Jack Monroe #100 Jack Monroe and The Jimmy Nail Experience - she’s still lying

[instacharlie]

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This recipe was originally written as an ode to *a* Mrs J, of course. Poor non-affluent Mrs J...Allegra and Louisa got come-to-bed pastas along with wine and Peggy Fitzgerald, she gets oats and water flung in a microwave View attachment 301229

She bought herself a Wedgewood cup and saucer with her first pay cheque from the Fire Service??
How typically working class!

 

[JoyceDivision]

She bought herself a Wedgewood cup and saucer with her first pay cheque from the Fire Service??
How typically working class!

That’s what I thought too...what 19 yo buys themselves Wedgewood??

 

[Cookiecookie]

She bought herself a Wedgewood cup and saucer with her first pay cheque from the Fire Service??
How typically working class!

Deeply middle aged/grandma too, given she was still in her teens. What teenager buys Wedgewood?!

 

[YenE]

She bought herself a Wedgewood cup and saucer with her first pay cheque from the Fire Service??
How typically working class!

I went on the piss after getting my first pay cheque

 

[Captainmouse]

]


This recipe was originally written as an ode to *a* Mrs J, of course. Poor non-affluent Mrs J...Allegra and Louisa got come-to-bed pastas along with wine and Peggy Fitzgerald, she gets oats and water flung in a microwave View attachment 301229

Jackbots operating reverse shrinkflatiron, In this version it’s 10p in today’s it 3p how does she do it? Stealing water maybe?

agree with whoever said porridge with water is just slop yuch

 

[emmer_moans]

That’s what I thought too...what 19 yo buys themselves Wedgewood??

Can’t say that was the first thing on my mind with my first pay check! I think food was top of my list

 

[YenE]

I make it with water! Soak it overnight and the texture is lovely and creamy.

Only two sentences to describe my technique...I'm no Jack, eh.

Same! It’s the only way to make porridge

 

[MaggyMay]

How is her porridge recipe 3p? she's also saying add stuff to it sugar etc. so that's not 3p

 

[JoyceDivision]

Jackbots operating reverse shrinkflatiron, In this version it’s 10p in today’s it 3p how does she do it? Stealing water maybe?

agree with whoever said porridge with water is just slop yuch

The one THEN includes sultanas. Fancy.

 

[LavaFlake]

Why did she prioritise selling her son's cuddley toys over a wedgewood cup?

 

[Veronicaaa]

This made me unutterably furious last night, posting it here because I see Jack's faved it, so it's on topic. Like Jack, there's nothing Vonny won't make about *her*. My dog has been a total mess for the last month or so, ever since the fireworks round my way started happening (and I'm not saying BAN FIREWORK NIGHT or anything but can we please have it for just one night or even one weekend so that I can plan for it? Or use the silent fireworks?). One of my neighbours' dogs died a couple of years ago after some teenagers let off fireworks in the middle of the day in a dogpark - the dog bolted and got run over. My dog has an extremely traumatic reaction to them so last night was not fun (they do seem louder this year and they were coming from all directions). But as you all say, I can plan ahead for that. What I *can't* plan for however is when I specifically take the dog out for his last walk at 2.30pm (which I did yesterday), hoping to avoid any fireworks induced drama, only to have them start going off at 3pm, leading to my dog dragging me off in a panic (amazed we managed to avoid getting run over) before eventually refusing to move from a specific spot where he felt safe (on an embankment under a tree). Some lovely passersby tried to help but nothing worked and after an hour or so I had to get my mum to come and pick us up and drive us home. ANWAY rant over except to say I am braced for more of the same this weekend because fireworks night isn't just one night, people with autism (Vonny isn't even autistic BTW) can plan ahead as you all say, and they KNOW and UNDERSTAND what is going one, whereas to dogs, cats, foxes etc it must be like being in a war zone with no idea they're not in any danger. Phew, had to get that off my chest!

 

[Tittykitty]

This has just popped up on Facebook, ‘it is called ping porridge because it can be made in a microwave, on the move,’ because we all carry a microwave in our roomy bags. Also I make porridge in the microwave every morning and I would say her timings are off, she also suggests using a little sugar if you want it sweeter, she is a culinary genius!!

 

[PoorPatrol]

Why did she prioritise selling her son's cuddley toys over a wedgewood cup?

“Yeah, sorry SB. Mummy had to sell your dinosaur, and your shoes, plus you’re eating a weetabix with water - but no way am I parting with this old lady tea cup” sitting there like Marie Antoinette while her kid begs for bread and jam.

Some might almost suggest that the stuff about the bread and jam was.... hmmm let me find the words..... misty-eyed rhetoric??

 

[Fitnessqueen]

As a mad cat lady I’m rooting for Cooper to come home. But the timers? One of my gingers went missing for three days a few years ago and it was all I could think about. I didn’t need timers and when I did sleep I had dreams that she had come home. Luckily she eventually turned up unharmed but a bit disorientated in my neighbour‘s garden.

 

[Eurgh]

I bet Cooper never left.

 

[blurstoftimes]

Deeply middle aged/grandma too, given she was still in her teens. What teenager buys Wedgewood?!

A very lame one. This is one of the few stories i can believe.

I really enjoyed all the fireworks last night! Was nice to feel like people were celebrating something despite the lockdown. Although i'm lucky that my cat doesn't give a tit. Her 'fireworks were more loud than usual' rant has very 'old man yells at cloud' vibes

 

[Nottonightbabe]

This made me unutterably furious last night, posting it here because I see Jack's faved it, so it's on topic. Like Jack, there's nothing Vonny won't make about *her*. My dog has been a total mess for the last month or so, ever since the fireworks round my way started happening (and I'm not saying BAN FIREWORK NIGHT or anything but can we please have it for just one night or even one weekend so that I can plan for it? Or use the silent fireworks?). One of my neighbours' dogs died a couple of years ago after some teenagers let off fireworks in the middle of the day in a dogpark - the dog bolted and got run over. My dog has an extremely traumatic reaction to them so last night was not fun (they do seem louder this year and they were coming from all directions). But as you all say, I can plan ahead for that. What I *can't* plan for however is when I specifically take the dog out for his last walk at 2.30pm (which I did yesterday), hoping to avoid any fireworks induced drama, only to have them start going off at 3pm, leading to my dog dragging me off in a panic (amazed we managed to avoid getting run over) before eventually refusing to move from a specific spot where he felt safe (on an embankment under a tree). Some lovely passersby tried to help but nothing worked and after an hour or so I had to get my mum to come and pick us up and drive us home. ANWAY rant over except to say I am braced for more of the same this weekend because fireworks night isn't just one night, people with autism (Vonny isn't even autistic BTW) can plan ahead as you all say, and they KNOW and UNDERSTAND what is going one, whereas to dogs, cats, foxes etc it must be like being in a war zone with no idea they're not in any danger. Phew, had to get that off my chest!

View attachment 301256

And autistic people aren't all the bloody same anyway. Every individual I've ever worked with who had autism really enjoyed fireworks, planned or otherwise. She's kinda lumping them all in together there

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

For anyone else curious what a wedgewood teacup looks like, wtf are these!!

We’re roughly the same age and my pay went on rent, pizza and topshop...

 

[Veronicaaa]

And autistic people aren't all the bloody same anyway. Every individual I've ever worked with who had autism really enjoyed fireworks, planned or otherwise. She's kinda lumping them all in together there

Like Jack she seems to have made herself a spokesperson for autism ever since she recently, uh, ~discovered~ it as one of her many possible diagnoses (she's claimed to have all sorts including teenage ME which she managed to somehow grow out of).

 

[Minky McMoneypenny]

Babe, same. I had a glass of red and a packet of sparklers last night and it was lovely.

For these ingredients, I'd highly recommend scraping the chemical stuff off the sparklers, marinating the wire in the red wine. Simmering it all in a slow cooker for 6 hours until unctuous and glossy, and then garnish with a flourish of the crunchy chemical scrapings for texture. A fistful of herbs is optional, but definitely no fat garlic in this one, it fights against the magnesium tetradihydroxysulphate tang. #MinkyMcMoneypennysLockdownLarder