I’m so alone

[Makaraka]

I need a hovb

this sounds like an amazing idea, also I know it’s hard but a good nights sleep does help especially if you’re in shock or emotionally exhausted. Please could you check in with us when you wake up? Would be nice to hear how things go xx

thank you for tonight.
honestly it means so much to me.

I’ll be sure to message in the morning x

Thank you so much everyone

 

[McNuggets]

You don’t need to justify yourself to us.

You are not being dramatic. You are entitled to feel how you feel and your thoughts and feelings are real and they are valid.

Would it help you to know that this will pass? Believe me it will. Everything passes.

xxx

 

[Georgethecat]

Sorry to steal your thread @Makaraka but I need some outside advice.

How would you feel seeing messages from another female on your bfs phone to the likes of "xxx" and "when can I have you"
Hes openly lied to me about constant messages being family (incidentally caught him out) and is never away from his phone to the point he turns it away from me/has changed his lock code.

Im at a loss because if I say anything I just become the jealous gf and he brings up past incidences

Get rid, ASAP. He's hiding stuff and gaslighting you. Don't waste your headspace on him. Not worth it in the long run, he's clearly keeping his options open.

 

[Em150]

You are never alone please reach out if you need to. Your beautiful children need their Mummy

 

[Justreading]

I'm so sorry that you're having a really difficult time. Please dont ever feel alone.
As much as this forum gets a bad rep we're all nice people deep down, keep chatting here to keep yourself busy.

How old are your children? I've found some of the best support in speaking to mums at school, I was told you make friends through your children and its helped me in recent times. Is that an option for you at all? You mention running, are you able to go for a run with a friend.

Parents and the older generation do find it very difficult to understand, I've experienced that myself. Are you able to speak to your mum without the children around so she can't be distracted by them and can really listen to you?

Look at the replies here, you're not alone

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

Have you heard of or tried the app "headspace" I swear by it for my really anxious days. My depressive days I sleep. Or have bath. Or walk the dog. Or sleep.
If the two hit simultaneously Im a wreck. The fact you're reaching out to us "trolls"is a step.
Those children of yours will be waking up in a few hours wanting to see and hug and kiss their mum. They'll want to tell you all about their dreams last night and what they did in school but most importantly they will love you unconditionallly for being their mum.
Find something in your home now to occupy your mind. Even if its nattering to us xxx

 

[D_Wills]

Hey, so glad you are feeling better today I am finding this lockdown really hard. Im a single parent and on furlough for the second time so literally spending 6 hours a day alone while he's at school is really fucking tough.
If you, or anyone in the same boat, wants to chat then drop me a message, I could do with the company too love to everyone xx

 

[McNuggets]

The nighttime is definitely the worst for anxiety and dark thoughts to creep in. The nights can be lonely and long. We overthink at night. Which then means we can’t sleep!

I honestly really recommend having a cuddle with one of your littlies. Have a stare at their beautiful face.

You can do this xx

 

[Makaraka]

don’t apologise it’s fine, all of us are here listening! I’m relieved to hear you’ve got a support bubble nearby, I think because mental health is still a new-ish concept some parents can really struggle to understand it, but that doesn’t mean your feelings and experiences aren’t valid! Have you got a local GP? I’d really recommend ringing them tomorrow as they can help you SO much my love, even in lockdown they’re being amazing, I just finished some CBT through the NHS and it’s been life changing.

I agree wirh other girls here, have you got any friends who are more understanding? I’d honestly double bubble and see them too if you’re struggling, it’s a shit set of circumstances we’re all in but you need a bit more support right now and that’s fine. Please keep chatting to us x

I’ve done CBT was doing great
It’s hard because one of my closest Friends her husband works away for 2-3 weeks offshore and she thinks I’m belittling her or having ago when I say how much I’m struggling
I’m the type of person who doesn’t want to offend or fall out

I bottle it all up and then explode

 

[PootleFlump]

You can go on, you have love and strength around you. These people in your phone are here. And we will help.
Please talk to us.
You have friends here and even if it doesn’t seem possible, you have love and support. You have reached out to us so please use us and let us help you sweetheart xx

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

He’s in the Middle East. He’s in quarantine at the moment so we can kind of speak
But once he’s moved from quarantine it’s difficult.

it’s very a complicated situation.
He didn’t want to leave us and I begged him to stay but duty calls.

I just feel so sad and alone
My dad has PSTD so can’t speak to me about what I’m going through even though he would understand and my mum who is my childminder/support bubble seems to think that I’m dramatic even though she would understand how I feel if she just listened and didn’t dote on the grandkids!

I seem to be in a lone situation amongst my friends who think I’m being dramatic.
but it’s so hard to explain how alone and afraid I feel to anyone

sorry for rambling

don’t apologise it’s fine, all of us are here listening! I’m relieved to hear you’ve got a support bubble nearby, I think because mental health is still a new-ish concept some parents can really struggle to understand it, but that doesn’t mean your feelings and experiences aren’t valid! Have you got a local GP? I’d really recommend ringing them tomorrow as they can help you SO much my love, even in lockdown they’re being amazing, I just finished some CBT through the NHS and it’s been life changing.

I agree wirh other girls here, have you got any friends who are more understanding? I’d honestly double bubble and see them too if you’re struggling, it’s a shit set of circumstances we’re all in but you need a bit more support right now and that’s fine. Please keep chatting to us x

 

[Ginger drink]

I have nothing to add but please believe what other posters have said and speak to someone /anyone. From personal experience, please think of your children who love you very much

 

[Makaraka]

@Makaraka do you have Netflix? I would highly recommend Ozark, Narcos and Narcos Mexico. There's a character in Ozark called Darlene Snell and she's just like Ma Barker! glad you're feeling better today. You are the best mother to your girls and don't ever doubt that. Whatever you're doing right now, just take a moment and think about how much you love them and how much they love you, then get yourself settled in the couch and relax. We are all here for you. Xxx

I haven’t seen that! I’m watching the crown now! Haven’t been able to sit and catch up for ages on it!

ive had a good day I think the Hinch debacle kept me occupied!

Although my eldest tonight has been a little bastard. Played me up so much!

 

[watermelon sugar]

@Makaraka I'm sorry you're feeling like this hun and I think you're so brave for speaking up about it. Glad to know you're feeling better too

I feel the same, lockdown has broke me and some days I feel like i can't go on anymore. My mental health is up and down like the weather and I feel like I have more bad days than good

I always remember though that it would be a lot worse if I werent here. My fella & my son would be lost without me & it would be the same for your little girls and your hubby

Being alone/feeling alone is the worst. Its not the same as you but my fella works 12 hour days and I never see my family & friends because they live far away from me. I feel so alone. I find messaging my friends just for ongoing conversation helps just so im busy and got someone to speak to.

If you want to just pm me through the day for shit convo please do. And anyone for that

Keep yourself busy, watch shit telly, go on Tattle to keep you entertained!

You matter in this world hope you're okay babe x

 

[Makaraka]

my love the last sentence is very worrying, please call the Samaritans on 116 123 & check out resources here:

uk suicide resources - Google Search

I was in a bad place last year
I’ve had and have lots of help but lockdown is destroying my hard work on myself

I’ve seen my husband for 3 months now since January
I’m tired, lonely, stressed. I’m scared I’m going to relapse again

 

[birdiefly246]

The problem is I dont have context and I dont want to blow it out of proportion.

maybe I'm alone in thinking this but how much context do you really need for "when can I have you?"

it's not "when can I see you?" which is something that you could say to a friend. I'm not saying "have you" implies anything sexual but for me anyway it does imply some kind of possession, like a "when is my time to have you" kind of thing

 

[Missh95]

You’re never alone Even if you need to speak to somebody on here. There’s always someone to reach out to. Your little girls need their mummy xx

 

[Makaraka]

Sorry to steal your thread @Makaraka but I need some outside advice.

How would you feel seeing messages from another female on your bfs phone to the likes of "xxx" and "when can I have you"
Hes openly lied to me about constant messages being family (incidentally caught him out) and is never away from his phone to the point he turns it away from me/has changed his lock code.

Im at a loss because if I say anything I just become the jealous gf and he brings up past incidences

Steal away!
Wow, firstly I would be livid!
As previously said, “when can I have you” to me implies it’s much more!

If he’s lied in the past also you have every right to be suspicious.
I think you should confront him about it! I understand it will be hard for you whatever the consequences but you need to hit this head on xxx

 

[Makaraka]

It’s okay, recovery isn’t a linear journey there will always be ups and downs. This is a temporary down and you will get better, one step at a time. Are you in the rooms by any chance? There are 24/7 meetings, I am happy to help you find a meeting that’s on now?

With regards to lockdown - it’s hard, it’s really hard. Are you going out walking with your girls? Where abouts in the country are you my love, are there any parks nearby or fun outside play areas? xx

I’m not in any rooms, here where I am everything has stopped. I work in a supermarket and it’s been so stressful
I live about 2km from the beach so I’ve been running and running
I’m about 7m from the most easterly point of England

but it’s the night times I struggle.
I was drinking lots last lockdown but I’m t total now but I find I just urge for a beer or gin

 

[Squiggle]

I wonder how "when can I have you" is taken the wrong way out of context? I would take that how it comes across to be honest.