gunk.

 

[Blurp]

No idea but remember sex work covers a lot of jobs and there are as many kinks as there are people, maybe all that greedy goblin facehole chat is really doing it for some 'specialist' niche interest group.

Maybe some people get turned by boring, monotone recitals of every vapid thought that crosses an empty mind.

 

[Boyo]

Oh no Moms now cooking with banana skins and FAT cloves of garlic ...wtf!

We just caught the end of that and Mrs B looked at it disgusted and said “See, this is everything that’s wrong with the world”.

 

[jenny2603]

It's the way she immortalises each and every minor slapstick accident in the pages of her actual BOOKS! As if ANYONE CARES!

Normal cookbooks will have something nice connected to a recipe "...this is something my mum used to cook for us", "this is my version of a dish we had on holiday in Tuscany a few years ago". Whereas Jack is all "this reminds me of the time I tripped over a dead dog and fell headfirst into a sharps bin before climbing out and rolling under a train. I died three times and when I came round could only greedily neck liquidised beans over a hot stove. Which blew up".

 

[Captainmouse]

Every time I see a pair of those nana earrings hanging on for dear life I think this, she needs proper backs on them else they'll be looted by the Disney mice or end up embedded in a limb (call the plastic surgeon !)

Or more dangerously, in the slop! Mind you they would at least add texture

 

[kachoochoo]

Do any other Fraus watch Strictly? Just doing a grunka from the weekend and I don’t know if it’s too much @Alansbigplate but I’ve just done a double take as I thought Nicola was dancing with Jack in the Grease dance.

took me a minute there, but yeah, katya with the quiff was very much like Jack and quiff today!

OT and side note, I really want nicola to be better!

 

[JoyceDivision]

Normal cookbooks will have something nice connected to a recipe "...this is something my mum used to cook for us", "this is my version of a dish we had on holiday in Tuscany a few years ago". Whereas Jack is all "this reminds me of the time I tripped over a dead dog and fell headfirst into a sharps bin before climbing out and rolling under a train. I died three times and when I came round could only greedily neck liquidised beans over a hot stove. Which blew up".

It’s all very Jameela Jackil

 

[Boyo]

Then/now, truth/lies, who can say?

If the definition of work includes live tweeting the progress of a splinter in your finger, maybe a great shag is sex work?

Can you imagine...”Oh well, if the splinter is as big as you’re making out, I’ll give the hand relief a miss tonight. What? Oh, well thank you but it’s the snarly teeth, you see. I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable putting it in there. What about....huh?....what the?....unruly la....oh Christ, look here’s some cash but I’m off. Sorry.”

 

[Walkdengirl]

Fraus I have to tell what happened when I came in from work. I put the TV on, and oh my word, hellman's have got an ad I haven't seen before and it's about using their mayo to make other things, they even made a quiche with it!

But, oh no, not a sight of our limpy, scampering greedy goblin to be seen in the ad, and it all looked edible! Does Jack know, have they asked her permission?

Not an empty shed in sight, or any one potting up a spider plant let alone rearranging their trolley