Ioan Gruffudd, Alice Evans & Bianca Wallace #175 Never mind, Alice. Keep your chins up!

[Feather fans]

To be fair my girls would not be all that comfortable with a man they don’t know, and would not want to sit in a car alone with one either. It’s ok to not feel comfortable around strangers. Especially when you know they are watching you or writing reports. I don’t see this as a giant red flag in isolation

My issue is as to why the poster put such emphasis on age. Not on the fact that E didnt know him, although E mentions that as a factor too, but she also mentioned age as a factor for being uncomfortable in the filing

 

[AnneinHever]

I hope I didn’t dream that Ma Gruff sent underwear to someone and they posted it here….that would be super weird and embarrassing
Maybe it wasn’t underwear? Omg 🥸

I remember it too

 

[Boring Monday]

Agree. My son is now thirteen and has decided he doesn’t want to see his dad anymore, after many many years of his dad behaving like a petulant, manipulative child himself and being a total bully. We dont have courts involved, luckily, and I’ve just let my boy decide he doesn’t want to see his dad for the foreseeable. I always think that if my son didn’t want to see me, I’d be devastated but I also wouldn’t want him to be forced/coerced into seeing me. That would be grim.
Ioan is in a very tricky spot though. No, Bianca shouldn’t have to go out for the day when the girls are there, but if I was the hated stepmum, I would. I’d leave and stay in a hotel or with friends and let the girls have time with their dad, with a view to meeting them at some stage when they’re ready. Ioan has chosen to enter a relationship and move in with her, not saying he should’ve remained a monk, but its
Up to him to do all he can to help the girls at the moment. They need at least one parent they can rely on.

But that’s the thing, isnt it? This is a situation that is being heavily and closely monitored by the courts and therapists. I really struggle to see that it would have just been sprung on them with no notice … surely doing that he lives himself open to being penalised by the court as much as anything?

 

[House of Tea]

I hate to say this but these kids will end up in reunification camps, which I'm not a fan of usually, but this is a very rare case where the alienation has nothing to do with an abusive father (they arent accusing him of anything even), but all to do with a warped worldview, imposed by their bitter mother.

What is a reunification camp?

 

[SusieTCones]

I took it to mean the dance lesson was an hour away timewise, so there was time to collect/buy the leotard?

Possibly, I didn’t think of that. He could have still called or texted Bianca to let her know they were coming.

 

[NarcRage]

Has the supporting declaration from Ella been filed for the RO against Ioan?

 

[Ametrine]

I thought it was about time Bianca got into the title. Alice will be fuming.

Can this only be a temporary thing, purely because then we have few characters to use to create thread titles

 

[Marj24]

I think the most damaging part is that Ella herself did not call the police.

It was Alice.

"It was Alice" was the tagline from a 70's movie Communion.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice,_Sweet_Alice X rated, I saw it in 1977 aged just 13 (eek) but it would probably be a rated 15 now.
ETA

Spoiler: Nearly 50 years old spoiler

It wasn't Alice

 

[M33L4]

Loopy giving the game away again.
According to Ella, it’s a court ordered over night. There is no evidence of this. Where did she think Bianca was going to go? It’s her apartment! Ioan gets a chaperone who isn’t Iris, to be there, possibly a therapist? The girls are upset on the way there according to Loopy because they know Bianca is there. Ask yourself, would Ioan put them all through that willingly? No.
Ella has got to the apartment, started recording and throwing food, but not for Alice, was she recording it for other reasons? To publish online?
Alice was unaware of this incident the whole time. Only trotting well after.
Ella calls Gloria who happens to get there quickly (?) but not before a young adult kicks off and hurts herself. Throwing the smelliest of food around. If I were Bianca I’d have opened the door for her, see ya later. It’s also witnessed by Iris? Not Gloria who wasn’t there until after the fact.
Some bullshit about Elsie’s friends dad and no explanation as to how Elsie left. One of the Twitter accounts started posting about this late Friday night.
Have I missed anything?

Trotting? Hahahaha
Reporting.

 

[SusieTCones]

I don't think Bianca was meant to be present, the dance class being cancelled brought them all back to the apartment earlier than they would have been. I believe that Ella behaved exactly as she's been coached in kicking off. I could be wrong but I really can't see Ioan just springing Bianca on them given the volatile aggressive nature of Ella.

Except that it was, according to Ella, meant to be an overnight visit. Bianca lives there (and pays rent, thankyouverymuch), so why wouldn’t she be there?

But if she was meant to be gone, Ella said the dance class was over an hour away from Elsie’s school. Presumably Ioan would have called Bianca on the way home to give her a heads up. She’d have had plenty of time to hightail it out of there.

 

[Lulugrace]

Watching a documentary about the Matusiewicz family called Web of Lies about a highly contentious custody battle and cyberstalking and I’m getting major Malice vibes. So scary.

Can I pleaee ask what channel is that on? I wonder if I can get it in the UK x

 

[lookatmekimmy]

I literally thought this was sarcasm initially because it’s just so, so bizarre lol. I don’t mean to be rude. I’m just really quite taken aback by this.

Adults? Choosing not to spend time around adults they don’t want to see? Fair enough, as long as they’re willing to be the one to dip out of social occasions.

but children? It’s absolutely not healthy or appropriate for a child to believe they have the final say in never spending time around people they don’t wish to. That would be quite unhelpful given that part of the process of childhood is learning how to be a grown up one day. And in life we ALL have to spend time around people we don’t really want to. We have to work alongside coworkers we dislike, play nice with in laws we can’t stand, make conversation with exes we share children with, and so forth. And it would be extremely destabilising for a child to feel as if they have such a say in very adult matters.

are you really suggesting that because Alice is abusive, Ioan must either choose to see his kids and live alone forever, or live with a partner and never have them at his home? (Not even taking into account the reality that not everyone can afford to live alone)?

it’s way healthier for kids to learn that adults get to decide on their own relationships and that although you don’t have to like someone, you do have to be civil and respectful to them. Speaking as someone who at Ella’s exact age gained a stepmother and a stepfather in one six month period, and because my parents weren’t dickheads about it quickly adjusted to it and was rightfully expected to behave with respect towards them.

of course Ella is the way she is right now because of Alice. Alice could have protected her children’s mental health and well-being and let her kids know that although relationships end, both parents love them just the same, and even if you don’t like dad’s new gf you still should give her a chance and be polite. If not for Alice there’s absolutely no reason why they couldn’t be co-parenting happily and the girls benefit from a positive relationship with another adult who loves them.

when Ella is an adult, living independently, sure. She can choose to ask to see her dad solo, if he’s okay with that. But as a child, no. She doesn’t get to dictate that she never breathes the same air as the person her father is literally living with. It’s sad that Alice is warping their view of relationships and love and change and strength and courage. This is all down to Alice, and I can’t imagine in any normal breakup with normal parents who prioritise their kid’s wellbeing that it would have gotten this bad. Alice should hang her head in shame that her child is now embroiled in the legal system and grieving her father but of course she’s delighted as she doesn’t care about anyone else but herself.

that’s by far the most disturbing part of all of this for me, I think. Not even ‘just’ the abuse she is meting out towards I and B, appalling as that is. But the fact we’ve all seen she has absolutely zero love or care or sense of protection over those kids and she’s engineered it so she’s all they have. She’s the one adult present in their lives now thanks to her machinations, and she doesn’t care about them one jot. She is throwing them under the bus to seek revenge and she honestly couldn’t give a fuck about the short and longterm damage she’s doing to them. She’s a monstrous excuse for a mother.

I can’t agree that children’s wishes are seen as less important than what adults want them to do. Adults have fully developed brains and still duck out of social occasions and avoid exes where possible and if they deem it best for their mental health. But a child wishing to do the same is just told to ignore how upsetting it is for them and do it anyway. Bizarre.

 

[MarshMallowMonster]

A chaperone is definitely sensible but this was an elderly man, for the girls potentially a very uncomfortable atmosphere.

I do think Ioan was trying to be sensible having a psychologist there, but him being an old man was a bit clumsy.

 

[Hellodolly26]

And where was this account in her documents about Bianca? Two totally different stories until she gets to the apartment. Where in Ioan’s petition she adds in the detail that Elsie left with her and that they ran to lose him. I wouldn’t let two kids that age run around LA by themselves either, so good on Ioan for jumping into his car to follow them, for their own safety.

Have I missed Ioan's response? Can you tell me the page number please and thank you for all you do.

 

[pommobear]

There's a thread on the site for mums about this. I've had to hide it as they just don't get it.

 

[willbiteback]

I do like that "tedious bitch" and threatening abandonment etc was fine but Ioan calling Ella manipulative (true) is severe abuse and a RO lmao

and dont forget Alice's insane harrassement of him, this was even more fine

Ioan must have been a huge pushover during their marriage

what do you suggest he does though? they were uncomfortable with a middle aged woman too

retired professionals often do this tbh. I wouldnt be suprised if he was 70, but so what?

I’m actually a bit concerned for the older gentleman, if he was the estimated age. If Ella had decided to take off while Elsie and Ioan were in the store, what could he have done? Still sprint much?

 

[Ally Pally]

I'm puzzled about Ioan and Bianca not being served yet, is it because no lawyer is acting for Ella yet?

 

[Irishwidz]

Janelle
Fooledagain
DAM Dontabuseminors
Imo AG isn’t Alice. It’s a crazy horse lady that rides polo. She loves the dead beat dad talk.

From @welp
Apocalypse
AG - the Christmas sock
Mitz

I think Fooledagain got blocked last night after being reported !

 

[lookatmekimmy]

When I was a child I didn't want to spend time with my dentist or some of the teachers at my school, does that mean I should have had my way?

Since when do children rule adults' lives?

I think there’s a balance between letting kids have everything their own way as in a mini dictator and listening to their legitimate concerns. Clearly Alice has caused awful damage and PA to the girls, but that doesn’t mean they should be meeting people they don’t want to, at least for the time being. They have to see teachers/medical professionals, this is clearly different. I love them as a couple but there’s always a chance that B might not stay with Ioan, for any number of reasons, and it’s really not imperative that the girls meet her yet.

 

[MarshMallowMonster]

I think the girls are both very damaged, it’s been an unstable and volatile few years for them, and everything under scrutiny too.