I’m so alone

[ChampagneBox]

Maybe you have a bit of seasonal affective disorder? I also struggle with the dark nights What about one of those lamps that mimic daylight? That might help take the edge off the darkness?

 

[calmyourritas]

I haven’t watched the crown but I think I need to!
I hope your daughter is okay, definitely try to find out what’s going on. Sometimes kids find it easier to write things down rather than say it aloud, could be worth a try xx

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

All sorted. Thank you for allowing me to vent here. You guys really aren't vile humans as a lot of "influencers" claim.
My trust in him is there still bit Im still wary. The thing in question has been told to back off and (apparently) blocked

All the best

 

[Myanthony1]

Sorry to hear your feeling so low atm. I was in quite a bad place last year and found a great resource on Instagram of all places! the holistic psychologist also wim Hoff breathing techniques are amazing at calming the negative thoughts and the whole bodies nervous system. Sending all my love and best wishes

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

thank you everyone!
I got up this morning feeling a lot better!
Took the girls to school and then went for a long run!

In the days I’m fine, I keep myself busy with house work and pottering around and during the summer months I’ll walk and do the garden. It’s the colder months and the evenings that I really struggle.

I need some good films, series and books! I love a podcast too. Just anything to keep my mind busy!

So glad to hear this xx podcasts I love the receipts on Spotify & Katherine Ryan’s - both are very very funny.

The evenings are shit, I know this sounds silly but have you got any natural light bulbs? I love mine, they do help lift your mood a little x

 

[watermelon sugar]

I agree with the writing things down! Could be easier than talking about it. Hope she's okay

And no I've not watched the Crown all I manage are the soaps & the jungle these days

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

Hey hey!
been at work today and after convincing myself the worst! turns out he had just been in and out of WiFi spots couldn’t connect or send the texts he was trying to send me until I got them at 345 this morning when I got up for work!

Phew, he went for dinner with his friend who lives there, brunch for a work thing and shopping for my birthday

I honestly make myself so crazy sometimes anyone else like this?

Me.

The woman who was incessantly messaging my OH who he told me he had messaged and said she shouldnt talk to him and he had no reason to talk too has reappeared on his phone. I feel so betrayed.

 

[ChampagneBox]

So I’ve debated emailing the ex teacher now deputy head! The child who’s been saying mean things the parents are now getting divorced so I gave the benefit of the doubt and just put it down to that at first! But now it’s becoming Personal and I can see the torment to my daughter

he’s not in the forces, he works for an oil company in the Middle East but the government control the company at the moment for covid and he’s stuck in a rut with them

Yes of course! It’s an important life lesson that even if you feel like shit, you don’t bring other people down! ‘Treat people how you would like to be treated’! I know they’re only children so don’t always understand the power of words but I was bullied at school and never got over some of the cruel things said to me, so I sympathise

I don’t have kids but my partner works away every week which I know isnt quite the same as your situation at we see eachother at weekends, although at the moment he’s away for a three week stretch, so I understand how lonely you must feel It’s taken 2 years of living alone in his house and I’m still not totally used to it!

 

[Sweetsunrise]

I have nothing to add from what everyone else has said, but I just really hope you’re okay. You are NOT alone and there is so much support available for you.

Sending you all the love

 

[calmyourritas]

Your gut will tell you all you need to know...

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

Have you got the woman’s full name and stalked her on social media? I’d go full on psycho and follow him from the house one day to see what he does and if he meets up with her. Also check her friends social media to see if they post any photos with the two of them together.

my husbands relative had a secret baby with someone behind his girlfriends back. No one knew anything about the baby mumma for YEARS it was only through a bit of social media stalking everything came to light. He doesn’t have social media (too many lies to keep up with to be on there), but through stalking others everyone found out.

Yes I know I sound like a loon


I wonder why he hasn’t changed her name on his phone? Makes me think maybe he’s not being dodgy, or (sorry to say it) he’s not very smart

Why doesn't he just say she's messaged to see how Im getting on or something. Hes recently joined the Navy fulltime from the reserves. His phone was beeping a lot earlier but I put it down to his sister messaging on the group chat because of the snow (idiot)

I know exactly who she is and what she looks like even the town she lives and her husbands name. They're not friends on social media (FB) so Im a bit stuck there.
It looks recent aa his mood has been ok up until today when hes gotren grumpy easily and making excuses to get out the house... Probably to message her back knowing full well Id kick off

 

[Base2019]

So I aaked this morning (things were already tense) and his reply was What? I dont know/dont know what your talking about.
Hes either lieing or completely oblivious.
My gut says first....

I’m so sorry your in this situation. You don’t deserve it. Not exactly a reassuring response from him either

 

[calmyourritas]

The problem is I dont have context and I dont want to blow it out of proportion.

You’ve said he’s openly lied to you before. Is this just about messages or have there been other things?

It sounds to me like you don’t trust him, for a reason.

 

[Makaraka]

What has she said to you? I’m sure if you ask to talk to the teacher they should be understanding, can you do face to face meetings? We can only do phone calls at the mo

At the moment it’s drop off in the playground so it’s hard to get her teacher for a chat
Last year her teacher was amazing she’s now deputy head and she knew that daddy went away for a long time she helped her through it when he was away!
This new teacher however knows nothing about our situation and now with my daughter saying people are mean to her because she doesn’t “have a daddy” it’s very upsetting
Tonight she told me that one girl laughed at her because her daddy didn’t pick her up and she was trying to make new friends

 

[Milliehaha123]

This was my initial argument. If Im pissed off and upset how will he feel.

This is really shit behaviour. Even if it's innocent it's making you question him and your trust and therefore isn't on.
I think you need to seriously sit him down and have an adult one on one conversation about how you feel - if he cares he will be open and honest with you. I would ask my partner to see the messages but I wouldn't take the phone and look in private - that is also a betrayal of trust and can lead to more problems.
Honestly, it might be nothing but it also could be something. You will eat yourself up if you don't know for sure. Maybe he isn't responding to the woman and it's not anything out of line but boundaries do clearly need to be set.

 

[Makaraka]

Diana is the best casting I’ve seen for ages
My poor little girl
I’m going to ask to speak to her teacher tomorrow and see what I can do
It’s so hard with covid and the rules her teacher is just so hard and dismissive

 

[calmyourritas]

At the moment it’s drop off in the playground so it’s hard to get her teacher for a chat
Last year her teacher was amazing she’s now deputy head and she knew that daddy went away for a long time she helped her through it when he was away!
This new teacher however knows nothing about our situation and now with my daughter saying people are mean to her because she doesn’t “have a daddy” it’s very upsetting
Tonight she told me that one girl laughed at her because her daddy didn’t pick her up and she was trying to make new friends

That is so sad, I hope you manage to get it sorted kids can be cruel

 

[ClockworkDolly]

Please try and talk to someone, even if they are a total stranger, which sometimes is better because they don’t complicate things. I wish you all the very best and hope you can open up to someone. Loneliness is heartbreaking, I have been there, but things can and do improve.

 

[Holymotherofgod]

Wow it's so heartwarming to read a post like I've written it myself. I hope you're okay too, its such a very real and scary fear.

I find myself thinking about it less when I have the motivation to keep myself busy, so by extension a good nights sleep really helps! To be honest I've been looking for some sort of adult only child support groups or associations but haven't found anything... I hate going to the doctor or counselling about this topic, it's very obviously a normal response to growing up, I just want to share thoughts and chat with people in the same position...

 

[calmyourritas]

Diana is the best casting I’ve seen for ages
My poor little girl
I’m going to ask to speak to her teacher tomorrow and see what I can do
It’s so hard with covid and the rules her teacher is just so hard and dismissive

What has she said to you? I’m sure if you ask to talk to the teacher they should be understanding, can you do face to face meetings? We can only do phone calls at the mo