I’m so alone

[heretoreaditall2019]

I was in a bad place last year
I’ve had and have lots of help but lockdown is destroying my hard work on myself

I’ve seen my husband for 3 months now since January
I’m tired, lonely, stressed. I’m scared I’m going to relapse again

It’s okay, recovery isn’t a linear journey there will always be ups and downs. This is a temporary down and you will get better, one step at a time. Are you in the rooms by any chance? There are 24/7 meetings, I am happy to help you find a meeting that’s on now?

With regards to lockdown - it’s hard, it’s really hard. Are you going out walking with your girls? Where abouts in the country are you my love, are there any parks nearby or fun outside play areas? xx

 

[Hereiam44]

Hi there, I'm struggling a bit with loneliness during these lockdowns, it's the first time being an only child as an adult has affected me really bad, my 'friends' don't really check up on me and I always feel like I'm bothering them when I message first... I don't have any first cousins and my closest cousins have isolated me due to all being in relationships and I'm just out of one... I was wondering if anybody wanted to or could create a thread if anybody else wanted to chat about something similar?

This really resonates with me. I actually found myself quite emotional reading that. I started seeing a therapist after the first lockdown and we had some really interesting ‘only child’ chats, where my friends normally just roll their eyes if I bring it up! I’d definitely be interested in chatting more often

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I’m not in any rooms, here where I am everything has stopped. I work in a supermarket and it’s been so stressful
I live about 2km from the beach so I’ve been running and running
I’m about 7m from the most easterly point of England

but it’s the night times I struggle.
I was drinking lots last lockdown but I’m t total now but I find I just urge for a beer or gin

I don’t want to tell you what to do or push you any which way, but you’ve mentioned drinking lots and being tee total - have you gone to any AA meetings before? They’re very calming and there’s absolutely no pressure to contribute, you can just go and sit and listen to people. You can Google AA meetings online, or if you’d like I can find you links, there are meetings that run 24/7 with lockdown so you can just dip in and out.

What foods do you love? Treat yourself to something that you absolutely love and makes you happy instead of a drink? xx

 

[calmyourritas]

Where is your husband? Is he available for you to talk to?

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

He’s in the Middle East. He’s in quarantine at the moment so we can kind of speak
But once he’s moved from quarantine it’s difficult.

it’s very a complicated situation.
He didn’t want to leave us and I begged him to stay but duty calls.

I just feel so sad and alone
My dad has PSTD so can’t speak to me about what I’m going through even though he would understand and my mum who is my childminder/support bubble seems to think that I’m dramatic even though she would understand how I feel if she just listened and didn’t dote on the grandkids!

I seem to be in a lone situation amongst my friends who think I’m being dramatic.
but it’s so hard to explain how alone and afraid I feel to anyone

sorry for rambling

Ive not experienced the going away part with my partner just yet but I know its coming. I joke about enjoying it but Im scared. We may all be "stramgers" but we are people behind these screens and messages and we want to help you.
I know its not in person but keep talking to us. Block the monster on social media.
Im a pretty good insomniac so I'll be here xxx

 

[Lauz666]

We're all here for you. I'm also going through some bad MH stuff at the moment and I'm finding tattle really does help, everyone is so lovely. Just keep chatting. It helps.

If you need to talk to a trained person https://giveusashout.org/

It is free to text Shout 85258 from all major mobile networks in the UK

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Hi there, I'm struggling a bit with loneliness during these lockdowns, it's the first time being an only child as an adult has affected me really bad, my 'friends' don't really check up on me and I always feel like I'm bothering them when I message first... I don't have any first cousins and my closest cousins have isolated me due to all being in relationships and I'm just out of one... I was wondering if anybody wanted to or could create a thread if anybody else wanted to chat about something similar?

Can i Join.. I feel very much the same x

 

[CosmicCreepers]

Sorry to butt in but I'm an only child too! I'm at home at the mo with my Mum but I'm usually in a shared house for uni. Things got very lonely during lockdown even though I lived with others, I hid away. I was too scared at that time. I'm so glad things have gotten better, reading your earlier post touched my heart. A lot of my anxiety lately is about thinking about the future, and how the fact I'm not in a relationship means when my parents pass I'll be alone (no siblings). So many scary thoughts. Stay strong

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

So many of you responding and giving advice
It’s so appreciated, more than you’ll ever know!
I’m going to make an appointment with my therapist and also just try explaining to my husband how I feel like I have here tonight

thank you
You’ve talked me off the ledge xxx

this sounds like an amazing idea, also I know it’s hard but a good nights sleep does help especially if you’re in shock or emotionally exhausted. Please could you check in with us when you wake up? Would be nice to hear how things go xx

 

[birdiefly246]

okay I've just read your original post, and maybe I'm way out of line for saying this.

He's hiding his phone and lock key etc then something is going on. You've got a gut instinct that it is and normally that is pretty spot on. If you say anything and he accuses you of being the jealous girlfriend then I'd be asking myself why is he deflecting it onto me? If he was innocent he wouldn't be jumping to make sure you feel like the crazy one.

 

[calmyourritas]

Sorry to steal your thread @Makaraka but I need some outside advice.

How would you feel seeing messages from another female on your bfs phone to the likes of "xxx" and "when can I have you"
Hes openly lied to me about constant messages being family (incidentally caught him out) and is never away from his phone to the point he turns it away from me/has changed his lock code.

Im at a loss because if I say anything I just become the jealous gf and he brings up past incidences

Honestly, hearing things like “when can I have you?” - I wouldn’t put up with that.

don’t let him treat you like shit xx

 

[Bubblebutton03]

Hi .. new to this thread.. if I saw that on my partner phone I would not be happy. I suspect mine is having an affair to., looked at his phone but he is clever!
I stay As I have already had a failed marriage and we have a kid.
lonely is the worst feeling.. this time of year is so hard x

 

[LaurieLaurie]

You’ll get through it. Life is hard atm, I’m in my own with my daughter and feeling down but we will come through it.

 

[Itsallaboutmememe]

Ive been where you are now-so low,the world on your shoulders and that damn black cloud over your head
please please please phone your gp
mine saved my life a few years ago
can you bubble up with friends?
I know mine where amazing when I felt like shite-having your kids is amazing too but sometimes they can drain the life out of you-I have 6 and sometimes I couldn’t face getting out of bed because they all needed me,but I had nothing left to give them
please just find the energy to phone your doctor-as I said to my mate the other day ‘all journeys start with the first step,which is often the hardest’
sending much love your way-my inbox is always open xxx

 

[calmyourritas]

I hope you are feeling a little brighter today @Makaraka , please send us a message to check in I have been thinking about you!

 

[LucilleBluth]

Sending hugs there’s a good thread about lockdown coping strategies that you might like. Lots of ideas about how to fill the time.

 

[Raininvain]

Your relationship is over, dont be a mug and put up with all this, you need to leave him today or tell him to go depending on your housing situation.

 

[Makaraka]

I’ve had a bad night tonight
I can’t explain how I feel at all. Mr Makaraka is due home on Tuesday (so excited) but he’s been out for dinner, brunch, massage and hair cut and completely offline since I woke up this morning!!

its completely sent me over the edge mental health wise and I’ve convinced myself he has a girlfriend and 3 kids over there!

 

[Holymotherofgod]

The problem is I dont have context and I dont want to blow it out of proportion.

From experience, I wouldn't put up with it for longer then I have to... I think he wants his cake and to eat it too... You're worth more then that

The problem is I dont have context and I dont want to blow it out of proportion.

You're not blowing it out of proportion though he will tell you you are, been there done that, wish I had have asked for advice here instead of thinking I was nuts to have suspicions when this happened to me, you're gut is ALWAYS right

 

[What's the craic Jack]

You poor thing it's awful to feel so alone but just know you're not on your own. There's always people here to chat to. You've probably already seen this but this NHS link has some advice and contact information for any struggling during lockdown. Mind yourself and your beautiful little girls

6 tips to tackle working from home - Every Mind Matters

Read our 6 simple tips to help you manage working from home and look after your mental wellbeing.

www.nhs.uk