Jack Grealish #47 Fork, then Spoon

[cornflower]

This was VERY fun

OK, so in the name of fairness I had to look at a LOT of nips and thought I'd just include pretty much all of them, with the most underwhelming ones spoilered. Think Tammy's are my least fave.

Lineup: mix of ENG '20 and '22 squad. Omitted youngsters, those for whom 'x shirtless' retrieves zero nip on Google Images, and blokes I've never heard of.

Spoiler: Crap Nips

Gallagher: massive and flat

Tripps: fucking tiny and really high?

Sterling: just boring and soft

Dec: too pink and girly

Shaw: looks kind of fit here but the nips are crap - pink AND hard isn't for me

Tammy: non-existent. Dealbreaker.

can't remember who this is lol but really dislike his nips

Sancho: this photo is so fit but nips are too big sorry

Spoiler: Average Nips

Hendo: fucking HELL he is fit here though

TAA: most cringe photo ever

Double Trouble! Let's not sleep on HM's body, wow

Mings ft. little peekaboo Coady nip (kind of into CC's snail trail here)

Reece James: this is one of the least attractive photos I have ever seen. Nips bit small too

Walks: sorry but how fit is he here

Foden: nicer nips than you'd expect, but nothing groundbreaking

Gorgeous Nips

JS5: the king of the perfectly soft, pink nip (this photo is fit as FUCK)

Mount: credit where credit's due. V nice nips

Chilly (and is that Madders?): holy FUCK

DCL: lovely teeny nips

Rashford: wow. Amazing nips.

Top Tier Nips

Harry Kane: toffee-coloured, hard af, perfect size

The Eternal Deity of Perfect Nips

Jack Grealish: if you've never zoomed in on his nips before, please do so now. There is NO need for how hard and perfect these are. This makes my flutter so much it almost hurts

so we can see their beautiful caramel hue and get a slightly different angle on their erect-ness, I love how they're almost covered here

still not convinced?

If you still aren't sure and your name isn't @cobette then please refer to the video 'Jack Grealish's First Day at Man City'

 

[ruby1080]

Do we have a new love story brewing? Why can he not look at me like this?

 

[333149O]

The slight smirk. The look in his eyes. The boy band hair. Adam’s apple peeking through. Jawline on point. Navy blue… I am merely a hole

 

[wonderstruck25]

Hair of bae (I tried)


Gelmet

Sticked back so it looks cemented to his head like a helmet.

Loosely held back

Hair slicked back with moroccan oil and got2be hairspray (the yellow one) Has the freedom to have a luscious flow and to fall into his face, where a single strand of hair could obliterated your day.

Curtains

Two full curtains falling into place like dominoes as Taylor swift would say in her song gold rush.

One half curtain

A sub category off of the loosely held back look where the messy hair falls into his face but stays there and isn’t pushed away.

Braid (neat)

Neatly executed braid, very symmetrical and well proportioned, more flat to the head, past the bobble looks like a horse’s tail sticking out the back.

Braid (messy)

Messy braid normally kind of looks like there’s something underneath raising it up. The messy braid looks like he’s been in a cat fight and started with the neat braid. Normally acquired while pissed. Bit chaotic.

Ponytail (neat)
-toddler pineapple bae is the only example I could find

A neatly assembled pony tail. A well formed, crisp pony tail that looks like a hairbrush has been used to smooth out the bumps.

Ponytail (messy)

A messily assembled ponytail. Bit slapdash gets the job done holds the hair where it needs to be, sort of makes me want him to choke me.

Frontwards capJack

Feels unnecessary as you can’t see his hair but it is. Cap is used to cover the hair, the peak at the front is a bit sneaky… like he’s anonymously trying to walk off the team bus and no one will know it’s him.

Backwards capJack

Backwards baseball cap, giving an air of fuckboy attitude. Little flicks of hair visible through the hole at the front of his head.

BeaniehatJack

Same as front capJack but with a beanie.

Post Euros headband

The fade a little to shorts so can almost see the head band forming an imprint in the back of his giant head. The curtains fall a little differently and I can’t explain why it’s just the way it is.

Euros headband

If you like the headband this is the one you like, everything falls correctly his hair was the right length at the back. Personally feel it’s more of a euros nostalgic feeling because it’s definitely not his best hairstyle.

Floppy all over the place hair

The most chaotic of all his looks. His hair out of control and ‘he needs a bobble’ Looks very soft, like you could run your hands through it and it wouldn’t feel crispy like a few of the other hairstyles.

After training/playing sweaty headbands been taken out

The hair falls as if the headband is still there, the bump from where he’s been wearing the headband gives him indended curtains.

Loose training/playing sweaty hair (not much product)

Where the hair doesn’t have much product so leaves a almost air of mystery of how it will end up, could be any position, even all swooped to one side that makes me want to cry tears of joy.

Full of product but the sweat has made it loose

Where it probably started slicked back, but the sweat has taken it away so now it’s in his face and he’s pushing it away sometimes to one side sometimes back to the OG position and sometimes he just leaves it in his face.

Colours

Blonde like counsellor bae: Straw like, very brash in your face.

Highlights done well: gives depth to the hair so it’s not all one colour.

brown: No dye, all natural baby.

Needs his roots done blonde: Whatever’s is going on now (fuck you Astar barbers) can see exactly where the blonde start, very harsh and deliberate but not giving the desired look.

 

[cobette]

Title courtesy of @Gossgossgoss9888

Recap?

After months of speculation over who JG's favourite brother is, he revealed that it is not Kyle, Phil or John, but Ollie.

We discussed how best to eat corn on the cob.

Bab is back at SGP and everything seems right with the world.

Most importantly, is this the most universally approved picture of all time!?

 

[applecrumble7]

Cutey pie tax

 

[rosierose91]

Sorry if this has been posted, one more time won’t hurt.
This hits me in the feels. Nostalgic England Bae

 

[wonderstruck25]

Lazy first day at SGP tax as I’m making stir fry and don’t have time for anything else

 

[wonderstruck25]

That’s more like it!!

 

[rosierose91]

I’ve been scouring through thousands of pictures for the appropriate JackTax and I’ve found this.
How lush is he though? Eyes

 

[cobette]

Do you think we’ve been a bit forward at times?

Us!?

 

[Timefortea93]

 

[wonderstruck25]

The more that I look at him… he may be wearing a puffer coat when it is not necessary but omg.

This hair is my fav.

I’m drunk and emosh… he is so fucking attractive

 

[candylady]

Delicious thighs tax

 

[ruby1080]

Jack Grealish #48 DJ Grealo on the decks, still too shy to drop his kecks

Edit: don’t know if kecks is a northernism so apols if it doesn’t translate.

 

[wonderstruck25]

This is the 5th thread in 8 days… we should probs stop discussing cutlery to such a detailed degree

 

[iluvpink]

Isn’t he just BEAUTIFUL?! That smile

 

[wonderstruck25]

Gallagher reminds me of the cheap version of Barbie you get from Poundland, with the clapped up clothes and shit.

Bae is Ken and Gallagher is… Ben

Nah I’ve proper made myself laugh, I need a nap

 

[Kakan]

Arrival video: Team manager seems to like to hug Jack a little bit more than the rest and didn't hugged all of them. The Harrys did not get a hug. She might be a tattle.

Who invited this guy? I don't like him but at least he makes Jacks bleached hair look good.

Who is this and who cut his hair?

Someone needs to tell Jordan that if you want to copy Jack you need hair. Like Nathan Aké but you don't get away with this even if you are JPEA.

Conclusion: England got hairproblems.

 

[cobette]

Looking quite bulgey here. Is this now a Harry Kane rave thread?

View attachment 1311311

You cannot convince me that Harry Kane has sex. Those kids were made in a lab.