I've just read Ella's allegations. I haven't read the thread yet, though.
I just wanted to post some thoughts after reading Ella's allegations.
1. If true, Ioan never should have sprung meeting Bianca on her. I'm pretty sure Ella has left out major points on that, with the help of Mommy Dearest, though. So definitely more will come out on that.
2. While I believe Ella has completely fabricated and also embellished some of the events that unfolded, it is clear that Bianca was interacting with her at some point when she was trying to leave. Bianca should have not been involved in this in any way, shape, or form. This is completely up to Ioan to parent his daughter. Bianca had never met Ella. She definitely made a huge mistake in not standing back and completely letting Ioan handle it. She is not related to Ella nor does she have a relationship with Ella. To Ella she is the cause of the divorce (wrongly, of course), but even more so reason to have let Ioan handle it all as this visit went south.
3. I don't believe Bianca or Ioan called Ella a narcissist. I can't remember the other words Ella said they called her. Don't believe it. I'm sure Ioan might have said a couple of things as Ella flew out of control, but I don't believe Bianca called her anything. If she did, that's out of line, but I don't believe she did. Dr. Phil is clear about stepdaughters and issues in the new home. The stepmother (in this case father's girlfriend) needs to not engage, not their place, and let dad handle it. I remember Dr. Phil's show on this where if there is conflict and he is very specific about where there are issues and who handles it: Dad. That is even more relevant here because Ella and Bianca have zero relationship.
4. Ioan is so estranged from his children that he was having a companion to monitor his visits. I don't know if he still is. So with that kind of fear, whatever interaction Bianca had with Ella as she threw her fit and tried to leave, inserting herself into it was a massive mistake on Bianca's part. Because Ella and Mummy Dearest will take that and run and create a narrative that is unfair and untrue. The degree they did it is even worse than I could have expected.
Ioan is the victim of parental alienation and Ioan and Bianca are the victims of abuse from Alice. But that doesn't make everything he or Bianca do right all the time. Also, I am loathed to ever criticize children and young teens, especially in this case with the PA by Alice. I have always had great empathy for not just Elsie, but Ella also. But I have to say this: Ella's behavior at almost 14 was unacceptable, childish, and out of control. She should be ashamed of her behavior. She has so much anger in her. I do hope she is continuing in therapy.
Still, Bianca had no place to get involved in a tantrum with Ella at the apartment once it escalated, even if it was as simple as trying to block or stop her from leaving. NOT HER PLACE. I preface that always with "if true." But even if lies are in this story (definitely) and embellishments (definitely), it is still, as I said above, clear Bianca did involve herself in this situation during the escalation. They played right into Alice's hands, didn't they?
Also, I don't even know why Ioan and Bianca did that photo-op smiling away. I thought those optics were not right for the situation if it went further, and I guess it has with this filing. You don't have to set up a photo-op crying or all gloomy, but the allegations were upsetting and embarrassing. No need for a smiling photo-op. That's just my opinion.
At the end of the day, no matter what, Ioan's relationship with Ella has hit the bottom of the barrel. I guess Alice and Ella got what they wanted. No matter how this plays out, it is clear Ella and Bianca don't have a chance of having a relationship, or even Bianca just being tolerated, and Ella is close to an age where she won't even be forced to see Ioan anyway.
All of this is very unsavory and sickens me. I hope little Elsie still shows love to her dad. And Ella and Alice are in heaven with these events. Alice, I get. It's a wet dream for her: daughter filing for a RO against the bogan and Alice possibly getting full custody of at least Ella. But Ella should be sad doing this to her dad. I get she doesn't care about Bianca. But to her own dad? Sad.
And, Ioan, if you read this: I read an article by an expert that said when PA was going on that you can't parent like you normally would. But you probably already know that.
Now I'll go back and read this whole thread.
