Jack Monroe #100 Jack Monroe and The Jimmy Nail Experience - she’s still lying

[LennyBriscoe]

That sounds nice (Soup n bread). I had a Pepperami, a packet of Popchips, a packet of Smarties and a bottle of Irn Bru. I wonder what Letdown Larder2 would recommend I make with those ingredients. A curry?

Saw this and thought of you Dino

 

[Alansbigplate]

You have a stronger stomach than I have, I couldn't bear to look that closely. Not only is it a mess, the cutlery doesn't look clean. I just needs 15 minutes to wash everything, buy a drawer organiser and job done. She can't even be bothered to spend 15 minutes sorting out a drawer. She is a slattern.

Right who triggered MancBee

 

[blurstoftimes]

View attachment 301746

it's three tweets Jack. Don't put too much pressure on yourself you'll have another burnout!

 

[MancBee]

Absolute demonic energy coming from those tweets.

I would not be happy to be tweeted about in this way at all if I was bubble buddy.

Why does Louisa have to be in a bubble with Jack? I thought the idea was for someone who is vulnerable and lives alone to have support. Surely if Jack is in the vulnerable group, as she has insisted, then having someone in your home that travels to and from London is really not a good idea.

I don't know why I am putting this here, we have all seen her list of covid support groups that she thinks are legal. She can meet with whomever she wants and make excuses as to why it is OK. Louisa is just an enabler.

 

[Veronicaaa]

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Parp!

Thread title - JM #101 The Bubble bursts.View attachment 301902

Imagine taking cookery lessons from someone who thinks aubergine, mashed potatoes and a boiled egg on top is a good combo?

 

[AmTellinYa]

Oh @Pocahontas with this centennial thread recap you have truly spoilt us!

Sit the fuck down, Cooper, she needs to see Nebraska! - has just made me howl

Happy 100 you nasty cabal of ninnies!! Here's to the next century of chaos, slop and general hilarity

 

[FrumpyCat]

One of the most embarrassing things I’ve seen for a while is Jack’s handwritten notes on the US election. I can just see her writing it all out very carefully in different coloured pens, with her tongue stuck out in concentration. Then posting it on Twitter because she’s so proud of it. Meanwhile, Louisa does *actual news broadcasting* for a living, at a very senior level too. Imagine her having to say to Jack, “well done darling doesn’t that look nice”, as if you were indulging a child. Because I strongly suspect that is the dynamic in that relationship.
And yet there is Jack, thinking she’s the big expert, completely unaware of how simplistic she is, probably wondering why Louisa hasn’t got her a gig as Krishnan’s replacement on C4 news.

I think Jack was one of those girls at school that did their own colour codes revision timetables, but spent so long colouring it in, that she didn't get round to revising.

Although I will concede her handwriting is much nicer than mine. Mine always looks like I've written it while wearing vision distorting googles.

One of my favourite moments on the ligreenie This Morning itwas when Ruth said 'well done!' to Jack as she presented a dish of half cooked pasta.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Tonight's complete infantilising of Louisa has really been something to behold, huh? How *did* she manage before Jack, one wonders.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Redcar is a place in England. Jack shouted at Jude Law to sit the fuck down at The Groucho, because she needed to see the Brexit results for Redcar on the tv so she could write it down for her essay due in the next day, titled Why Brexit is Very Very Bad, by Jack M aged 30

Oh I seeeeeee! I thought Redcar was a political term that I wasn’t clever enough to know. I knew about the Jude law thing but just smiled and played along that I knew what Redcar was

It honestly infuriates me that she has the gall to talk about voting and brexit when she spoiled her ballot.

 

[acca00]

Does Louisa not look at Jack's twitter and see all this b#llsh#t about Cooper "going missing" and think "What am I doing hanging round with this woman?"

O/T: the last paragraph of that Vice article made me laugh: " As if remembering who she is, Jack clatters back into chaotic motion. She needs to get ready for the school run, test some more recipes, make arrangements for a big shoot. She bustles me out of the door and into the bright afternoon sun. I don’t blame her. There is so much work to do. "

So basically all she has on is to pick Jonny up from school later!

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Oh I seeeeeee! I thought Redcar was a political term that I wasn’t clever enough to know. I knew about the Jude law thing but just smiled and played along that I knew what Redcar was

It honestly infuriates me that she has the gall to talk about voting and brexit when she spoiled her ballot.

Redcar has lemon tops. Most important thing about it.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Cooper is prob sitting on the sofa happy as larry but gotta get some drama going somehow

 

[PoorPatrol]

I’ll bet Louisa is working late or something, so Jack’s doing a chaos to make her feel guilty.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

What a Monroe-llercoaster. Zoe Eccentricity? Hardly know her. Between that, the 11th hour interest in American politics, copying out the lockdown guidelines (presumably as punishment from a schoolmarm for suggesting warm iceberg lettuce mixed with sardines and lentils) and buying chocolate bars for internet randos instead of fulfilling Patreon perks, she's been quite insufferable. That's not even including her undisguised glee and gloating over having re-captured her second income true love.

Congratulations cabal upon reaching the hundred thread milestone! A momentous occasion indeed. May you be blessed with cursed gifs and riffs on ribollita on this auspicious day.

 

[colouredlines]

Jack joined the fire service in 2007 (month unknown) and left in October 2011, so a maximum of 4 Bonfire Nights. Probably maximum 3 as she would have been on maternity leave in 2010.

PS she hated Bonfire Night but loved Christmas, the busiest day of the year? What a fucking sociopath... "Oh goodie, a record number of burn victims screaming into my ear! Pass the vegan pigs in blankets!"

 

[Leonard]

My eyes nearly popped out of my head!

I’m sure our Jackie will get her shout out once Marcus discovers the joys of Letdown Larder

 

[ScamSandwich]

Frauen and Herren, OT but...should we not compile a cookery book with a recipe each this christmas? I mean, people need to eat well and on a budget?
"The comprehensive coven cookery book- Frauen and Herren share their favourite recipes" No tip jars, no patreons, no cold oil unless it is a salad, no bunging it in, no smatterings and no novels before the recipe starts, unless it is a deliberate BS one. Keeping stews to a minimum.
Every recipe ends with "and now fuck off" instead of "Enjoy".

Edit:half-serious

 

[nightfeedz]

This latest accidental text/MSN name/GCSE revision note era is so cringe. What a ridiculous overshare and blatant invitation to gossip about ‘Bubble Buddy’.

Jack loves Tattle. She loves that we are talking about her. She loves stirring the pot and she loves having a convenient pack of vicious bullies to blame things on when she can’t be arsed following through on anything eg Patreon.

Full o shite!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I see Louisa has deleted the location now which is good though it’s always weird when we get a reminder that they are reading here constantly

They’re probably on the F&D thread to boot, Louisa probably just wants chips and gravy (and a baby’s head pudding if that’s right?) like our @Alansbigplate, especially after a mega week at work. Instead she’s got to endure some sort of bushtucker trial whilst getting mugged off

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I’m pretty sure my first wage went on cigarettes and a go halves on vodka. We had a dodgy newsagents that sold to underage 16/17 year olds. Forever bringing this class to the cabal aren’t I?