Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans #180 Alice has the saggy muff, Bianca has the handsome Gruff.

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@ButterTart I honestly believe that Ella no longer has any trust in IG, mainly at the hands of Alice and this is why she treats him with such contempt. Their custody case is coming up so Ella and Elsie will be being told by Alice that all these bad things are about to happen to them - they will be forced to live with I & B, iris will be controlling them etc etc. Ella and Elsie are afraid of what’s happening to them, this is why they are sabotaging everything in such a dramatic fashion as it’s being fed to them night and day daddy has ruined their lives. This is emotional torture, imagine living with it? You would begin to believe it. Anyone who has ever lived through DV knows fully well you do start to believe all the things your abuser says. You believe you are fat/worthless/unloveable because you hear it every day. These kids are isolated from anyone who poses a threat to Alice’s narrative so they are intensely exposed to the PA for 2-3 years now. They are the definition of brainwashed. This isn’t just stress about your parents being annoying or having to move house this woman has conducted an evil campaign of emotional terrorism onto her children in public. I’ve had a stressed child and she did act out terribly at times I was at my wits end but I did what Ioan is doing and just kept loving her and she grew out of it. He isn’t going to be this lucky with his girls
 
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Ella has watched her father be verbally and physically berated and abused for twelve years. It was his presence that made her feel remotely safe: when he left - as he needed to - she was at the mercy of Malice.
When you grow up in a very verbally (and often physically) violent environment, as I did and as Ella has, abuse becomes normal for you, everyday and blah. You think everyone else lives like this, in a fight or flight state of being all your waking hours. It is only when you get to participate in other people’s family lives that you realise your living situation is a nightmare and you need a lot of help. As it is, without counselling, she could end up in emotionally and physically unstable relationships with those who prey on vulnerability and self-loathing, seeing themselves as the site of all the trauma (as I did). Now, factor into that the fact that Ella has been living alone with Alice 24/7 for an entire year while apparently being ‘homeschooled’ (ha). Imagine living around someone who is a complete narcissist, an addict, a troublemaker, a liar, gaslighter and fantasist - and for her to be your sole reference point outside your murky world of social media and Discord servers. It’s like being in a hostage situation, and Ella is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. She’s directly parroting her mother’s words and actions - her self has been so effectively ground down that I doubt she has much identity left beyond Mother’s Little Helper (and man of the house in lieu of her father). She’s brainwashed as hell, she’s acting off the orders of a psychopath, and she is so terribly young, with all the drama and misery that entails.
I’m not excusing her behaviour, which has been absolutely Godawful and atrocious. I’m saying that she’s the narcissist’s extension, the proxy to be deployed against all those Alice perceived as having wronged her.
I agree with the Stockholm syndrome comment - like all abusers mAlice has systematically isolated Ella from outside influences that would demonstrate or point out that her life and behaviours are not normal. It's not only her father but all family apart from Alcotone seem to have been cut off by mAlice. She doesn't even get to go to school anymore - does Ella even have any real life friends? Does she do any activities outside the home?

I worry about Ella's mental health in all of this. It's one thing to cook up a story with your angry and emmeshed mum but another to go to court and give evidence and to be questioned by a judge and possibly to be cross examined on the witness stand by experienced defence lawyers. What she herself has admitted to doing in her own statement shows her to be the instigator of the incident and to have committed vandalism/criminal damage and assault and then run away laughing. She doesn't seem to understand that this is not normal behaviour.
 
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Try to remember youre talking about a child - and one who has suffered years of abuse.
Agreed. I’m horrified by some of the language being used about an abused child. Whether she’s a ‘quarterback’ (great to know that those of us who are 5’10” and grew tall early are not only never ‘cutesy’, but masculine in appearance en masse) or not, she’s only 13. Her brain is still developing and refolding, shedding childhood detritus. She lives in an isolated, abusive, verbally violent, unstructured and unsafe environment. Her narc addict “mother” actively encourages her to hate and attack the father she loved so dearly by telling her she can “duck off” if she isn’t on side. I repeat, this is an abused child. IG is very clear that this is how he sees his daughter and wants to get her the help she needs in order to not be permanently damaged. A child who doesn’t deserve any of this. People have got to stop thinking that height = maturity. Newsflash: it doesn’t.
 
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And there are still people on twitter saying Ella’s account appears to be more realistic than Ioan’s. Baffling.
 
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Just imagine what she's like in real life. Now imagine living with her. Now imagine she's your mother, and her having power over you, and you're too young to get away.
And imagine you feel responsible for keeping your mother alive, because I have no doubt in my mind that Alice has threatened all sorts.
 
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That smirk on the pap shots was unnerving.
It was rightly called Duper's Delight on here.

The reality is that Alice is circling the drain and taking the 2 kids down with her.

We know that the CPS are involved. This will be a very unusual case as they mainly deal with lower income people. However, I hope they bleeping do something. Ioan's insurance should cover residential treatment for Ella. Both kids need to be fostered right now. It's not safe for I and B to have them.
 
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TBF if you want to turn the entire British public against you, be mean to a dog. There's a reason Battersea has more money than it knows what to do with.

Disclaimer: I am not a dog person. At all. I am a cat person. I would never be cruel to a dog nor want anyone else to be cruel to a dog, but to me the fact they pushed the dog away with their feet is not the thing that stands out to me as the most troubling part of this whole bin fire. I adore my cats but I'm forever shoving them out of the way with my feet, or I'd fall over them and break my neck.
 
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I agree with the Stockholm syndrome comment - like all abusers mAlice has systematically isolated Ella from outside influences that would demonstrate or point out that her life and behaviours are not normal. It's not only her father but all family apart from Alcotone seem to have been cut off by mAlice. She doesn't even get to go to school anymore - does Ella even have any real life friends? Does she do any activities outside the home?

I worry about Ella's mental health in all of this. It's one thing to cook up a story with your angry and emmeshed mum but another to go to court and give evidence and to be questioned by a judge and possibly to be cross examined on the witness stand by experienced defence lawyers. What she herself has admitted to doing in her own statement shows her to be the instigator of the incident and to have committed vandalism/criminal damage and assault and then run away laughing. She doesn't seem to understand that this is not normal behaviour.
I agree this child and possibly the other one seems to have a serious version of Stockholm type, cult style brainwashing inflicted on her
 
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I am not giving Ella a pass but the abuse went on for much longer than this. As Ioan said in his declaration "Alice has verbally abused and undermined me in front of the girls throughout their lives." The girls see abusive relationships as normal. DV has a terrible affect on kids even if they just witness it and are not directly abused themselves.

I wish IG had left WAY earlier. Even better, never married the megacunt!!
I seems such a normal person. It makes wonder. Did she drug him for 20 years and when he sobered up realized what he had done?
 
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in the UK children are too often returned to both emotionally and physically abusive parents.
Not deliberately. The newspapers have a field day when that happens and the child is killed by the parents. Councils don't want those kind of headlines.
 
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It was rightly called Duper's Delight on here.

The reality is that Alice is circling the drain and taking the 2 kids down with her.

We know that the CPS are involved. This will be a very unusual case as they mainly deal with lower income people. However, I hope they bleeping do something. Ioan's insurance should cover residential treatment for Ella. Both kids need to be fostered right now. It's not safe for I and B to have them.
Every time I see CPS on here I think why would the Crown Prosecution be involved. Obviously it's not and I have to remind myself it's Child Protection Services.
 
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Agreed. I’m horrified by some of the language being used about an abused child. Whether she’s a ‘quarterback’ (great to know that those of us who are 5’10” and grew tall early are not only never ‘cutesy’, but masculine in appearance en masse) or not, she’s only 13. Her brain is still developing and refolding, shedding childhood detritus. She lives in an isolated, abusive, verbally violent, unstructured and unsafe environment. Her narc addict “mother” actively encourages her to hate and attack the father she loved so dearly by telling her she can “duck off” if she isn’t on side. I repeat, this is an abused child. IG is very clear that this is how he sees his daughter and wants to get her the help she needs in order to not be permanently damaged. A child who doesn’t deserve any of this. People have got to stop thinking that height = maturity. Newsflash: it doesn’t.
This. She’s a child. Yea one who should understand these things are wrong but she’s under Alice’s thumb. She’s in fear of Alice and in doing wrong by her. I think she can be treated and come to understand what she has done wrong and why. I have hope for her. And little Elsie who no doubt follows where her older sister goes. There’s hope. As long as Alice allows therapy to take place.
 
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Goodness those girls need therapy and stability. I was in the middle of a similarly nasty divorce between my parents, though I was much younger... it ruins your life. Alice is a psycho.
 
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Agreed. I’m horrified by some of the language being used about an abused child. Whether she’s a ‘quarterback’ (great to know that those of us who are 5’10” and grew tall early are not only never ‘cutesy’, but masculine in appearance en masse) or not, she’s only 13. Her brain is still developing and refolding, shedding childhood detritus. She lives in an isolated, abusive, verbally violent, unstructured and unsafe environment. Her narc addict “mother” actively encourages her to hate and attack the father she loved so dearly by telling her she can “duck off” if she isn’t on side. I repeat, this is an abused child. IG is very clear that this is how he sees his daughter and wants to get her the help she needs in order to not be permanently damaged. A child who doesn’t deserve any of this. People have got to stop thinking that height = maturity. Newsflash: it doesn’t.
You are making the quarterback comment about you. It wasn’t about you and your experiences. It was a comment that a very tall child clutching a comfort blanket and begging her dad on her knees does not have the same optics as a small looking child doing the same. Optics is all that AE cares about. All I took from that scenario was that Ella was bigger than her dad. Assuming that AE has not been curtailed in some way the much smaller child will be wheeled out because it looks better in photos.
 
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Also, I want to say something that I feel never really gets addressed - on MN in particular, people say "well if she was abusive, then he's a terrible father for leaving them in that environment".

It's emotional abuse, not physical. That's notoriously poorly understood and badly dealt with by the courts. What were his options? If he'd just removed them from Alice without her permission, they'd have been returned and he'd have been in the tit. I firmly believe his ONLY option was to leave himself, free himself, and be a mentally healthy and safe person for his daughters. The only other option was staying in that hell of a marriage and his daughters never having *any* kind of hope at a normal life or witnessing a normal, healthy relationship. I hope one day they will realise what a terrible, awful person their mother is and when that day comes they will have a father waiting for them who still loves them.
 
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Ella's social circle will become smaller now. The parents of her friends will see this and will limit their children's contact with her.
 
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Alice needs putting in a psychiatric facility. She is mad. End of.
No prison. She's bad rather than mad. She knows exactly what she is doing. If we say she's mad rather than evil, it's saying she's not responsible for what she is doing and given her a pass.

I will never give the megacunt a pass. Never have, never will.
 
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No prison. She's bad rather than mad. She knows exactly what she is doing. If we say she's mad rather than evil, it's saying she's not responsible for what she is doing and given her a pass.

I will never give the megacunt a pass. Never have, never will.
Exactly this. She is not redeemable and cannot be helped.
 
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MOO. I think that Alice was trying to get her PRO lifted. She might have asked Marie how she can have the PRO lifted and the latter explained that one of the ways is by showing that the person is not really afraid of you and have been in contact with you. That's why they needed a PI to take pictures and for Ioan to come to the house.
Then she latched on the idea to set Bianca and Ioan up and get revenge with one swoop. Get Ella to claim abuse by Bianca and Ioan and file for a TRO against them. Except Ioan is smarter than she gives him credit for and he listens to his attorney.
That could be why Marie was fired. When she realised what Alice was up to and refused to go along, Alice fired her. So much for smartest person in the room. And she had The Brain blabbing about PIs before the plan was afoot.
 
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