Wishing you a speedy recovery!
Wishing you a speedy recovery!I’ve had 3 doses. I am hoping I am lucky
To me, I think the whole issue with when the relationship started or didn't start is to try and get an understanding of what kind of person BW is. Is Ioan going from Alice to the complete opposite of Alice where he will find peace and happiness at last or is he just jumping from the frying pan into the fire with her? obviously, in hindsight, there were many, many, many red flags that he missed about WHO Alice was, and should he really be jumping so quickly into another relationship? As I have said before, those friends and family members of mine who were involved with a narc and left, have NO desire to jump quickly into another relationship as they needed the time to mentally and emotionally heal from the abuse they put up with for so long and examine why they were attracted to that type of person in the first place. Because we have so little info to go on, we don't know what to make of BW yet.It's so difficult because all we're really going on is what Alice says. And we don't know what he went through in the marriage or his mental state towards the end. So I'm not in any position to judge him for his actions whatever they may have been. But even without that there's still lots that feels off to me.
My reason for considering it was really just to get more of a picture of the entire situation. Not to use it to demonise anyone involved. The timeline of their relationship does change things and I think it is important. For example, from the kids' perspective: if their dad has been with someone for 1 year or more and now introducing them to the kids as someone who will be in their lives long term, that's a very different situation to him being single for a few months after the divorce was filed and then dating someone for a few weeks. So I was just trying to get a sense of which it is.To me, I think the whole issue with when the relationship started or didn't start is to try and get an understanding of what kind of person BW is. Is Ioan going from Alice to the complete opposite of Alice where he will find peace and happiness at last or is he just jumping from the frying pan into the fire with her? obviously, in hindsight, there were many, many, many red flags that he missed about WHO Alice was, and should he really be jumping so quickly into another relationship? As I have said before, those friends and family members of mine who were involved with a narc and left, have NO desire to jump quickly into another relationship as they needed the time to mentally and emotionally heal from the abuse they put up with for so long and examine why they were attracted to that type of person in the first place. Because we have so little info to go on, we don't know what to make of BW yet.
I think the point of posting Alice’s words about her step-sister was to show that SHE MAKES EVERYTHING ABOUT HER. Honest? She barely knew the girl. It was a narc’s way of making it hurt that girl’s parents as much as possible.Why bring that up.. I have decided now i am far from being on anyone's team as some of AE's tweets are awful BUT tbh i think it serves no purpose to dredge through posts from years back for 'evidence'. Posts like this make me feel very uncomfortable. If you go digging far enough you will find all sorts in anyone's history. I actually don't think AE did anything wrong in that post. Yes maybe she referenced her own pain but i think she was being honest. This is feeling like a witch hunt. I will not defend AE's behaviour but some posts i think go a bit too far. I don't want the poster here to feel attacked. That is not my intention. I'm just playing devils advocate here in the interests of fairness.
Also i really dislike Bianca putting up that video of bubba bear. I love animals but ffs it is vomit inducing plus her liking stuff on twitter that is clearly going to try and inflame things re narcissists. Bianca is being very subtle but i can see her manipulation clearly. I definitely think she has her people/friends on here. I do feel like another poster said earlier, a certain anger against certain behaviours and tweets but also then feel bad for feeling that way. So i have mixed feelings. I don't say much but i feel like there comes a point when i have to say ah this is going a step too far and several posts have made me feel that way. I just have to say my piece in the interests of fairness. I hope others can respect that and not take this as a personal attack...#ducksandhides
Do you think longer as in before August but after January when he told Alice he was divorcing her, or prior to January when he was *allegedly* staying at the house and taunting Alice with his 'maybe, maybe not' charade? Or prior to even late summer 2020? I can't remember if you've stated this before, sorry.as for whether they've been involved longer, I think that's likely based on logic and circumstantial evidence (not going to lay this all out again lol). I'm 95 % sure.
However, it's not certain. I know many people who meet people online, already consider themselve a couple while online dating for a few weeks, met up and then quite quickly move together. If they already know each other before this as friends like them this scenario works even better. I wouldnt dismiss it strongly, but I find it unlikely and his (alleged!) desire to introduce the kids to her in the not so distant future wouldnt reflect well on him with this timeline.
Take care Plinky. I got it after 2 doses and it was rough enough, but I do have a lot of underlying issues. Hoping and keeping all appendages crossed that you will get off lightlyI’ve had 3 doses. I am hoping I am lucky
I’ve moved in with a guy quickly twice. First time I was in a bad space mentally and ended up in a relationship with an abusive narc and things just went from bad to worse once living together. Second time I was a bit more wary and thought oh no here we go again. But parents wanted me to move back out and he was looking for a new place too (had been living with an ex previously) but ten years later we are still together so guess that one worked out better!I get completely what you're saying without you saying more
I mean, even if he did cheat, so we have to credit her that, no big deal really because it doesn't undo any of the absolutely abhorrent stuff she's said about people that aren't even him. So I know if in the end ( for me personally) if we found out he physically cheated as well or whatever, we can say to ourselves " yeah that sucks/ wasn't the "right move" towards Alice" but we know what all she's done, so...
But in their defense ( only saying this from personal experience) I moved out with a guy in less than a month ( granted, MAJOR issues at home, was desperate to feel seen and cared about blah blah) so things can move quick especially if people are in iffy spaces. LIKEWISE they can also take off quick even if both people are emotionally healthy as well. So I guess we just don't know till we know.
Moving out with a guy in a month though? Horrible decision btw. 10/10 don't recommend
This is so true. No one's perfect, we all have flaws. Cheating is obviously wrong but like you, I certainly don't think that alone defines a person. Although I may be biased because one of my colleagues is like that. Lovely guy, will do anything for anyone, sends money he hasn't got to help various charities etc, but he's terrible with money and he's terrible with women. He's messed up every relationship he's had.Well, to be fair most people cheat or are involved in somebody cheating on. I dont think this alone defines a human all that much, even if it's obviously not a good thing.
In the end I think what counts more is how many flaws and good traits a person has, rather than just that one big flaw.
I cant judge Bianca at all, I just know too little of her. What I see is a mixed bag so far. in fact I cant judge Ioan either despite him being famous, and Alice we can only judge because she is making it too easy to judge her
I am starting to wonder (and fear) if Ioan is unsafe by escaping one severely toxic relationship and almost immediately entering another. I don't have any personal qualms with BW right now; she presents herself in a charming, collected, and patient manner. And, despite the reality that the inside of the book might betray the cover of the book, idk, right now I'm alright, and we'll see how that progresses. Nevertheless, she could be bottled sunshine itself (and very well might be), but I would maintain my concern for Ioan's mental health. It isn't a dig, just a worry.
I believe Ena Sharples wonderfully worded their encouragement that Ioan spend some time livin' the single life for a bit. In my opinion, maybe meeting up with his therapist—a space where he can examine the ways in which he was emotionally denied what belonged to him to feel, and really work on untangling any complex trauma responses and such—practicing mindfulness techniques, maybe trying out some meditation, etc. you know, you know.
I took way too much gabapentin this morning but the mellowness I am feeling is ace so everything is fine, I hope I am making sense here because right now I feel like I'm sinking from chin to forehead in a bubbling jacuzzi.
Anyway y'all know by now that I always have Arabic proverbs & general quotes in my noggin but sometimes they spill out and I hope that's alright, considering we're gettin' all beautifully profound with our quotes up in this thread.
This is one of my fave sayings and I wish it could speak to Ioan about the potential need to take a step back first and determine what it is his spirit—the unbreakable entity— actually yearns for, and maybe perhaps to remember that the good love can hold on for a sec if it needs to, it is a patient creature:
"What is meant for you, will reach you even if it is beneath two mountains.
And what isn't meant for you, won't reach you even if it is between your two lips."
I wish Ioan walked slowly. Unlocked the part of him where he's hidden the worst strife and taken a look at that with a professional healer (whom I call therapists & counselors lol). He might need to be alone, who knows? He might need to unravel a bit. Recover, so very carefully. Reclaim first what he needs for Ioan, and then find the rest of what he needs in someone else.
Sorry for babbling I am like literally melting into myself.
PS: Marhaba ("Hi"), Alice, I know this lil sentiment that goes: "The soul of a fool is always dancing on the tip of his tongue."
Or, maybe this one, friend: "One who cooks poison, tastes it." Bon Appétit
I'm also conflicted about this relationship. I would have thought he would take a longer timeout to recover from the nightmare that is mAlice. She constantly whines about 20 years together, blah, blah, blah, but it was also 20 years of his life, not just hers. Nothing wrong with a fling now that he's single again (yes, Alice, he is!), but making commitments before he has his divorce sorted out and re-established a good relationship with his children is not a good idea. A long distance relationship can be a real test of whether it's the real deal or not, and nowadays with Facetime, etc., it's easy to stay in touch. Why couldn't Bianca stay in Oz for a while and give him some space to deal with everything?Thanks for saying that out loud, I was thinking her behaviour was passive aggressive too in liking those quotes. I’m not sure if she was behind the wording of their ‘big reveal’ photo but that felt PA and underhand too.
I hope Ioan hasn’t gone out of the frying pan into the fire with this one. My bad gut feeling about her just won’t go away.
In some respects Alice’s in your face behaviour is easier to deal with because it’s so obvious what she’s doing. PA behaviour is harder to pin point but equally insidious. If you’ve never been on the receiving end of it it’s really hard to explain other than it’s an accumulation of small ‘emotionally immature/stunted’ behaviours that are easily deniable.
Ioan would be much better placed being on his own for a while and getting help for his issues before embarking on another relationship. I think if he did, his choice of partner would be very, very different.
I think he knows her since 2018/19 and was already involved with her romantically and/or sexually by early 2020 but didnt had intentions to leave his marriage till summer 2020 (Alice was cray cray all summer and ended up letting it out on him in public, I'm convinced that broke the camels back, especially since he then got to meet BW again right after this). I dont think she was his first affair, but the first that happened to be at the same time as his marriage struggling sufficiently.Do you think longer as in before August but after January when he told Alice he was divorcing her, or prior to January when he was *allegedly* staying at the house and taunting Alice with his 'maybe, maybe not' charade? Or prior to even late summer 2020? I can't remember if you've stated this before, sorry.
Imagine BW posting she's craving Salad Cream...can only mean one thing!I'm just a bit ahead of you! I watched Titanic the other day and started craving Salad Cream the other day too. Luckily that's passed!
I just wanted to point out that while “some” of Alice’s tweets are “awful,” the ones where she calls people slits, accuses her husband of being a pedalo, tells her daughters that their dad is leaving them, accuses IG and three other cast members of using cocaine with the production company’s knowledge, trying to dig up information to ruin people’s jobs, lives, etc. - those tweets are HORRIBLE. There is nothing to defend.Why bring that up.. I have decided now i am far from being on anyone's team as some of AE's tweets are awful BUT tbh i think it serves no purpose to dredge through posts from years back for 'evidence'. Posts like this make me feel very uncomfortable. If you go digging far enough you will find all sorts in anyone's history. I actually don't think AE did anything wrong in that post. Yes maybe she referenced her own pain but i think she was being honest. This is feeling like a witch hunt. I will not defend AE's behaviour but some posts i think go a bit too far. I don't want the poster here to feel attacked. That is not my intention. I'm just playing devils advocate here in the interests of fairness.
Also i really dislike Bianca putting up that video of bubba bear. I love animals but ffs it is vomit inducing plus her liking stuff on twitter that is clearly going to try and inflame things re narcissists. Bianca is being very subtle but i can see her manipulation clearly. I definitely think she has her people/friends on here. I do feel like another poster said earlier, a certain anger against certain behaviours and tweets but also then feel bad for feeling that way. So i have mixed feelings. I don't say much but i feel like there comes a point when i have to say ah this is going a step too far and several posts have made me feel that way. I just have to say my piece in the interests of fairness. I hope others can respect that and not take this as a personal attack...#ducksandhides
I think the same on the timeline, though I do think that he was already looking for a way out of his marriage even before he met BW. By the time he was in a relationship with her, there was no need to rock the boat because he was away for months at a time and knew he would be going back for months at a time and he probably would have continued with that arrangement had Harrow not ended, as much as anything because he needed AE to look after the children. As an aside, BW's friend, Amy was the wardrobe assistant for the extras on the first season of Harrow, I've wondered if she didn't get BW the job on Harrow, or perhaps BW just manifested itI think he knows her since 2018/19 and was already involved with her romantically and/or sexually by early 2020 but didnt had intentions to leave his marriage till summer 2020 (Alice was cray cray all summer and ended up letting it out on him in public, I'm convinced that broke the camels back, especially since he then got to meet BW again right after this). I dont think she was his first affair, but the first that happened to be at the same time as his marriage struggling sufficiently.
But that's just what I find most likely, I could be totally wrong.
I wish I could manifest myself a good job, a good looking guy, good health and a million dollars! I wish manifesting did workI've wondered if she didn't get BW the job on Harrow, or perhaps BW just manifested it
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