Is your adult life anything like you imagined it would be?

[dancingqueen5678]

I don't know if I'm alone in this but during my teen years I was very depressed so I never expected to live past 20. Never expected to achieve anything or find someone who loves me, and never expected to grow any confidence.

My vision of adulthood was one that actually seemed rather bleak, but only because I was suicidal and struggled all the way through school and my early 20's.

I'm much more outgoing, happy although I do still struggle with my mental health, I have a much better outlook now. Definitely not how I imagined it at all, being an adult is tough as a kid it always looked so easy.

I feel this. I was suppose to end my life the year I turned 16. Had plans and everything. Wasn't suppose to see my 17th birthday. It's weird cause I don't really have an expectation of what life would be like at the age I am now cause I wasn't suppose to be alive to see it.

That said, doing okay. Took me awhile to figure out what I wanted so I'm only now in the final year of my degree at 25, will be 26 when I finish. I don't know if what I want my life to be like a year from now will happen but I have hope. I definitely prefer adulthood to childhood. I love the freedom adulthood brings (although with a price tag admittedly). That said, there is a part of me that wishes I'd enjoyed my teenage years more (through no fault of my own obviously)

 

[Cheapseats]

Tbh I cant recall what I thought life would be like ...it was so long ago

Do your best which sometimes will be piss poorly. And in the words of Aerosmith "life's a journey not a destination "

Enjoy when you can ride the rough tit.

 

[dancingqueen5678]

Tbh I cant recall what I thought life would be like ...it was so long ago

Do your best which sometimes will be piss poorly. And in the words of Aerosmith "life's a journey not a destination "

Enjoy when you can ride the rough tit.

I saw a quote once and I'll never forget it "sometimes you have to write the whole chapter before realising you wrote the wrong thing but it is that, just a chapter, not the whole book." I try to remember that in life when tit pops up or if I feel regret for something

 

[SweetSummerChild]

Quicksand is much less of a problem than I thought it would be…

 

[dancingqueen5678]

Tax is more annoying than I thought it’d be. It was always just one of those things as a kid now I’m like “i worked this many hours and only got paid x amount!!!!”

 

[SweetSummerChild]

Tax is more annoying than I thought it’d be. It was always just one of those things as a kid now I’m like “i worked this many hours and only got paid x amount!!!!”

Oh god, I know, right? I’m working tons of extra hours at the moment because we’re short staffed, and it seems like the taxman takes such a huge swingeing cut it hardly seems worth it.

 

[dancingqueen5678]

Oh god, I know, right? I’m working tons of extra hours at the moment because we’re short staffed, and it seems like the taxman takes such a huge swingeing cut it hardly seems worth it.

In one my jobs (i only work minimal hours a week there) I got taxed a penny under my hourly wage. 1 hours work for a whole penny

 

[521418]

Thought I’d be married with kids by now. 31 & thinking of doing it alone.

 

[emm]

In one my jobs (i only work minimal hours a week there) I got taxed a penny under my hourly wage. 1 hours work for a whole penny

i wish we were taught financial things at school, algebra has yet to come in use but wtf are we not taught basic basic things like paying bills/council tax etc?! I didn't realise (I am in the UK) that as a single person I could pay less until a random neiguhbour told me! basic things like this should be taught in schools imo

 

[ell73949032838]

Not at all. I’ve never really thought about it until now. But now I’m sad thinking about it. I always thought I’d be out clubbing all the time and going on girls holidays. Reality is I fell out with my friends on my first girls holiday which was tit, we ended up splitting into 2 groups and have drifted entirely. I don’t have much of a social life. I have about 4 real friends. I’ve been in a relationship since I was 17 which I never thought I would be. I’ve been walked over and cheated on in said relationship and still stayed but I never thought that would happen to me. I’ve been overweight and insecure for all of my teenage years, and I still haven’t lost any weight. If young me saw me now, the harsh reality is that they would be very disappointed and embarassed

 

[emm]

Not at all. I’ve never really thought about it until now. But now I’m sad thinking about it. I always thought I’d be out clubbing all the time and going on girls holidays. Reality is I fell out with my friends on my first girls holiday which was tit, we ended up splitting into 2 groups and have drifted entirely. I don’t have much of a social life. I have about 4 real friends. I’ve been in a relationship since I was 17 which I never thought I would be. I’ve been walked over and cheated on in said relationship and still stayed but I never thought that would happen to me. I’ve been overweight and insecure for all of my teenage years, and I still haven’t lost any weight. If young me saw me now, the harsh reality is that they would be very disappointed and embarassed

honestly as someone much older than you 4 friends is a lot! if your relationship makes you feel bad end it. Plain and simple, do not think twice. I have been in your situation and which I had ended things. Wishing you all the best

 

[dancingqueen5678]

Not at all. I’ve never really thought about it until now. But now I’m sad thinking about it. I always thought I’d be out clubbing all the time and going on girls holidays. Reality is I fell out with my friends on my first girls holiday which was tit, we ended up splitting into 2 groups and have drifted entirely. I don’t have much of a social life. I have about 4 real friends. I’ve been in a relationship since I was 17 which I never thought I would be. I’ve been walked over and cheated on in said relationship and still stayed but I never thought that would happen to me. I’ve been overweight and insecure for all of my teenage years, and I still haven’t lost any weight. If young me saw me now, the harsh reality is that they would be very disappointed and embarassed

If those 4 friends are good friends who would be there no matter what then you’re doing okay! It’s better to have a few brilliant friends than friends who aren’t good friends.
As for your relationship, life is far too short to be unhappy. You truly deserve better than being walked all over and treated that way. No one ever believes it but it is genuinely better to be single than in a relationship that is bad, brings you down or is toxic. I promise you. It really sounds like it’s really time you focus on YOU and make yourself a priority over crappy people. Let me tell you, they won’t like but having boundaries and not putting up with disrespect is one of the best feelings. You can do it. You just have to believe you’re worth it and you truly are!

 

[mindlessness]

I think child/teenage me would be annoyed that therapy is still necessary

My 20s definitely have not gone according to the plans I had as a teenager. But amidst the disappointments and curveballs I've also done lots things I am very proud of, and made a few brilliant friends too. I also have a close relationship with my family, which I really value. That all leaves me feeling mildly optimistic aboiut my 30s, but also with no firm plans for them - because who knows how they will go!

 

[Anne1448]

Teenage me would be absolutely thrilled by the life that I have now.

I mean, I was suicidal from age 10 till 20 so I never had a lovely vision of life. But one day I watched a movie where a character said "Take it one day at a time." And since then I kept this mindset. Life was tough for so long that I used to cry almost every day hoping that I wouldn't wake up.

Then one day I had an amazing job opportunity and I moved to Ireland. Life has never been better! I realized that living in a big city, having a big salary and rushing like everybody else simply wasn't for me. I moved to the countryside and now work from home. It completely changed my mental health. My boyfriend broke up with me and I was shaken because I really thought that I finally found the right one for me. But oh well, I'd rather be alone and at peace than engaged and miserable.

 

[bubbadabut]

No. I actually thought I was going to be Mrs Mark Owen. It didn't pan out for me, but then again, I probably had a lucky escape

 

[TheGlossy]

Oh god, I know, right? I’m working tons of extra hours at the moment because we’re short staffed, and it seems like the taxman takes such a huge swingeing cut it hardly seems worth it.

I got a bonus of shy of 2K earlier this year and only 600 quid landed on my account because of taxes. I don't want to complain because it was good enough I got a bonus during COVID, but still, it's a rip off. The taxman is getting more than I do simply.

 

[Ticktickmeh]

I thought i would have had kids, house and marriage by 28. I don't have any of them & quiet a bit over 28 now . I am in the process of looking to buy and didnt ever expect it to be so hard and competitive with prices sky rocketing.
I do have a job for the most part i enjoy and have been lucky (pre covid) to have travelled alot, including living abroad.
I am pretty happy... and hopefully soon the house will fall into place

I did used to think 28 was super old (i was in early high school at the time) which is probably why i thought I'd be "settled". At 28 i was not at all interested in settling..far too young

 

[880411]

I don’t even know what I thought my life would be like when I was younger, don’t think I even considered it

My parents split up in my mid teens and my mum became very unstable
This affected me going into adulthood
I flunked my A levels, dropped out of uni, went from dead end job to dead end job, and had a baby quite young

I did get my life back on track in my mid/late twenties and got on a career path, got married etc
so I do often wonder what my life would be like now had this not happened

 

[JulesO]

I wanted a nice job, something that has to do with animals, live in a nice apartment. I never wanted kids or get married and still dont want that. But...
I dropped out of college a couple times, did alot of stupid things, lost my friends, don´t talk to my parents anymore, have a tit job and live in a small studio apartment with my dogs.
I did always think i never would be very old and i still think that. The only reason for living at the moment is for my dogs.

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I didn't have any clear views of what adult life would be like. What I've found out in the event that it has often taken me where I could never have imagined going, has often not been easy but that redeeming hope, joy and friendships can be found in the most unexpected of places.