I’m so alone

[HenryHenchcliffe]

maybe I'm alone in thinking this but how much context do you really need for "when can I have you?"

it's not "when can I see you?" which is something that you could say to a friend. I'm not saying "have you" implies anything sexual but for me anyway it does imply some kind of possession, like a "when is my time to have you" kind of thing

That's what shocked me most. Have is such a strong possessive word

 

[calmyourritas]

That's what shocked me most. Have is such a strong possessive word

Have you spoken to him?

 

[Blonde123]

Sorry to steal your thread @Makaraka but I need some outside advice.

How would you feel seeing messages from another female on your bfs phone to the likes of "xxx" and "when can I have you"
Hes openly lied to me about constant messages being family (incidentally caught him out) and is never away from his phone to the point he turns it away from me/has changed his lock code.

Im at a loss because if I say anything I just become the jealous gf and he brings up past incidences

Have you got the woman’s full name and stalked her on social media? I’d go full on psycho and follow him from the house one day to see what he does and if he meets up with her. Also check her friends social media to see if they post any photos with the two of them together.

my husbands relative had a secret baby with someone behind his girlfriends back. No one knew anything about the baby mumma for YEARS it was only through a bit of social media stalking everything came to light. He doesn’t have social media (too many lies to keep up with to be on there), but through stalking others everyone found out.

Yes I know I sound like a loon

Me.

The woman who was incessantly messaging my OH who he told me he had messaged and said she shouldnt talk to him and he had no reason to talk too has reappeared on his phone. I feel so betrayed.

I wonder why he hasn’t changed her name on his phone? Makes me think maybe he’s not being dodgy, or (sorry to say it) he’s not very smart

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

You’ve said he’s openly lied to you before. Is this just about messages or have there been other things?

It sounds to me like you don’t trust him, for a reason.

His phone is constantly going off receiving messages (he has navy group chats going on) but he said it was his sister who was talking to me at that time ao I asked her... She said no

Have you spoken to him?

We're both working nights. Im going to speak to him tomorrow about it

 

[Holymotherofgod]

I’m also an only child! Please feel free to use this thread to talk to us!
Do you live alone? Do you have any hobbies? xx

Thanks a million I'm back liveling with my parents since the pandemic started back in March.. I'm back to work one day a week doing what I love thank god and weightlifting is my main hobby along with mountain climbing, my heart sinks at the thoughts of the gyms closing again I have to say, I've been prescribed melatonin in the last week for sleep and getting a good night's sleep is definitely helping with my thought process and motivation to do something during the day

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

What Id like to say...

Ive caught glimpses of messages from {her} and Im getting more worried about your "friendship" Would you show me them so I get full context because what Ive seen when we're next to each other or if Im passing by is really fucking inappropriate and it upsets me a lot.
I love you and I trust you but I dont agree with her being this needy.

In my head - Youre mine and Joey doesnt share food

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

I’m so sorry your in this situation. You don’t deserve it. Not exactly a reassuring response from him either

I asked again in bed last night. Very calmly and explained to him how it made me feel. He was still "oblivious" and said he would look in the morning. Morning has neen and gone and his response was I cant see anything. Its making me so angry and equally upset by it. Next step is to ask for his phone....

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

So I aaked this morning (things were already tense) and his reply was What? I dont know/dont know what your talking about.
Hes either lieing or completely oblivious.
My gut says first....

 

[rossypossa122]

Hey gal, everybody at some point during lockdown has felt out of. bounds with the situation and I know for sure I have. You are the woman he's coming home to! I had to act, fake it till you make it, treat em mean keep em keen has always worked for me. Its super hard I know but pls don't let it affect your mental health chick

 

[MaxieMoo]

Anyone who’s there or listening...

does anyone watch the crown?
My little girls, god love them, have been so bad this evening!
I think my eldest is being bullied at school she’s kind of touched on what’s going on but I don’t know what to do

Not watched the crown but love anything royal / historical. I might give it a go.

Felt a bit crap on Monday so watched Pride and Prejudice to cheer me up.

 

[calmyourritas]

Have you asked him to explain why another woman is texting him “when can I have you?”

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

Instagram, linked in, Twitter? Have a look on all of those would be my advice. Wonder what her hubby would think?!

This was my initial argument. If Im pissed off and upset how will he feel.

 

[McNuggets]

Are you okay?

 

[Say What]

I’d recommend a cat if you’re a shift worker because a lot of dogs don’t like to be left a long time and it can be detrimental to them. Cats on the other hand don’t care and will still come for food and attention

 

[Flossy2019]

I want a dog so badly
But with my husband away and me working 10/12 hour shifts I’m worried

although I know my mother in law would rather look after a dog than my girls

Ahh I know it isn’t fair but is there a dog walker in your area? Or get a cat or a house rabbit

 

[HenryHenchcliffe]

Honestly, hearing things like “when can I have you?” - I wouldn’t put up with that.

don’t let him treat you like shit xx

The problem is I dont have context and I dont want to blow it out of proportion.

 

[Beverley Macker]

Hope he’s back home now Maka

 

[AC55]

@Makaraka do you have Netflix? I would highly recommend Ozark, Narcos and Narcos Mexico. There's a character in Ozark called Darlene Snell and she's just like Ma Barker! glad you're feeling better today. You are the best mother to your girls and don't ever doubt that. Whatever you're doing right now, just take a moment and think about how much you love them and how much they love you, then get yourself settled in the couch and relax. We are all here for you. Xxx

 

[Raininvain]

Can you talk to your husband about him possibly getting a new job close to home? It must be very tough bringing up two children totally by yourself. Its not fair on you. Theres other work out there whatever your circumstances. Hope your feeling better soon, keep reaching out to people and ring the Samaritans if things get too much.

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

I’ve watched all but the most recent series of the Crown. Loved it so far but worried about what’s being said about the most recent ones. Saving it for when I’m in the mood for it.

Your dear kiddo. Mine are a bit older now, so a different set of worries. But I remember the time well, when parenting seemed like you’re part therapist to them, part advocate for them, all while trying not to throttle other people’s children for hurting yours (I don’t condone violence, but I felt mama rage often).. keeping my reactions in check helped keep the dialogue going with my kids. It’s so so hard sometimes. Big hugs.