18) The infamous ‘Marjorie’ video exists online and nobody in their right mind would hire her11) Her car is rat-infested, so she can't drive.
12) Ioan has shut down all her accounts. She has no money to buy gas, or a bus ticket, to get to work.
13) She is working on her book 20 hours a day.
14) She is too famous to work a regular job. People would recognise and harass her all the time. Do you see Angelina working a normal job on the side? Huh?? Do you???
15) Who will run the household while she works? She can't pay Gloria because Ioan wasted all their joint savings on $850 lawyers, so who's going to clean, cook and do the laundry?
@ReturningthePearls I love what you have written about the need to be able to identify and express negative thoughts, feelings and emotions.Thanks so much.I don’t handle rough times well, I’m afraid, but I’m learning slowly. And that matters.
I know your anxiety must be ramping up, I’m so sorry. But you’re right! You get out of bed, you take care of yourself, and you love your extraordinary life! Think about it: you’re here, breathing, in this world full of seconds and minutes and hours to be your best self, catching up with this fast-paced universe and finding the guidance that will empower you. How amazing is that???
You’re a powerful force, Lulu. A powerful damn force. You’ve got energy and drive and, my FAVORITE thing in the whole world…hope.
God love you forever. We certainly do.
I’ve been thinking a great deal about Alice’s apparent fixation on happiness. She’s “happy.” Her girls are “happy.” Everyone in the house must only be “happy.”
If her preoccupation on “happiness” isn’t just an Instagram bio or claim on Twitter, if she’s actually engaging with her girls in ways that only emphasize joy, then she’s neglecting their negative emotions. She’s meeting their distress with a severe lack of empathy, which, as we all know, is damaging.
If I remember correctly, I think social/emotional disconnection is a dire result of these interactions. The girls would not only feel like “happiness” is an appropriate and healthy response to any discomfort or pain, but they would feel deeply alienated from their mother, who is so desperately urging them to dismiss very real and very necessary emotions of negative natures.
Toxic positivity is a type of gaslighting. With her claims on Instagram and Twitter and whatever-the-duck else, she is gaslighting me. She is gaslighting you. She is gaslighting her girls. She is gaslighting everyone. And this speaks so much to her lack of emotional regulation.
Feeling bad is important in life. It is horrible, it is daunting, it is stressful—but it’s a crucial factor in not only recognizing the problems in one’s life but addressing them so that they may go away. When Alice isn’t whining on social media about being victimized, she adopts this weird persona of one who is constantly joyful, one who thrusts this attitude into her children’s laps.
Utilizing happiness to boost your self-esteem and activate your preparedness to win challenges that life throws at you is one thing; utilizing it in times where negative emotions are begging for your attention is a bad move. Alice has these bizarre periods where she assigns happiness to herself and those around her, and it’s definitely a hindrance in her being able to move on. She’s still tangled in the early stages of grief after, what, two years of social/emotional/physical separation?
I can’t stress enough how devastating the damage of toxic positivity can be. I really can’t. I apologize for this post, I just wanted to share some thoughts that surfaced.
)I don’t think that was his original plan but she’s unraveling and will have no place to live soon. Do you believe she has looked for and secured a place?
She says it's for the divorce but then references the August 2, hearing which is meant to decide if the temporary restraining order still in effect becomes permanent. We don't know if the child was actually re-enrolled for the coming school year. Ioan said he couldn't afford it and Alice claimed not to have money, but it hasn't been addressed. The house has not yet been sold and the divorce itself is proceeding quite slowly as she has not filed the requisite paperwork now it is going into litigation vs. the collaborative process that had been in place (but from which she withdrew). She claimed in February that Ioan had "fired" the nanny/housekeeper but she appears to still be working for Alice. No idea how or who is paying for it. She was also busted over the weekend for spending on many purchases on Ebay during the time she claimed to be broke.
I will be very unsettled if he doesn’t, a blind man can see how damaging that environment is for those girls.
Very quick summary
I don't either. This is where I have some side eye with Ioan, that he has left his kids with an unstable alcoholic - he has already been called because she is 'dying on the couch' and she 'collapsed in the shower' and the girls had to help her. How much more have those poor girls been exposed to that Ioan is already aware of? IMO it was enough for an emergency application or an psych assessment. I know there will be a chorus of 'he is going the legal route' but I think he could have raised issues with her previous behaviour and drinking. I don't think he wants full custody.
I don’t think he has a choice. What judge presiding over the divorce is going to award her any type of custody? She refuses to play ball, she is irresponsible and reckless in every way from generating income to looking for a new place to live and even appointing and maintaining representation. The raging substance abuse problem coupled with addiction to social media and shopping PLUS A PRO? Don’t forget the multiple violations and the continued and prolonged PA. Yeah sure. Fantastic candidate for shared custody lol
Am I right in thinking Alice has actually set up a GoFundMe account to pay for legal representation in her divorce?! YES
He might have little choice at this point with how inept Alice is being at taking responsibility. I don't think he wants full custody, no. He'll also be taking into account the impact of it on his relationship with B and, more importantly, her MS. It is not going to be a peaceful custody arrangement if it happens. I feel so much for little E as I'm sure she would love to be reunited with her dad but would feel so conflicted about her mum too. Big E would find it the worst thing in the world at this point in time. Bianca will be at the sharp end of their emotional turmoil. Alice could have done so much better with this for the girls. She's infuriating.
I posted my best, healthiest possible outcome a page or two ago and my worst is Alice is jailed or becomes totally unhinged and tries to do something that the PRO is trying to prevent.
Bianca is involved with a man with a famously volatile ex and 2 alienated kids - she should take this into account and if not, she should bow out. She got into the relationship with her eyes wide open and he was aware of her illness. If Ioan does let his kids go in favour of Bianca so as to not affect her MS, I know what I would feel about Ioan.
This struck a chord with me, I was the same I wouldn’t sit in my living room because my neighbours were so loud all the time, I’d panic.@ReturningthePearls I'm not good at handling stress/anxiety either, so I completely understand how you must be feeling. It has taken me over a month to be able to leave my bedroom, I couldnt even bear to sit in my front room. I'd have panic attacks so severe that I'd pass out from them and wake up sometimes an hour afterwards on the floor with the cat meowing in my face. I am with you, it's horrible and frightening, but all we can do it try and find coping mechanisms and just try a little bit each day.....sending virtual good vibes
The best outcome is that Ioan is financially solvent, the kids have a safe, loving place to live & therapy for what they've been through, and everyone can move forward with their lives. I don't care what happens to Alice, she can get in the bin.
its a difficult one because one is estranged (and likely cant have sole custody for a number of reasons( and one inept. I would not like to be the judge of this case.
Bear in mind he now has two seriously alienated kids. He may want full custody and he may ask for it. But the reality is he has one child who has already hacked into his social media and threatened to call CPS on him. The other apparently refuses to take his calls. What he wants and what is best for all concerned may be two different things. I doubt he is weighing them solely against his relationship with Bianca, though that would factor in.
