I’m so alone

[Makaraka]

I know, I've generally been grateful for my own space at home but no, this is too much... I'm quite new here so I'm not able to make a thread, if somebody who can could I'd be grateful x

I’m also an only child! Please feel free to use this thread to talk to us!
Do you live alone? Do you have any hobbies? xx

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

sleep well. check in with us if you feel the need Xx

 

[Beverley Macker]

I’ve had a bad night tonight
I can’t explain how I feel at all. Mr Makaraka is due home on Tuesday (so excited) but he’s been out for dinner, brunch, massage and hair cut and completely offline since I woke up this morning!!

its completely sent me over the edge mental health wise and I’ve convinced myself he has a girlfriend and 3 kids over there!

He’s probably just sprucing himself up for you! Not long to go now

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I asked again in bed last night. Very calmly and explained to him how it made me feel. He was still "oblivious" and said he would look in the morning. Morning has neen and gone and his response was I cant see anything. Its making me so angry and equally upset by it. Next step is to ask for his phone....

He might have deleted everything and asked the other woman not to text anymore.

Does he pretend the texts didn’t exist? Don’t allow him to gaslight you and doubt your own mind, be firm and demand a response

 

[MaxieMoo]

Ooo I love a funny one! I like a true crime too but there doesn’t seem to be any that are taking my fancy at the moment!
last time he was away I binged the whole of my dad wrote a porno! So I’m glad that returns next year!

I haven’t got any natural light bulbs but I’ll look into them!
I struggle to sleep when he’s away but my colleague gave me a sleep aid vape thing so I’m going to give that a go.

thank you lovely people, I was just reading the comments about tattle being full of horrible bullies and it most certainly isn’t.

if anyone else is lonely and/or just wants a chat please feel free
it’s nice to have here to vent it’s made me feel better and I don’t like getting told off for going off topic on other threads x

I quite enjoyed the Crime Junkie podcasts.

There are a couple of threads on Tattle that I'm on. One is book recommendations/ what are you reading and the other is documentaries you've seen and still think about today. Both have been good at giving me ideas of things to watch and read.

I try and think and plan all the lovely things we can do in the future. The things I took for granted before Covid. It's dark times for so many right now. Tattlers are always around if you need to talk and just to be heard. Someone listening is sometimes all we need.

 

[calmyourritas]

Ring your GP in the morning and request to continue with your CBT please, most places are doing sessions over the phone and can offer you support even with covid.

What kinds of things do you like to do in the evening once the children are asleep? Xx

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

And now Ive found out a lady I worked with has died, covid related.
Everything can just fuck off!!

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

Sorry to steal your thread @Makaraka but I need some outside advice.

How would you feel seeing messages from another female on your bfs phone to the likes of "xxx" and "when can I have you"
Hes openly lied to me about constant messages being family (incidentally caught him out) and is never away from his phone to the point he turns it away from me/has changed his lock code.

Im at a loss because if I say anything I just become the jealous gf and he brings up past incidences

 

[Makaraka]

Thanks a million I'm back liveling with my parents since the pandemic started back in March.. I'm back to work one day a week doing what I love thank god and weightlifting is my main hobby along with mountain climbing, my heart sinks at the thoughts of the gyms closing again I have to say, I've been prescribed melatonin in the last week for sleep and getting a good night's sleep is definitely helping with my thought process and motivation to do something during the day

Aw at least you’re there with your parents, although I know how hard it is to be back in a space with them! I’ve found myself so sad that the gyms are closing again! It was my thing for me!
id love if you could share with me some home workouts or something?
I was feeling so lonely and alone but my daughters went into isolation from school and because I was doing homework with them and keeping them occupied I really found a bond with my eldest who really hated me and I can see it now because I wasn’t the person I needed to be which has helped and also me and my mum have gotten really close again doing different things together like going for a walk or me just popping round for my dad to teach me how to sow properly...
Is there a common ground you can find with your parents for something to keep you busy whilst feeling like they aren’t your parents? If that makes sense

 

[Makaraka]

Hey hey!
been at work today and after convincing myself the worst! turns out he had just been in and out of WiFi spots couldn’t connect or send the texts he was trying to send me until I got them at 345 this morning when I got up for work!

Phew, he went for dinner with his friend who lives there, brunch for a work thing and shopping for my birthday

I honestly make myself so crazy sometimes anyone else like this?

 

[McNuggets]

Sleep well darling.

Check in with us tomorrow xxx

 

[Makaraka]

That’s horrible! What the hell is being said at home for these kids to say something like that?? Is it worth going to the now deputy head and explaining what’s being said to your daughter? She may be able to have an assembly or something about single parent situations so all the children understand? Makes you wonder if the girl who said it is having trouble at home/her dad isn’t around and she’s hurting, but of course that’s no excuse to say that to someone else! Is your partner in the forces hun?

So I’ve debated emailing the ex teacher now deputy head! The child who’s been saying mean things the parents are now getting divorced so I gave the benefit of the doubt and just put it down to that at first! But now it’s becoming Personal and I can see the torment to my daughter

he’s not in the forces, he works for an oil company in the Middle East but the government control the company at the moment for covid and he’s stuck in a rut with them

 

[CosmicCreepers]

I'm having these exact thoughts lately, It gets so overwhelming... I'm only out of a relationship and even when I was in it had that sense of when they're gone I'll really be all alone and nobody with share the same emotions of losing them with me... I know it won't be today or tomorrow but some days during this pandemic it's just consumed me... It is a comfort knowing I'm not alone in these thoughts hope it is to you as well

Wow it's so heartwarming to read a post like I've written it myself. I hope you're okay too, its such a very real and scary fear.

 

[Ef27]

I just stumbled across this thread, I hope you are feeling better and just remember you are so loved and important, you’re also very brave for speaking about it it’s very tough with new lockdown measures especially at Christmas this year has been very challenging and sometimes it feels as if the light at the tunnel is very far away but we’ll get through it sending positivity and love to everyone Merry Christmas

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

Awkward Yeti. Forever knowing my feelings. Forever coming up trumps to support others x

 

[Flossy2019]

I don’t know if this is any help but could you get a dog? Do you like dogs.. have time for one? They are great companions , especially at night time when your kids are asleep Something extra to look forward to in the day? As they are always pleased to see us and gives you a reason to get out the house etc. I never feel alone when I’m with my dog

 

[Makaraka]

Yes of course! It’s an important life lesson that even if you feel like shit, you don’t bring other people down! ‘Treat people how you would like to be treated’! I know they’re only children so don’t always understand the power of words but I was bullied at school and never got over some of the cruel things said to me, so I sympathise

I don’t have kids but my partner works away every week which I know isnt quite the same as your situation at we see eachother at weekends, although at the moment he’s away for a three week stretch, so I understand how lonely you must feel It’s taken 2 years of living alone in his house and I’m still not totally used to it!

I’m a military daughter so I understand the process and feelings of not having your dad there and how it feels.
my husband always says I’m harsh because I don’t sympathise to our girls as I should, which isn’t true I know how much they must hurt and struggle but we at least know that he will be home sometime but I grew up not knowing if my dad would return. If people said nasty things I’d just shrug it off! It’s only really now as an adult and a mum I’ve really struggled with nasty comments and horrible feelings so I feel like I’m taking on my daughters too!
She’s an amazing little girl, she’s kind, funny and very sassy and so beautiful (IMO) I can’t stand the thought that she’s being bullied at school

 

[calmyourritas]

@Makaraka i hope you’re feeling better !?

 

[Makaraka]

Anyone who’s there or listening...

does anyone watch the crown?
My little girls, god love them, have been so bad this evening!
I think my eldest is being bullied at school she’s kind of touched on what’s going on but I don’t know what to do

 

[AC55]

I haven’t seen that! I’m watching the crown now! Haven’t been able to sit and catch up for ages on it!

ive had a good day I think the Hinch debacle kept me occupied!

Although my eldest tonight has been a little bastard. Played me up so much!

Our kids play up because they feel safe pushing their boundaries with us. I know that's no help when you're in the middle of it trying to stay sane but that is what kids do. I'm glad you're chilling out and having some down time. Xx