IAmSarahJay #11 Mumchausens-by-Doxxy

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mchops

mchops

When did she move from the east end to lewisham? What experience of growing up had more impact on her being hard as nails, putting up with no tit.
Soz writing fantasy screenplay
 
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EllaEm87

EllaEm87

Left over takeaway was it? Nah, she’s decided she couldn’t be arsed to get off the sofa and ordered in again.
 
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griftalo

griftalo

L3moning said:
It's really bleeping tempting to post a selfie in this thread now, just to spite her, but I SHAN'T.
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I feel you! She’s younger but looks well older than me. Someone off t’telleh asked me no less than three times what I use on my skin 😂
 
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Jelly Bean

Jelly Bean

griftalo said:
As I mobility scoot through the shadow of death

I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left

'Cause I've been griftin' and twattin' so long that

Even mu momma thinks that my mind is gone

But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it (cos I’m no victim witches)

Mu budget like normal folk, you know that's unheard of

You better watch how you talkin' and where you walkin'

Or you and your homies might get a sausage pointed at them

I really hate to walk but I gotta taxi

As my ankle crack, I see myself in the snack aisle

Fool, I'm the kinda scuzz the little tattlers wanna be like

On my knees in the night, sayin' prayers for a screwdriver

Been spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

Been spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

Look at the situation they got me facing

I can't budget normal life, I was raised by the street

So I gotta be down with the hood team

Too much television watchin', got me lazy as duck

I'm a poorlyeducated fool with money on my mind

Got my crowdfunded ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye

I'm a porked up granny, set trippin' banger&mash (only it got left in the hall)

And my shopping is done so don't arouse my anger

(While I beg at the till)

Food, more ain't nothin' but a grift away

I'm not livin' life do or die, what can I say?

I'm nearly 50 now but I look fifty five

The way things is going I don't know

Tell me why am mu so blind to see

That the ones mu hurt are drib and drab

Been spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

Been spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a half assembled flatpack dump

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in a second freezer for chips

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in a false economical farce

Power and the money, money and the grift

Minute after minute, hour after hour

Everybody's runnin', but not me cos mu ankle, owee

It's going on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin' (I’m too lazy)

They say I gotta learn, but nobody's here to teach me

If I can't understand it, how can they reach me?

I guess they can't, I guess they won't

I guess they jealous, that's why I know my life is out of control, fool

My kids spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

My kids spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a scuzzy hellhole

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in sausage finger paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in a second freezer for chips

Tell me why am i so blind to see

That the ones mu hurt are chip and dale.

Tell me why am i so blind to see

That the ones I hurt are slip and slop?
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Not doing a Sarah - up in the night for legitimate reasons (elderly dog - weak bladder, his not mine) and read this again. I've literally laughed til the tears ran.
This couplet particularly -

You better watch how you talkin' and where you walkin'

Or you and your homies might get a sausage pointed at them
 
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