In the last thread there were some posters uncomfortable with some of us 'diagnosing' AE, which I totally get, just my two cents worth.
It's not done out of a sense of knowing it all, more that there are a lot of us here who have personal experiences & we can't ignore certain behavioural traits which are intimately recognised. Altho' my experiences, whilst traumatic & scarring, are nowhere near as bad as most of the brave souls here who have shared their stories of survival.
I have personal experience of a Narc, (thankfully relatively short lived) being able to work out who this person was (after the fact) was illuminating. It didn't take away the huge damage/pain caused to me, but it was like finding the missing jigsaw piece. All boxes ticked. As it is with AE. Which is why I personally have no qualms about calling her a Narc. Altho' seeing the quotes from other posters about HPD/ASPD symptoms, AE certainly ticks a lot of boxes there too, but I assume someone is capable of having several PD's? (I don't think she's a psycho or a malignant Narc but IMO she
is a Narc.)
I experienced childhood emotional abuse (albeit unlike AE, it wasn't done deliberately) this created a co-dependency & my having to grow up way too fast in a loving but very dysfunctional unhealthy relationship which went on for way more years than I care to divulge. It's why I have such huge sympathy/empathy for the girls & the potential future problems they could face & big E in particular, as I know how very hard it can be to break away but what makes their situation a million times worse than mine is their 'mother' is a Narc who only ever truly cares about herself.
Because of my personal experiences I also have a lot of sympathy/empathy for IG as I know how it feels to keep trying for years, all while being abused, (mine wasn't in a nasty way but it was abuse & took me many years to come to terms with) & I understand about keep hanging in day after day while total despair takes you over, you're emotionally/mentally exhausted, until one day you realise you have nothing left to give, you're running on empty & you are done. When you reach that hellish point a very difficult & painful decision has to be made. You or them? Like me, IG chose to save himself. He had to for his sake & for the girls. I also understand about going NC. Never an easy decision especially with family, but I went NC with my only sibling years ago as I finally realised after too many years of shit & being hurt over & over again that they would never change because they didn't see anything wrong with their behaviour.
So apologies to those who get tired of seeing some of us label AE a Narc. I do totally get why but it's more that having experienced X or Y or Z, it's kind of hard to not speak out!
Gotta admit - I spent a few minutes looking at it from all angles to see if it was anyone I knew! It was actually pretty impressive. Then I got a "so sorry! Wrong number!" I texted back "that's okay dude." 
out.
face from me and I'd wonder how reliably useful to me their opinions really were.
No reaction is always the best reaction. The work continues... I am incredibly impressed by IG's steadfastness in not having contact with Alice nor reacting to her abusive behavior. That's true commitment to his safety and sanity right there.
