I completely agree, friend.
I completely agree. Long post on deck, ignore me if you have a life to live lol…
I’m so proud of B. She’s doing what you said. And she’s confronting each day not as a beast to be defeated but a new opportunity to be a better her. She’s making genuine efforts to be her highest self, and is that not something to which people should aspire as often as possible? It’s hard work—and “doing hard work” is a phrase with which Alice has never been familiar.
In the past, Alice used her social media megaphone to insinuate or outright declare that Bianca struggles with jealousy; that she somehow yearns to mirror Alice. Who does that? Who wants to be Alice, unless they’re in a place lower than her, and who’s in a place lower than her? Alice is jealous of Bianca. She’s immensely, tragically, and hopelessly jealous.
But I truly believe that Alice’s jealousy is unusually intricate due to her narcissistic personality. It seems she wants trivial aspects of Bianca’s life and being—her beauty, her easy access to money, her Ioan, maybe her thinness, maybe the praise and attention she receives for speaking about her chronic illness.
But it seems she overlooks the more admirable aspects of Bianca: her kindness, her optimism, her efforts to be a good human. And I believe that Alice ignores these traits because she doesn’t believe she has a reason to want them…because she supposedly already has them. It’s like she wants to be the parts of Bianca that will outwardly grant her admiration and success, and yet she dismisses the more meaningful parts of her because she is aggressively and ignorantly convinced that she’s a good human being.
I wish Alice were jealous of those special parts of Bianca. I do. Because in a parallel universe where Alice deeply cared to improve herself, she would use Bianca as a template of who she’s supposed to be. And maybe in that parallel universe, she would slowly abandon her malevolence and do the hard, hard work that she should be doing in THIS universe.
I hate Alice. I HATE Alice. I don’t have enough empathy to want better for her, perhaps because she doesn’t have the motivation nor clarity to want better for herself.
Ok, I’m done.
Where’s the nearest sea?
We got some rollin to do…