Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans #52 More projection than a silent movie theater

[CarrierPigeon]

Exactly. That "you have cancer" phone call made everything else bad in my life fade by comparison. I mean everything. I now say that's how I felt BC (before cancer) and AC (after cancer). I am a different woman than I was two and a half years ago.

Let me just add - try cancer treatment during covid! And my treatment could not be postponed. I am profoundly different.

That must’ve been pretty awful - especially during a pandemic. I hope you’re ok now and are able to live a happy and healthy life X

 

[SusanC]

I get completely where you're coming from. When I got on here and read some of the comments it felt like this had turned into a "fairy tale happily ever after for Queen B and IG" which felt a bit weird. I totally get why people felt so much sympathy for her, it's the first time we've really heard her talk and she spoke admirably about a debilitating ailment. Compared to Alice she looked almost saintly. But it is only one video, she's not sharing her side of the whole story, just explaining her reason for having a positive mindset. And just as we can't judge AE by one video we can't judge BW by one either, or IG if he ever makes one.

The issues are about infidelity, abuse, illness, children, it's complex. So it did feel a bit odd when things suddenly turned into the Bianca fan club, but I can understand why people were moved by her comments.

As far as cheating goes I blame any party involved. The married one made vows but the other knows that they're hurting another person by going along with it and I think that's pretty scummy. Now here we still don't know whether there was an affair or not, but as I said earlier, if I was in a relationship and realised that I wanted to leave (for whatever reason) I'd do that first and then move on. It doesn't take much time to say "it's over" and wait a little before jumping into someone else's bed. But obviously we're all different and have differing perspectives. If we didn't we'd all be clones, and if we're going to be clones can we at least all be thin, tall and beautiful, thank you

@KindnessMatters first, my comments yesterday about fibro and Alice were specific to Alice, not to fibro and anyone else. If she does have fibro, and it is bad enough to stop her getting out of bed to clean house, prep meals etc, I would not expect she'd be up half the night drinking and drunk tweeting. Bianca has had a diagnosis and is working on managing what she can to minimise the symptoms and stay functional as along as possible, If Alice also has a diagnosis she could do the same. Manage what she can to minimise the symptoms and stay functional. That's what I was getting at, not having a go at anyone else with fibro or any of the invisible illnesses.
Second, I have not been willing to draw any conclusions about Bianca because we just don't know much. The vid has filled in some of the blanks and I agree that she seems to be a much more positive and mature and calm person than Alice. Any/all of those things would make her a life raft for Ioan.
Third, I am unwilling to judge Ioan too hard for any affair he may have had with Bianca before he split from Alice because he did tell Alice repeatedly for some years that he was unhappy, he was specific as to what he wanted her to change (reasonable requests) and he stuck with the marriage through counselling in late 2020. Perhaps if Alice had changed in late 2020, the marriage might have been saved. But she did not and at some point all bets were off. My first marriage ended like that (no infidelity) because in the end I was nearly suicidal and something had to give and I was damned sure it wasn't going to be me head-on into a truck.

 

[Bridgeofsighs]

The "rumour" that she was banned from the set of Fantastic Four is one that has circulated for a long time. I'm not saying he might not have other reasons, but perhaps one was knowing how unhinged AE was and what would be expected of him.

Wow. Another red flag and he still married her.

 

[KikiFromNy]

You won't actually have to go very far at all if he does it after 29th Jan!

Just send me those GPS cooridinates. If necessary. I haven't kicked butt on any nephew- in-laws in a bit but I need to keep my hand in.

 

[Perplexity]

Wow, it's not every day you see an actor talk to the press about the hunger for fame. Usually it's "all about the work".

The thing is, with a lot of British actors they absolutely have the luxury to say “it’s about the work not the money” because so so many of them come from money and privilege. It’s a difficult profession to make it in without a cushion to fall back on. Damien Lewis has been referenced here in comparison to IG and he comes from an incredibly privileged and wealthy background, he’s related to a Viscount and was privately educated at Eton etc etc.

 

[Bridgeofsighs]

Do we have any details of when they started? I am interested in this very much. I've had panic attacks on and off all my life, so I'm really interested to know when his panic attacks started.

He was quoted by an Australian magazine about it so definitely it was a thing when he was over there.

 

[Perplexity]

Wow. Another red flag and he still married her.

Wow. Victim blaming again

 

[Caitlyn130]

Just send me those GPS cooridinates. If necessary. I haven't kicked butt on any nephew- in-laws in a bit but I need to keep my hand in.

We're going to be in the Financial District for a while, and I have no clue what that will be like! But we got lucky with a family member's empty apartment so we're taking it!

 

[Endora]

Omg I do that when we watch TV too! Or I'll Google - "this is the entire story of who this actor really is..." I'm trying to stop doing that.

I do it when I'm watching TV with my elderly mother. "She's the one who was married to that guy in the show about the detective, but they got divorced and now he just had a baby with that woman on the show about a nail salon." She's profoundly hard of hearing, and I get a lot of uh huh, uh huh, while she carries on reading the captions and pretty much ignores my TMI compulsion.

 

[veevee04]

I was diagnosed with an incurable neurological condition at the age of 24 not the same as BWsand not deadly but life changing.

My partner abandoned me with our 3 year old and cheated it definitely hurt a lot more than the actually being diagnosed with the condition. We actually reconciled about a year later I'm under treatment but that feeling of possibly being abandoned when/ if I relapse , being useless doesn't leave you. He's done a lot of making up and I've done some awful things back . I never told my family what happened because I believe marital problems are personal or alienated my daughter against him as he's her father and it would hurt them both. Humans aren't perfect we all make mistakes life is just a jumbled up mess.

I hope AE one day can find it in her heart to let go of the bitterness and get on and have a fabulous life co-parenting with her girls. I still hope nearly a year later ! I hope she doesn't come back on twitter not that I'm holding my breath.

Bitterness only makes us feel hopeless , life only moves forward when you choose too.

 

[SusanC]

I get completely where you're coming from. When I got on here and read some of the comments it felt like this had turned into a "fairy tale happily ever after for Queen B and IG" which felt a bit weird. I totally get why people felt so much sympathy for her, it's the first time we've really heard her talk and she spoke admirably about a debilitating ailment. Compared to Alice she looked almost saintly. But it is only one video, she's not sharing her side of the whole story, just explaining her reason for having a positive mindset. And just as we can't judge AE by one video we can't judge BW by one either, or IG if he ever makes one.

The issues are about infidelity, abuse, illness, children, it's complex. So it did feel a bit odd when things suddenly turned into the Bianca fan club, but I can understand why people were moved by her comments.

As far as cheating goes I blame any party involved. The married one made vows but the other knows that they're hurting another person by going along with it and I think that's pretty scummy. Now here we still don't know whether there was an affair or not, but as I said earlier, if I was in a relationship and realised that I wanted to leave (for whatever reason) I'd do that first and then move on. It doesn't take much time to say "it's over" and wait a little before jumping into someone else's bed. But obviously we're all different and have differing perspectives. If we didn't we'd all be clones, and if we're going to be clones can we at least all be thin, tall and beautiful, thank you

@Caitlyn130 and @KindnessMatters I would also add that to me the issues are abuse and children. Infidelity and illness only became issues because of the abuse and the children.
Abuse is never Ok. If Alice had not been abusing Ioan (for years and in public) then his infidelity (real or presumed) would be a much bigger factor and I would be judging him much more harshly for it. But he was being abused and he stayed and put up with the abuse for the children.
Bianca's illness only becomes a factor in terms of showing his character. That he repartnered with someone who has been through such a life changing health crisis and has a debilitating illness to live with.
That's my analysis for what its worth.

 

[CarrierPigeon]

Have been sat on my hands all morning with my mother's voice whispering in my ear 'if you can't say something nice, then say nothing at all.'

But I've decided to say something and will be in a total minority here and am prepared to be shouted down or to walk away from here.

I won't go into my personal story here, but I'd just like to say that it has taken me many years to find my voice and I am still practising so please bear with me.

I am really sorry that Bianca is living with MS. I have people in my life who have it and many years post diagnosis they are well and living full and active lives. It is not the death sentence it once was and the prognosis is very good. Diet, exercise and lifestyle choices help to keep the people I know healthy and well.

I guess my problem with Bianca is from a moral judgement point of view and I am also including Ioan in this view. As Welp says above, she is not convinced of the nature of how their relationship came to be. We have no evidence of timelines either way and this is what plays on my mind. If Bianca knowingly had an affair with a married man, then in my mind that is really crappy behaviour and her diagnosis of MS does not give her a 'get out of jail free' card. I can have sympathy for her diagnosis, but I can also still say that her behaviour is appalling and totally crappy. Just as I can have sympathy for Alice because Ioan cheated on her but can also think her behaviour over the last year has been cruel and undignified.

I think the part that doesn't sit well with me about Bianca's behaviour is my ability to put myself in another person's shoes and feel the consequences of her behaviour. Before I continue, I will just state that if I find evidence she is totally innocent then I will apologise to all and sundry. I know myself well enough to know I could not be magnanimous to another women if she had an affair with my husband even if she did have a medical condition. I would definitely leave my husband if I found out and I know I would act with more dignity than Alice but I could not accept the situation just because the woman had a medical condition. I like to think I am pretty evolved but I aint that evolved, I have limits.

The other thing that I feel really uncomfortable about is Bianca's video about her condition. Despite trying to portray a message of 'positivity,' I got an undercurrent of 'poor me.' Poor me, this is what I deal with and leave me alone Alice and those that dislike me.

I am a lot older than Bianca and maybe it's a generational thing but I don't get the whole sharing your life on social media stuff. If you are a big movie star then yes, people have always loved looking into the lives of the rich and famous. I used to love looking at magazines with a relative, at the pictures and write ups of Hollywood stars, you dreamed, you aspired and it was escapism. But Bianca is or was an accountant who had done some 'extra' type work on a series, she is not a movie star. I do have an instagram account but it is private for my family and friends so we can share family and friends photos with each other. There is no need for anyone else to see them, they are private and we are private.

Some may say that Bianca is inspirational and I can see why they would say that. She was diagnosed with a medical condition and decided to make some life changes. I guess for me, I'm more an action kind of gal than a word one. I don't tell people about my achievements, words are cheap and plentiful, actions require hard work and speak from themselves.

I lost a very dear person a few months ago. I have known them for over 20 years. I didn't know until the end of their life that they were dying of cancer. They had been fighting it for 6 years. This very dear person was an action kind of person. I found out that once they had received their diagnosis they chose to keep it quiet. They didn't want sympathy, they didn't want to appear to be a victim. They took the treatment, they took the medication and the only people who knew were the people who were treating them. They raised over a million pounds for charity in those 6 years from diagnosis to death. Their focus was on service, on what little life they had left and how they could use it to serve others.

I could easily understand if they had gone into self pity mode and would have willingly comforted them in that place. But they chose dignity and service of others as their legacy. And that is how I will remember them.

Experience had taught me that actions speak so much louder than words. Yes, a wonderful piece of prose will transport me but actions will either earn my respect or disdain. Bianca's actions to date have not earned my respect. Knowingly choosing to have an affair with a married man to me is disdainful. You are choosing to hurt another human being with your actions.

You can rationalise your actions by telling yourself the recipient isn't a nice person or that they deserve the consequences of your actions. But do they? As evolved human beings with some semblance of emotional intelligence can we really say that the values that form out moral compass are dependent on other's behaviours? I despise violence unless you support another football team, then my violence towards you is justified. Are we so easily swayed? I'd like to think I wasn't.

I place high value on fidelity. It is important to me. If you want to be unfaithful then leave your current relationship, there are no exceptions. It will cause hurt, it will cause pain but it is about respect for the other person. You owe that other person respect not humilation.

Bianca chose to cause hurt to another human being because she considered her needs were more important than the person she chose to hurt. Her actions were not about service of others, her actions were and are about service to self.

All three parties is this sordid tale have questionable behavoiurs and as I've said before, Alice shouts the loudest and gets the most attention. Just because you shout the loudest doesn't necessarily mean you are the worst. More damage is often done in the darkness of the night than in glare of the sun.

I get what you’re saying, but I think that Ioan’s marriage was dead in the water long before Bianca came along. Also Bianca owes no one an explanation, she wasn’t the one who was married.
I think also if Bianca was using the ‘poor me’ bit, she would’ve done this when Alice and her cronies were in full slander mode, I think she’s done remarkably well and shown such resilience especially as this whole public bulling by Alice & co. affects her MS so much. Hats off to her and her positivity, she’s a better person than I am!

 

[mickeycat]

I do it when I'm watching TV with my elderly mother. "She's the one who was married to that guy in the show about the detective, but they got divorced and now he just had a baby with that woman on the show about a nail salon." She's profoundly hard of hearing, and I get a lot of uh huh, uh huh, while she carries on reading the captions and pretty much ignores my TMI compulsion.

I end up missing most of thr film as I've disappeared down an online rabbit hole about one of the minor actors. Historical ones are the worst as I end up on a Wikipedia chain, 20 pages on from where I started "just to check if my memory is right about how it really happened".

 

[Just William]

I know someone better equipped will be along, but basically BW posted an Insta vid (it is on here) about the last few months, mainly about her diagnosis, which is quite serious and how she copes/comes to terms with things . Much analysis and debate follows (on here). You need to see the vid, really

Thanks for taking the time to share. I have seen it now.

 

[Bastion]

Fame and money were definitely major motivations for Ioan. He didn't enjoy his time at RADA and only got a lead role in his final year. In a 2002 interview, he talked about Titanic and how he wanted to be Leonardo.
Mad about the boyo | Film | The Guardian
'Even though it was miserable and took so much time, the pay-off is so incredible. I was only playing a very small part - I wanted to be Leonardo DiCaprio, you know, in my own blockbuster. That's the quest I'm on. It made me more hungry. I hope that everything is a means to that. I'm not embarrassed to admit that that is an ambition. And why not? Twenty million a shot? Yeah, thank you very much." He has no time for actors who say wealth and integrity don't mix. They are self-deceived, he thinks. "People say, 'Oooh, money, it doesn't make you happy.' But because I feel quite happy at the moment, money would be a nice little bonus. To people who say it'll make you miserable, I say 'bollocks'. As long as you understand that you find happiness in real terms through family, friends and love, then money is just a nice bonus.'
'I just knew I wanted to do this forever' - Independent.ie
'Looking back," says Gruffudd of his seven years on the soap, "I was an awful actor, but I just knew I wanted to do this forever and I was happy to learn it as a craft and go to Rada and do everything I could to improve myself. And, you know, even then I imagined myself as a movie star and saw myself sitting in a house in Hollywood and gallivanting with the stars. So when I'd trained and established myself, I realised the dream was still there and I put up my hands and admitted that I wanted to pursue it'

That interview is 20 years old!! I'd imagine many life experiences since 2002 will have changed his opinions on fame. I would hate for people to think any comments I made 20 years ago are written in stone from that point on.

 

[Endora]

The thing is, with a lot of British actors they absolutely have the luxury to say “it’s about the work not the money” because so so many of them come from money and privilege. It’s a difficult profession to make it in without a cushion to fall back on. Damien Lewis has been referenced here in comparison to IG and he comes from an incredibly privileged and wealthy background, he’s related to a Viscount and was privately educated at Eton etc etc.

Yes, I've read about the 'posh performer' issue. Seems to be the acting branch of the Old Boys' Club. There's plenty of networking that occurs in Hollywood, but your educational background seems to matter less here than who you know and in some of the sleazier circles, what you're willing to do.

 

[Bridgeofsighs]

Wow. Victim blaming again

I and lots of people on his website in the early 2000s who knew about AE wondered why he married her. I'm guessing his parents did too as it seems they never got on with AE. It's not victim blaming to see pitfalls ahead when the signs are obvious to an objective outsider with no emotional attachment to AE. He, however, was emotionally attached and I bet in hindsight he can see now what we saw then.

He lives and learns as most of us do.

 

[TicTacToc]

@TicTacToc Nordic?

Spanish!

 

[SusanC]

I agree with this and acknowledged it in a previous post. My issue is, why cheat at all? Why not "There are so many things you can do to fix a relationship before cheating ending it"? I'm not specifically talking about abuse or what may or may not have happened in BW/IG's case - I just don't see what the issue is in having the respect to say 'it's over' before moving on to something new.

Anyway, I guess we all have different opinions on this so I won't argue the point any more. I'm still surprised that so many people think cheating is NBD, and that it's my lack of life experience that makes me feel that it is, but that's on me to deal with.

I see it as he did tell her he was unhappy, he did tell her what needed to be changed, he did make it clear it was affecting their relationship (she has admitted all this in 1 way or another) and she did not take any of it on board. Over about 4 years.
I do think cheating is a big deal, it strikes to the heart of the marriage BUT if the marriage was already running on empty and wheels falling off each corner, infidelity should not get the blame.

 

[Caitlyn130]

I see it as he did tell her he was unhappy, he did tell her what needed to be changed, he did make it clear it was affecting their relationship (she has admitted all this in 1 way or another) and she did not take any of it on board. Over about 4 years.
I do think cheating is a big deal, it strikes to the heart of the marriage BUT if the marriage was already running on empty and wheels falling off each corner, infidelity should not get the blame.

Yes I think it's crystal clear than in this case no matter how wrong I or any others think cheating is, it certainly wasn't what ended the marriage.