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Perplexity

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I really dealt for Alice at the start. I think most of us did, and I’m still hopeful that she’ll get through this anger stage. However , unfortunately as long as she’s got these minions encouraging her insanity and she’s getting attention I don’t think this will happen.
I hate what IG done posting that photo, it was cruel and fucked yo for his children to be left to cope with this shit show.

if IG finally gets his shit together and gets home and starts protecting those girls the way he should have from the start - without his girlfriend in tow. For me he’ll have redeemed himself.

(not that he gives a shit what I think) 😊 def over-invested
Whether IG should have posted the photo or not, Alice is still choosing this destructive behaviour. No one is forcing her to create this shit show. I really don’t agree that her behaviour is understandable as a natural emotional reaction to being upset. Sorry but I find that really kind of sexist? Or infantilising maybe? She’s an adult. I don’t agree that it’s ok for her to behave in this abusive way because her feelings are hurt. If a man was laughing about being violent towards his ex wife, or implying half the shit AE has said about Ioan, he’d be slated.
 
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Omg these screenshots are making me sick with disgust. It’s like an online praise-orgy.

Like, Alice doesn’t care about female empowerment and it’s hideous that she’s orienting herself in that movement as if this has always been a passion of hers. She’s manipulative and mean. She vindictive. She’s easily angered. She doesn’t take responsibility. She carries herself as if she’s owed something. She’s trying to fit herself into the box of “Abused Wife” but she’s only muffling or inadvertently encouraging the public to delegitimize the stories of women who are ACTUALLY in abusive situations. She’s not a victim. She just sucks.

Before anyone thinks I’m rinsing IG clean of any wrongdoing—my father cheated on my mother for 5 years, he even brought me around his mistress numerous times, and like 20 years later I’m still severely emotionally damaged by it. I can’t maintain intimate relationships and, at this point, no longer want one at all. I will not befriend nor communicate with ANYONE who shares her name. I’ve cut off my father, for the most part. I have low self-esteem for feeling like I wasn’t “good enough” for him, as weird as that sounds, because my mother was the one cheated on. And a bunch of other trash side effects. IG could have very well damaged his children with his decisions, and he should be ashamed & MORE than willing to foot their therapy bills ASAP.

The children aside, I look to AE and I really have zero sympathy. I’m sorry. For years, she was bullying this dude down to his boxers in initially subtle, passive-aggressive ways, and then glaring, shameless ways. Now, he struck back. Sure, she has a reason to be upset generally speaking as a wife whose husband was two-timing. But because it’s Alice, I just smile. She ran her mouth and he emotionally shut her down. My only disappointment is that he didn’t shut her up.

There’s a fun saying I like to use: “Push the wrong buttons, win shitty prizes.”

Also I couldn’t help myself with those shoes in her Etsy shop, lmao.
 

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Bluemoonday

Active member
She should put on those trainers, grab a bedazzelled bag, call and friend and go to a pub. Leave the phone at home. Gloria and kids will be relieved.
 
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This take is toxic af. I have parents who stayed married "for the kids", and then "for the grand kids" despite my father clearly hating my mother (and later that feeling was mutual). If you think you are doing them a favor I have bad news for you. It's one reason why I'm so "invested" in this, because I know that it's nonsense.
Same here, Welp! My parents have been living in open contempt for each other for 15 years now. I still remember getting yelled at on the day of my high school graduation because I told my dad when the ceremony was and not my mother. I was apparently supposed to infer that these two people who were married and lived in the same house wouldn't deign to speak to each other even when it concerned one of their kids, so it was my fault mom "didn't know". The home was no less broken for them staying together, and I actually think putting distance between them would've helped them. Actually divorced parents manage the level of communication they were refusing just fine, after all.

IG staying would've been much worse for the girls in the long run. Even if their parents still loved them, their lack of love for each other would still be damaging. And that's IF they could refrain from screaming matches, which I highly doubt.
 
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I do enjoy how she says she's open for discussion if anyone wants to have civilised debate and when she's presented with any differing opinion, however non-trollish it is, YOU'RE NOT PART OF MY ECHO CHAMBER GET OUT
 
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LucySmith

VIP Member
I mean point taken about the lack of questions (IF true), but she cant complain about him talking about his girlfriend after she complained about him denying that she is his girlfriend
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lol these people are completely nuts
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I rather doubt that it went literally like Alice tweets it
It makes me sad he can’t speak to his kids without the conversation broadcast to the world. It should be private between child and father only.
 
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What's fascinating and a bit sad to me is IG's complete and utter misread of the situation. He's already lived with her volatile moods long enough that they're old hat and kind of amusing, meanwhile you can tell from the way Furgeson interjects to kind of redirect things that he doesn't see any humour in it at all and thinks it's weird. Which is absolutely is! How telling that she stopped dead in the middle of telling him she absolutely hated him at the moment he gave her what she wanted. IG should've taken it as a sign on how the marriage would go.
 
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She doesn't realise that people writing to her on Twitter care less about her, and are more looking at this as entertainment. These are not loving, smart friends but people getting a rush out of watching a neighbourhood car accident. (and yes, clearly I am also being entertained by this whole sad affair... but at least I'm not pretending to have Alice, E1 and E2's best interests at heart as I write crappy advice and urge her on in her unhinged vendetta!)
Exactly! Her #Team has done nothing but spur her on in making potentially libelous statements, kept her talking when it was pretty clear she was inebriated and the best thing to do was log off and be quiet, jumped at everything she said no matter the contradiction, and allowed her to irreparably wreck her small children's sense of privacy in a way the courts definitely won't like. All this because they just kinda like having a direct line to a blue checkmark. I know I'm a broken record with saying that all AE is doing is providing a written record of questionable behaviour for the court, but really, she is. IG's lawyers could supply screenshots and nothing else and probably walk away with a court ordered psych eval if nothing more..
 
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Marj24

VIP Member
I have to confess, I feel guilty rubbernecking this shit show. However I have previously believed that AE will gain a bit of self awareness and caution. I believe no longer...
 
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Tootler

Active member
This would all be great if there was only one person at fault in this marriage and Alice was a perfect suffering angel married to a selfish abusive man. But that is way off what’s happening here.
Alice is an unhinged loon. But I, for one, would have CHEERED if Ioan dumping her had given her the kick in the pants she needed to pull herself together and get strategic about the divorce.
 
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welp

VIP Member
Right? And their daughter recently got married, and there was no public discord. Divorce doesn't make a man NOT the father of his children. You're always going to be linked. Civility is all you can hope for. Some people are better at this, but usually because they still care.
I thought these people WANT public discord, otherwise why the hell are they cheerleading Alice to do exactly this for the past year?!

@AliceEvansGruff Actor Simon Baker also left his wife of 29 years for someone almost half his age. I had hoped the new WOKE trend would be men NOT leaving the women who gave them their kids and best years; built bridges with fam and teachers - but I see I'm to be disappointed.
This take is toxic af. I have parents who stayed married "for the kids", and then "for the grand kids" despite my father clearly hating my mother (and later that feeling was mutual). If you think you are doing them a favor I have bad news for you. It's one reason why I'm so "invested" in this, because I know that it's nonsense.
 
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I’m sorry, I wasn’t done yesterday, I’ll SHUT UP now and participate in actual discussion, lol. I just feel it gets a little frazzling/disorienting in here what with AE’s bullshit-manipulation and lying.

Hope we all smile today!
 

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Bridgeofsighs

VIP Member
FM: One thing I will say is kids are smart when my ex went off with another woman my little boy saw his dad for who he was the sad part is they don’t really have much of a relationship

AE: I think I'm starting to experience a similar thing with my eldest. What a pity they couldn't fix the relationship even after the OW left. I'm fearing all those sorts of things too. 🤥 🥴


AE is acting totally innocent here like she had nothing to do with creating animosity towards their father. She fears Ella might be alienated permanently from her dad. Yeah, right. That's what she wants.

I really hope Ella and IG patch things up. We'll see, but it will be difficult as Ella seems to be in the parent role, acting as a mental health carer for her mother.
 
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There is absolutely no way any mediator worth a damn would allow for one parent to place caveats on the other's time with his own kids. That's not something AE can just go ahead and ask, I'm pretty sure that would require supplying actual evidence of real harm done by IG during his unsupervised calls (note: harm doesn't mean saying things the kids don't like, it means being actually abusive to them) and she plainly doesn't have any. It would, at most, provide a record for the court of her attempt to control the way her kids behave around their dad.

And... hold up, is she now alleging that IG has barely spoken to the youngest in three years, despite the fact he's only been gone for (less than) one and everything prior to that was supposedly perfect? And she was spending half the week at his place prior to his shoot in France by AE's own admission? What, did they just sit in silence? This is why carrying on on SM is such a terrible idea: She contradicts herself constantly and absolutely none of it would be known to us if she hadn't insisted on telling the world. It's sad to see she's bought in to the idea of being a brave crusader so wholly she doesn't seem to notice she's constantly shooting herself in the foot.
 
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EssieMay

VIP Member
I agree with LoisLane. I was thinking this last night. As far as I can tell, from what I've learned here over the past 2 weeks, I don't think Ioan has done much wrong at all. Maybe infidelity but no proof of that.
He looks to me like someone who was unhappy and living with an abusive wife (not respecting boundaries) for a long time and fell out of love but stayed for the children. Working away allowed him to clear his head and he decided to leave her. Had to get all his ducks lined up so he could get away from her safely and called in all the paid help he could (lawyers, mediators etc.). Is now working through that process, following his lawyers advice/guidance to the letter and trying to be a good dad long distance.
There will be things happening behind the scenes that we don't know about. Lawyers and others will be working to keep the girls safe. I think the photo with Bianca was Ok'ed by lawyers because a threshold had been crossed (probably a time threshold re the divorce, as I've said before). I reckon the lawyers can't believe their luck. This is a textbook case of their client's spouse doing absolutely EVERYTHING wrong and they (and a lot of other lawyers) are watching it closely for future cases.
 
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Perplexity

VIP Member
I have never been cheated on (thank heavens) but I have a good friend who was and I spent a lot of time reading the Chumplady website and learned some valuable things, there. This is what I think would have been totally badass:

Basically, Alice should have played it cool; focused on being steady for both herself and the kids; acted nice (well, at least calm and civil) to Ioan's face. He would have thought, "Alice is taking this better than expected," and would have just focused on shagging Bianca while enjoying the South of France. In the meantime, without letting Ioan get so much of a whiff of what she was doing, Alice ought to have been madly interviewing top-notch divorce lawyers; collecting proof of where their family savings are kept and how much down to the last dime (once men get involved with other women, it's amazing how much of the joint assets can mysteriously disappear); taking every last item of his out of the house and putting it in suitcases in the garage; working out the grief and frustration with 3 hours at the gym each day while the girls are at school; documenting everything that could help her case; pouring her rage into the beginnings of a novel about a middle aged c-list actor leaving his wife for a mediocre young extra; leaning on a good therapist; preparing to take battle Ioan for a generous settlement and primary custody. If she still felt the need to badmouth him after the "I"s are dotted and the "T"s were finally crossed, she could have done it then, and probably come across as much more sane and compelling to all who heard.

I think it would be great if more wives who were deserted for younger women stood up and talked about it, said "ENOUGH!!!" instead of hiding away with their pain in order to be "dignified." However, sadly, Alice just gives credence to the (untrue) belief that betrayed wives who speak up about this are a bunch of bitter, unhinged harpies. She's just about the worst spokesperson that we could have for this genuinely important cause.
This would all be great if there was only one person at fault in this marriage and Alice was a perfect suffering angel married to a selfish abusive man. But that is way off what’s happening here.
 
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