Is your adult life anything like you imagined it would be?

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What a great thread.

I wrote myself a letter when I was 13 to open when I was 30 and I lost it!

I can remember that I did specifically write that if I didn't have a cat that I should go out and get one from a shelter, so past me would be pleased that I have 2 shelter cats.

I also wrote down the house phone number of my best pal and wrote that if I wasn't in touch that I should ring her. Turns out I was on the phone to her this morning about going to see a band so past me would also be happy.

I definitely agree that I thought I would be special, and be famous or well respected etc and that I'm actually very happy not to be.

Things that have not gone to plan (or have they?):

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at 25 I clawed my way out of a 3 year long abusive relationship with an alcoholic, angry man, who had stunted personal development and had vicariously stunted mine. I was unemployed, single, no career, didn't own a home, was in debt and had a lot of trauma to process.
- at 26 I had a few months of absolute euphoria, partying, enjoying freedom, and then had a breakdown (long time coming)
- at 27 I had a minimum wage office job. I met my lovely partner who was only 21 and at uni (eek). My family told me this was and inappropriate relationship and was still me lashing out, being irresponsible, processing the past few years. I knew different, he's an old soul.
- at 27 after 3 months of dating I fell pregnant (oops)
- at 27, while on mat leave, I did a qualification
- at 27 after having my baby at Christmas I was made redundant.
- at 29, after an extended mat leave (best redundancy ever, I got 14m with my baby) I got an entry level project management job.
- at 30 I got made redundant while we were in the process of buying our first house
- at 31 I got a more senior PM job.
- at 33 I moved into private industry (from public sector) and got a decent pay rise
- at 36 I got promoted into a senior leadership role

Never mind 'is your life different to what you imagined in childhood?' my life is so far beyond what I imagined 8 years ago.

This actually made me feel really full of gratitude typing this out. How nice.
 
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I thought by 31 I will have a kid and a family. What I realised is that I am hugely independent, I enjoy my me time but I do have a husband though. I thought friendship will last forever but nowadays I am too lazy to invest in it. I am happy to be in my own bubble. I think my younger self wouldn’t have approve
 
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I think my life is probably a bit like what I hoped for as a child, as I now have 3 kids and am currently a stay at home mum and have moved away from my hometown ( to a neighbouring town).

However, my life is very different to how I imagined it to be as a younger adult. I never thought I'd actually have more children and get married. I after splitting with my ex , I thought if I did enter a new relationship , it would be with a man with his own children, and we wouldn't live together.
I thought I would have more money but I think that is partly because things are more expensive now.

I thought I would be have more confidence, and less anxiety.

I find adult live to be a cycle of chores and it's quite relentless. I imagined life to be more exciting.
 
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I think my life is probably a bit like what I hoped for as a child, as I now have 3 kids and am currently a stay at home mum and have moved away from my hometown ( to a neighbouring town).

However, my life is very different to how I imagined it to be as a younger adult. I never thought I'd actually have more children and get married. I after splitting with my ex , I thought if I did enter a new relationship , it would be with a man with his own children, and we wouldn't live together.
I thought I would have more money but I think that is partly because things are more expensive now.

I thought I would be have more confidence, and less anxiety.

I find adult live to be a cycle of chores and it's quite relentless. I imagined life to be more exciting.
I'm single with no children and I have to admit, I too think life is a cycle of chores and commitments. Growing up, I idealized being an adult and the freedom it entailed. The freedom is however limited due to the necessary life commitments adults have. Even if I'm free to go out and do things, most times I'm simply too tired to think about any grandiose activity.
 
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Isn’t it funny, when you’re a child you dream of being a grown up and when you’re a grown up you dream of those happy and contented days of being a child, life just *felt* different, everyday new and exciting. Or at least that’s what my memories tell me.
I find adult life to be boring, I feel like every day is the same and I’m just hurtling towards death.

God I’m a miserable cow 😂

Edited to add...I think I haven’t actually felt a overwhelmingly pure happy feeling since I was a child.
 
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Isn’t it funny, when you’re a child you dream of being a grown up and when you’re a grown up you dream of those happy and contented days of being a child, life just *felt* different, everyday new and exciting. Or at least that’s what my memories tell me.
I find adult life to be boring, I feel like every day is the same and I’m just hurtling towards death.

God I’m a miserable cow 😂
I think about this everyday! I was just thinking about this 5 minutes ago. Everyday is the same, rinse and repeat. You get one exciting life event every couple of years or so if you're lucky, but most of the time, it's just plain stagnation.
 
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I think about this everyday! I was just thinking about this 5 minutes ago. Everyday is the same, rinse and repeat. You get one exciting life event every couple of years or so if you're lucky, but most of the time, it's just plain stagnation.

Isn’t it sad. I’m glad to know I’m not alone.
 
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I enjoy being in my 30 than 20. I felt for the first time I am very happy with our income and job. I am never a party person, so the care free party life was never a thing I felt I missed out. My 30s may not be the one I imagined, but I wouldn’t trade a thing for it.
 
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My life now and the past few years is what I always wanted my life to be. A few close friends, really close with my family and have a great boyfriend. We live together in a nice house with our cat and both have decent jobs (i do moan often about it but i shouldn't really), able to travel the world and just content really with a nice life.

I thought I'd have been married with kids but hasn't happened yet. Nor has getting my sausage dog!

I spent most of my 20's, meeting toxic people and being friends or in relationships with toxic, abusive people, and drinking/parties all weekend, every weekend. Had next to no relationship with some family. Was just on a very downward spiral.

So if younger me, saw me now, she would be happy :)

edited to add, I am 32 now. & been with my partner 3.5 yrs xo
 
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Yes and no. Yes, because I'm happily married with two young adult children ( not the four I planned on having, when I was a little girl! ) - my dream come true! . And I'm forever grateful for that. And 'no' because I never expected, and nothing could have prepared me for, the number of curveballs / amount of adversity we have had to deal with. No, that little girl back then never expected this.
Things have settled thankfully. But I shudder when I reflect on it, and wonder how we are still standing. It's changed me forever.
 
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Just found this thread, so interesting! Definitely not, I never really had a firm idea of what I wanted to do, I fell into my career and it is something I would never have imagined I would be doing but I do enjoy it, althugh the salary is awful.
I never really wanted children (until I was with my now ex bf, and now I think that ship has sailed) but I think I would have imagined that I would be married or with a stable partner by now. I also imagined living elsewhere in Europe which now with brexit would be very difficult :(
 
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I always said I wanted to be the opposite of what I grew up on and I am. I'm nothing like my mom's side of the family (which is who I grew up with). I wanted to be a midwife and I couldnt think of anything worse than becoming a mum. I hated kids and I never wanted them. I was desperate for that male role model in my life as my dad left when I was young, I still saw him once a year but it werent the same. Had a lot of mental health issues due to some fucked up tit that happened.

Fast forward to now, I am the opposite to what I grew up with. I am nothing like my family thank god. I'm not a midwife - not through lack of trying - I tried for years but couldnt pass my maths so now I'm doing a completely different degree & I feel like I was on this path all along, it just took me a while to figure it out. I got pregnant at 18 and kept the baby, and then I was in the most toxic relationship iv ever been in (because i was seeking that male role model in relationships), had another child at 21 and I have been single ever since. I bury my mental health issues that have only got worse since but I do have counselling now which helps.

I still hate kids - despite loving my own. I'm just not a fan of kids as a whole. I find them annoying. Occasionally you get the cool kid but most of the time they are annoying and loud and ergh. I'v since been sterilised and I never want any more kids ever ever again! lol.
 
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Yes and no, i always wanted the whole, kids, job, marriage and house thing and i feel very lucky to have all those in my 30s, however i dont feel like an adult one bit, what even is that...
 
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I don't know if I'm alone in this but during my teen years I was very depressed so I never expected to live past 20. Never expected to achieve anything or find someone who loves me, and never expected to grow any confidence.

My vision of adulthood was one that actually seemed rather bleak, but only because I was suicidal and struggled all the way through school and my early 20's.

I'm much more outgoing, happy although I do still struggle with my mental health, I have a much better outlook now. Definitely not how I imagined it at all, being an adult is tough as a kid it always looked so easy.
 
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Defintley not, I thought I’d be on my own forever!
I was 16 when I had my daughter, living at home with my parents, embarsssed that I was a teenage mum barely leaving the house as I was constantly being verbally abused by her dad and his friends.

Fast forward 7 years, I have a lovely partner (drives me mad but lovely) who has adopted my little girl, we have a 2 year old son and a baby on the way next year. I have a fab job and have 2 degrees and am so proud of what I achieved when things were so tough ❤
 
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I actually didn’t expect an adult life, definetly didn’t think I’d see past 16 nevermind 18 or 21, I had very bad mental health and it was only me falling pregnant that changed my perspective. No savings, still living at home, early twenties so would literally work part time just to fund my weekends out, rinse and repeat.

I work full time now, have my son who goes into preschool next year and we have our own home together. So, no, absolutely nothing like I imagined, but it’s definetly better than not being here.
 
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On paper I’ve got exactly what I imagined as a child. Marriage, kids and a job. Nice house, car and large garden. I’m very lucky in many ways and generally happy but we do have a child with a disability and although I’d never change him it is much harder than I ever imagined. You never want your own child to have to struggle for the rest of their lives but that is exactly the situation he will face and that breaks my heart a million times over.
 
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My life is totally different to what I imagined and a lot better than I thought it would be.

my mum brought me up on her own. She was an alcoholic on and off, had virtually no money despite the fact she did work all hours and she was virtually always depressed…

I grew up thinking and being told that all marriages are doomed to fail, that all men are bad etc and I used to look at friends at school who were going to Florida and I used to feel sad that I would never get to go there… I used to think I’d be like my mum I guess, not being able to afford to put food on the table after rent has been paid.

Now, life is totally different. I have a wonderful fiancé who I’m marrying next year and I am so excited about it, we own our home together and we both earn a modest wage (nothing amazing, but my wage is decent and his is brilliant for his age). We’ve been to Florida twice, New York, Iceland, Berlin and we’re planning Florida for our honeymoon!

life isn’t perfect, I struggle a lot as I have to support my mum with her mental health and I literally only have her and my brothers and that makes me sad sometimes, but overall life is so much better than I thought.
 
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