Trauma is trauma is trauma.
There is no trauma competition.
It doesn’t matter if your trauma is combat in war. It doesn’t matter if your trauma was physical abuse. Or emotional abuse. Or abuse by a partner or parent. Doesn’t matter if it was a car accident, a bomb in Baghdad, an internment camp, years of being put down, a natural disaster, being bullied....
Trauma is trauma. Full stop.
The psychology, the circumstances might be different, but what it does to the brain, is the exact same in every.single.circumstance.
The brain, particularly the lower portion of the brain (lizard brain as some call it), is highly sensitive to trauma. So when a person experiences trauma that lower part of the brain, which is highly connected to the nervous system responds. So you get a nervous system which is hyper reactive, highly attuned, and gets used to running the show. Physically this is going to manifest in elevated heart rate, increased blood pressure, short and shallow breathing…..like a zebra running away from a lion. In humans it will also make us more prone to quick thoughts which may not always be accurate.
That lower part of the brain which is so sensitive to trauma is not always connected to higher order upper brain thinking. So lower brain is not going to sit there and debate the finer points of should I be this way, do I have a right to this, is this trauma an actual trauma in comparison to the 15 people I’m thinking of? All it’s going to do is react to protect your ass.
Again. Trauma is trauma is trauma.
It profoundly impacts the brain and the way the brain functions.
The psychology, circumstances, and resources of a person determine the impact of trauma. If you have trauma and you have no resources, no help, no support, the odds are against you. If you have trauma and resources, and support, guess what? You do pretty well. If you have trauma, resources, and you don’t lean in, don’t recognize it, don’t work it, you get what we’re looking at.
BPD, NPD, abusive personalities very rarely arise from nothing, although it’s possible. Having a trauma background does not excuse or condone behavior, it gives a framework for understanding. I can have empathy for what likely happened in Alice’s childhood. I get how it fucked up her brain and her behavior. But, she’s an adult now. Part of that is looking at ourselves, our past, and our aspirations. She’s not doing that in any open, deliberate, or conscious way. She's ruled by impulsive, instinctual choices devoid of examination.
I will say this until the day I die: Trauma is Trauma is Trauma. There are no trauma Olympics. No one wins. No one places 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. All trauma impacts the brain the same way. Your trauma is just as important, just as worthy of love and empathy, just as worthy of examination.
