@Kitti
I thought I would help you out a little
Ok so being fixated on finding out the truth is in part, a natural process of grieving and coming to terms with deceit.
Unfortunately there is a balance where it can become an unhelpful coping mechanism to remain focussed and fixated on your ex partner and asking questions that you can never answer, therefore it becomes an obsession and you become stuck in time unable to move on. This is not good for you, it’s emotionally damaging and almost like a form of self harm.
A liar lies for a reason, and a real liar will be so ashamed of being caught out they will run away from the truth and never answer your questions. They won’t be able to put you first as they have discarded you and don’t value you anymore
The more you go chasing after the person who devalued you, the more obsessed you become with forcing them to admit the truth. It consumes you. It’s preventing you from truly moving on. I would say kindly that anything that becomes an obsession you should seek help for.
‘The truth’ eventually means nothing to you because you won’t be able to believe what you hear, you can’t accept it because it doesn’t fit with what you have convinced yourself of. Also it’s disappointing - it doesn’t make you feel better. It doesn’t change anything.
Don’t go chasing the truth, it won’t help You. If you are displaying worrying obsessive behaviours it’s because you are not coping with the situation you found yourself in. If you are not careful this could go too far and become very bad for your mental health, like Alice, who is running the real risk of jail as time goes on