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I always said I wouldn't be a suit working in an office doing a 9 to 5. And that's exactly what I do 
except I'm on flexi time.
I thought I would have kids by now but I don't
But otherwise I think I'm more comfortable than I ever imagined
except I'm on flexi time.I thought I would have kids by now but I don't
But otherwise I think I'm more comfortable than I ever imagined
Nope, I thought Iād own a home and be married with babies by 30. Iām 31, living in a houseshare with friends and not even sure whether or not I want children. I have a boyfriend who I have so much fun with but he is a Peter Pan and Iām not sure what exactly our future holds. I wish I hadnāt put so much pressure on myself, I had a breakdown at 27 when I realised it wasnāt all going to fall into place. I hate the thought that I worry my parents too. Ultimately though I enjoy my life and Iām happy which now feels like the point, even if it wasnāt what I expected.
-I didn't expect the mental illness or the loneliness. I honestly didn't think it would be this hard on the days I really struggle.
-I thought I would be done with the current degree I'm doing at the moment by the age of 23. (30 now and it's my second one not my first as I would have thought ).
-I used to think that you only fell in love once and love alone was enough - it's not.
-I have a full drivers licence but I stopped driving 5+ years ago. It makes me too anxious. Pretending to drive was all the rage when my dad left us in the car with our mum we would climb over to the front seat.
-I never expected that looking after a plant would make me happy.
-I never expected that I would get bored of left over cake in the fridge after a birthday party.
Plus sides :
-I like being able to go wherever I want with just an osyter card.
-I like being able to just eat what I want when I want even if it's 10pm.
-I thought I would be done with the current degree I'm doing at the moment by the age of 23. (30 now and it's my second one not my first as I would have thought ).
-I used to think that you only fell in love once and love alone was enough - it's not.
-I have a full drivers licence but I stopped driving 5+ years ago. It makes me too anxious. Pretending to drive was all the rage when my dad left us in the car with our mum we would climb over to the front seat.
-I never expected that looking after a plant would make me happy.
-I never expected that I would get bored of left over cake in the fridge after a birthday party.
Plus sides :
-I like being able to go wherever I want with just an osyter card.
-I like being able to just eat what I want when I want even if it's 10pm.
I thought I would be settled by 26, but was so so lost. I think most of my life Iāve been lost , very unguided by my mother who also is lost, but due to her own upbringing .
I wanted to be a career climber , and was until I had a child . Now I have plateaued at a job that is well enough paid and I get to see my child as much as possible .
so no, life is not like I expected , but nothing really ever is, is it? I tried and continue to try my best , and I guess that Is all that matters. Im Mid 30s so only half way through my life I guess ?Plenty of time to sort myself and my child out .
I wanted to be a career climber , and was until I had a child . Now I have plateaued at a job that is well enough paid and I get to see my child as much as possible .
so no, life is not like I expected , but nothing really ever is, is it? I tried and continue to try my best , and I guess that Is all that matters. Im Mid 30s so only half way through my life I guess ?Plenty of time to sort myself and my child out .
Itās much better than I imagined.
when I was a young teenager I always thought I would be single my whole life and live with my parents until they died and then Iād have a million cats for company- no disrespect to anyone who has that life i felt content with that but also felt like I didnāt really have anything to look forward to.
Iām almost 30 now Iāve been with my husband 15 years (married 8 years), weāve got a wonderful daughter and son and home. I have had a fantastic career and I am so proud of myself for never giving up and accepting my fate because it never was my fate. I wish I could go back and tell that painfully shy girl to be confident, to ignore bullies and to never doubt how amazing you are because you can get through anything!!
when I was a young teenager I always thought I would be single my whole life and live with my parents until they died and then Iād have a million cats for company- no disrespect to anyone who has that life i felt content with that but also felt like I didnāt really have anything to look forward to.
Iām almost 30 now Iāve been with my husband 15 years (married 8 years), weāve got a wonderful daughter and son and home. I have had a fantastic career and I am so proud of myself for never giving up and accepting my fate because it never was my fate. I wish I could go back and tell that painfully shy girl to be confident, to ignore bullies and to never doubt how amazing you are because you can get through anything!!
I really feel all of these!
For me, it depends on the various stages of my "day-dreaming".
If I compare to my vision of adulthood as a child, I'd say I've surpassed most of my then goals.
If I compare to my vision of adulthood during college, I'd say it's 50/50. I thought I would:
If I compare to my vision of adulthood as a child, I'd say I've surpassed most of my then goals.
If I compare to my vision of adulthood during college, I'd say it's 50/50. I thought I would:
- be engaged between 28-30 (I'm turning 31 this year and haven't dated in 5 years)
- have a fantastic career track with progression (my performance is great, I have top tier companies on my CV, but I've been stuck at the same entry level for the last 7 years)
- have a solid group of friends or a best friend (my friends are fleeting for the most part and real friendship are hard to come by)
- have my driver's license (the whole thing has been a debacle for the last 2 years - more of a financial drain than anything)
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I thought I would be married with two kids and owning my own wedding dress shop.
Instead I am (nearly married) with two cats and running the family property firm.
Instead I am (nearly married) with two cats and running the family property firm.
Itās much better than I thought it would be. I was a very anxious and depressed teenager and I do wish I could go back and tell her everything would be okay in the end.
Love that we all think we'll be married with kids and house by like 25, and that that's so old! Whilst it's not what I imagined and I've had those crises about not reaching milestones etc, I'm happy with where I am now. Don't want kids or care for material things really and as long as I'm happy and comfortable I'm not in a rush for anything else either, just taking it as it comes!
I'm not doing what I thought I would be. I'm a music teacher who isn't teaching. I won't talk about personal stuff as I've become aware that one of my teenagers has joined tattle.
My mum was single after leaving an extremely violent relationship when we were Children and she has never had another long term relationship since. I always thought she must be so lonely and that it was sad that she never met someone else. I thought Iād work my bar job for life after falling pregnant at 19 and splitting with the dad before my baby was born. I thought I would be a sad single mum on benefits at that point. Fast forward 21 years and I have a good job doing book keeping and other admin type work. My kid is turning 21 and amazing. His dad has always been in his life after a bit of a rocky start. The only thing I didnāt expect was to be single at 40 and happy. My boyfriend died 4 years ago and Iāve had the occasional fling but nothing serious since. I have the most amazing life. My friends are the best and Iām enjoying my life and the freedoms I lost having a baby so young. Before lockdown I was taking holidays with friends and being able to do whatever I wanted when I wanted. It made me realise that just because youāre single it shouldnāt mean youāre unhappy
I've always been a bit of a drifter, a little free spirited so I never had many aspirations. I wanted to be an artistic person, and to be able to use those abilities, possibly be paid for my efforts. It was not to be, I now work in a job that is affecting my mental health, I end up crying after almost every shift. The money is hardly a compensation.
Another one of my desires, was to have a boyfriend and be in a loving relationship. I was never really interested in having a family, or being married. At least this part of my life has turned out well, I have known my partner for over 30 years, and have been with him since 2012. He has been an absolute rock in my life, I am lucky to have him.
Another one of my desires, was to have a boyfriend and be in a loving relationship. I was never really interested in having a family, or being married. At least this part of my life has turned out well, I have known my partner for over 30 years, and have been with him since 2012. He has been an absolute rock in my life, I am lucky to have him.
When I was a young child, I wanted to be a Teacher and have 3 kids by the time I was 25. My life is nothing like that. I have one child (I wanted more but it wasnāt meant to be), Iām married with a good job.
In my life Iāve had bereavement (both parents), which isnāt uncommon given Iām 41. But Iāve also had a ridiculous amount of game changers and depression and anxiety on top of that. I donāt think Iām really happy but I donāt know how to change it.
Little Lenny who wanted to be a teacher had no idea what life was really like
In my life Iāve had bereavement (both parents), which isnāt uncommon given Iām 41. But Iāve also had a ridiculous amount of game changers and depression and anxiety on top of that. I donāt think Iām really happy but I donāt know how to change it.
Little Lenny who wanted to be a teacher had no idea what life was really like
I thought I would fall in love and all my lifeās problems would disappear. I didnāt have an image of what that would look like, just that I would feel good. The reality was I didnāt have any concept of what love looked like and the first time I witnessed it in another couple I felt upset and angry. I was raised by society to expect much less out of relationships. This encounter set the bar high and also showed me places that I could work on myself.
That was my very early twenties. In my mid twenties I met a married couple decades older than me who inspired me again. They moved the goal post for when I expected things should āhappenā for me and what it could look like. She was 32 when they met and he was around the same age but divorced. They had and raised one daughter together. Heās passed away and it was truly a tragedy. They admired each other to pieces.
I myself am 31 and single. Iām happy in ways I couldnāt have imagined as a child. I didnāt have a happy childhood really. I am learning to take care of myself and my needs. Had I entered into a relationship earlier on, there would have been no room to think about these things. When people say you have to love yourself first before you can find someone else, it sounds a little like you have to identify your flaws, own them, and love them unconditionally and kind of develop an āFUā mentality of anyone incapable of treating you with the same kid gloves. Whereas now, I think of it as you have to become the sort of person youāre capable of loving and things will flow from there. And as an added bonus if youāre able to grow the muscle where you show yourself sympathy when youāre feeling down, youāll be able to do the same for another person if you ever want to. The older I get the more I question whether coupling off is what I want.
That was my very early twenties. In my mid twenties I met a married couple decades older than me who inspired me again. They moved the goal post for when I expected things should āhappenā for me and what it could look like. She was 32 when they met and he was around the same age but divorced. They had and raised one daughter together. Heās passed away and it was truly a tragedy. They admired each other to pieces.
I myself am 31 and single. Iām happy in ways I couldnāt have imagined as a child. I didnāt have a happy childhood really. I am learning to take care of myself and my needs. Had I entered into a relationship earlier on, there would have been no room to think about these things. When people say you have to love yourself first before you can find someone else, it sounds a little like you have to identify your flaws, own them, and love them unconditionally and kind of develop an āFUā mentality of anyone incapable of treating you with the same kid gloves. Whereas now, I think of it as you have to become the sort of person youāre capable of loving and things will flow from there. And as an added bonus if youāre able to grow the muscle where you show yourself sympathy when youāre feeling down, youāll be able to do the same for another person if you ever want to. The older I get the more I question whether coupling off is what I want.
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I always imagined Iād be like my parents marry young have children and be happy.
But I ended up having my son at 25 then went through years of an abusive relationship, I found the courage to leave at 28 and was a single parent for 3 years. I struggled with my mental health. At 31 I met my current partner and we are getting married next year.
I think going through what I went through and coming out the other side has made me appreciate life a lot more and if I didnāt go through it I wouldnāt of been where I am today.
But I ended up having my son at 25 then went through years of an abusive relationship, I found the courage to leave at 28 and was a single parent for 3 years. I struggled with my mental health. At 31 I met my current partner and we are getting married next year.
I think going through what I went through and coming out the other side has made me appreciate life a lot more and if I didnāt go through it I wouldnāt of been where I am today.
I thought by 25 I'd be a homeowner, settled into a career, married with a child, or at least a baby on the way.
I'm not engaged, but in a long term relationship. I don't imagine I'll get engaged or married anytime soon. We do own our home so I got that bit right but the rest I'm not so sure. The only thing I have ever been sure of is that I want to be a Mum, but I can't see that happening for a while as yet, which makes me sad. I'm still at uni studying for the career I want and will be pushing 30 by the time I'm fully qualified. Slightly behind in that respect.
One positive is that I'm far more outgoing as an adult than I was in my childhood/teen years. I'm still fairly shy and definitely not the loudest in the room, but I'm much better than I was. As a child I would hide behind friends/family so I didn't have to speak, wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm glad I've grown out of that.
I'm not engaged, but in a long term relationship. I don't imagine I'll get engaged or married anytime soon. We do own our home so I got that bit right but the rest I'm not so sure. The only thing I have ever been sure of is that I want to be a Mum, but I can't see that happening for a while as yet, which makes me sad. I'm still at uni studying for the career I want and will be pushing 30 by the time I'm fully qualified. Slightly behind in that respect.
One positive is that I'm far more outgoing as an adult than I was in my childhood/teen years. I'm still fairly shy and definitely not the loudest in the room, but I'm much better than I was. As a child I would hide behind friends/family so I didn't have to speak, wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm glad I've grown out of that.
Not all at, Iām not saying I hate my life but oh my god, my life has challenged me over the past few years. My children keep me going every single day. I never planned to have children, but Iām so glad I did.