The SubJack Chronicles 🧎
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
David Beckham did it all so much better.
Sorry, I'll see myself out.
Sorry, I'll see myself out.
This is perfect! I salute you!Hair of bae (I tried)
Gelmet
View attachment 1310041
Sticked back so it looks cemented to his head like a helmet.
Loosely held back
View attachment 1310037
Hair slicked back with moroccan oil and got2be hairspray (the yellow one) Has the freedom to have a luscious flow and to fall into his face, where a single strand of hair could obliterated your day.
CurtainsView attachment 1310036
Two full curtains falling into place like dominoes as Taylor swift would say in her song gold rush.
One half curtain
View attachment 1310055
A sub category off of the loosely held back look where the messy hair falls into his face but stays there and isn’t pushed away.
Braid (neat)
View attachment 1310048
Neatly executed braid, very symmetrical and well proportioned, more flat to the head, past the bobble looks like a horse’s tail sticking out the back.
Braid (messy)
View attachment 1310050
Messy braid normally kind of looks like there’s something underneath raising it up. The messy braid looks like he’s been in a cat fight and started with the neat braid. Normally acquired while pissed. Bit chaotic.
Ponytail (neat)
-toddler pineapple bae is the only example I could find
View attachment 1310039
A neatly assembled pony tail. A well formed, crisp pony tail that looks like a hairbrush has been used to smooth out the bumps.
Ponytail (messy)
View attachment 1310038
A messily assembled ponytail. Bit slapdash gets the job done holds the hair where it needs to be, sort of makes me want him to choke me.
Frontwards capJack
View attachment 1310054
Feels unnecessary as you can’t see his hair but it is. Cap is used to cover the hair, the peak at the front is a bit sneaky… like he’s anonymously trying to walk off the team bus and no one will know it’s him.
Backwards capJack
View attachment 1310040
Backwards baseball cap, giving an air of fuckboy attitude. Little flicks of hair visible through the hole at the front of his head.
BeaniehatJack
View attachment 1310049
Same as front capJack but with a beanie.
Post Euros headband
View attachment 1310047
The fade a little to shorts so can almost see the head band forming an imprint in the back of his giant head. The curtains fall a little differently and I can’t explain why it’s just the way it is.
Euros headband
View attachment 1310046
If you like the headband this is the one you like, everything falls correctly his hair was the right length at the back. Personally feel it’s more of a euros nostalgic feeling because it’s definitely not his best hairstyle.
Floppy all over the place hair
View attachment 1310044
The most chaotic of all his looks. His hair out of control and ‘he needs a bobble’ Looks very soft, like you could run your hands through it and it wouldn’t feel crispy like a few of the other hairstyles.
After training/playing sweaty headbands been taken out
View attachment 1310052
The hair falls as if the headband is still there, the bump from where he’s been wearing the headband gives him indended curtains.
Loose training/playing sweaty hair (not much product)
View attachment 1310051
Where the hair doesn’t have much product so leaves a almost air of mystery of how it will end up, could be any position, even all swooped to one side that makes me want to cry tears of joy.
Full of product but the sweat has made it loose
View attachment 1310086
Where it probably started slicked back, but the sweat has taken it away so now it’s in his face and he’s pushing it away sometimes to one side sometimes back to the OG position and sometimes he just leaves it in his face.
Colours
Blonde like counsellor bae: Straw like, very brash in your face.
View attachment 1310053
Highlights done well: gives depth to the hair so it’s not all one colour.
View attachment 1310095
brown: No dye, all natural baby.
View attachment 1310043
Needs his roots done blonde: Whatever’s is going on now (duck you Astar barbers) can see exactly where the blonde start, very harsh and deliberate but not giving the desired look.
View attachment 1310045
God.
I think this might be a top 5 weakness of mine.
Oh he was in there but seems to have escaped the dungeon and has been replaced with a broken link icon
I accept this may have been user error rather than insubordination
Hear bror brorsan bro all the time in my country thats like broski bruvva bro. Even when a guy in Swedish Ex on the beach had sex with a woman he was like Oh bro this feels so nice broski. The woman was not impressed with the pillow talk to put it mildly.
I call my boss Quadruple. Hi's a Liverpoolfan and I have great sense of humor.
Everybody at work knowing anything about football think it's fun except for the Liverpoolfans, they clearly got no humor at all. Also good lesson for them, don't start bragging about winning four titles in advance, reality might hit hard. Also HAIRGATE: I like curtains not to much products because might be greasy on my pillow case and not nice to mess around with. Them Astar sucks shaving too much on the sides also can't color. They can not be trusted with baes hair. I need to send a memo about this, unclear to whom but maybe to the international court of justice in the Hauge because baes hair not looking good kind of offends my human rights.
here ya go - the photo from yesterday reposted but without the video
He really didn’t like us not liking his dancing, did he?
It kills me that we now know that there’s a braid in this photo, but we can’t see it
He looks happy
Attachments
I love JG nose. He looks fresh here not off his chops. Like his crappy dancing. The video with him and the young lad River who is poorly dancing is so aaah
Have we upset him somehow? I bet he eats his McDonald's off a plate and is hurt that some of you judge him for that
They all look like naughty kids who have been told they can’t play
Attachments
Looks like he’s been mithered by Dec ever since he arrived.
They were watching the women
Bet he was bored
Bet he was bored
Maybe he'd already tried his luck and been turned down.They were watching the women
Bet he was bored
Jack is proper pouting.
Jack that person who has to blow out the bday candles even if it's not his bday.Jack is proper pouting.
In this case he wants to play football not watch
I do love his sulky pouty faces.
He's obviously upset John again because he doesn't have the bottle to tell Declan to piss off.
Do we have a petulant child folder?
- Status