People really have no manners at times! It’s true what they say weddings really bring out the best and worst in people
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That is horrible. I hope you are doing ok xNot specifically hen party but included
Fast forward to wedding the month later and it was postponed due to covid so didn’t go ahead. I got diagnosed with cancer last summer and lost my hair and was still getting treatment for the new wedding date in autumn 2020.
The bride messaged me all of twice, once when I was diagnosed and then once again to say she was going ahead with the new date for the wedding and to “check” I still wasn’t able to be bridesmaid.
Obviously I wasn’t. I got out of radiotherapy treatment the day of the wedding and seen she had replaced me as bridesmaid with another girl we know that we aren’t even friendly with. She still to this day has never even told me or had the manners to say about it. I only learned of the new bridesmaid via Facebook and Instagram and asked another friend of ours if that was the case as she had the same colour dress as the bridesmaids.
Feels so weird even typing that out I feel bad even saying about it
Reminds me of an episode of judge judy that I watched about a woman being out of pocket on hen night costs and then also being uninvited . The bride was fuming when judy awarded costs to the organiser and tried to plead but judy basically called her a satan bride and told her to shut up
Being invited on one.
There is! Good luck!
Anyone know if there is a thread with hen do ideas?
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Thank you! X
My cousin went on a hen do a couple of years ago. The bride and one of her friends were skipping along the street holding hands after a LOT of cocktails. The friend tripped up and still holding the brides hand pulled her down too. The bride chipped her front teeth and had a fat lip. 3 weeks before the wedding 
. She couldn’t get an appointment with her dentist to get the teeth sorted so ended up paying 100s to go private.
On my own hen do during a game of pin the penis on the hunk
I was blind folded and spun around. Ended up walking straight into a wall and bashing my forehand. Luckily this was 2 months before my wedding so had plenty of time to heal 
. She couldn’t get an appointment with her dentist to get the teeth sorted so ended up paying 100s to go private. On my own hen do during a game of pin the penis on the hunk
I was blind folded and spun around. Ended up walking straight into a wall and bashing my forehand. Luckily this was 2 months before my wedding so had plenty of time to heal Back in the early 1990s, my aunt was in the audience on a TV chat show that a couple she was close friends were appearing on. They'd recently got married and had gone on the show to discuss why each was OK with the other having strippers at the hen/stag party. The host played a clip from the hen party where my aunt could be seen staggering around, squealing when the stripper tried to touch her, and sinking in mud as she walked across a field! Not that bad comparatively but she thinks the whole thing was terribly embarrassing. My grandparents at one point had a video of the episode, I wonder if it's still around somewhere ...
I've got a large family and all my cousins are mostly females, so I've been bridesmaid 6 times! Weird thing is I'm only really close to 2 of them but it's almost like in my family they think if you're a female you must be asked to be a bridesmaid.
Problem is, I'm the youngest - so they'll all expect to be bridesmaid for me when I get married (they've already expressed this) and they've all now had children too so will expect their children to be flowergirls too! One of my cousins was infuriated when the other cousin didn't ask her twins to be flower girls (despite the fact the bride had her own 2 doing it!). I think it's ridiculous that people think they can be entitled to be part of your bridal party, but whatever, that seems to be the status quo in my family!
This thread has made me think eloping and not telling anyone is the best way! I am very different to my cousins, who are all big drinkers - I don't drink at all. So I know if they did organise me a hen it would be something I'd absolutely hate!
Of all the hen do's I've been on, the thing that sticks in my mind is always how expensive it ends up being! You always get quoted £X amount then it just seems to keep creeping up and up and up. I'm always more than happy to chip in extra to pay for the bride, but it always just ends up in being a massive expense for something that isn't even that enjoyable!
The worst one was when we went to a theme park 4 hours from where we live - I was designated driver due to not being a drinker (we had an overnight stay so we could go out too) and not one person offered to chip in for fuel!
Problem is, I'm the youngest - so they'll all expect to be bridesmaid for me when I get married (they've already expressed this) and they've all now had children too so will expect their children to be flowergirls too! One of my cousins was infuriated when the other cousin didn't ask her twins to be flower girls (despite the fact the bride had her own 2 doing it!). I think it's ridiculous that people think they can be entitled to be part of your bridal party, but whatever, that seems to be the status quo in my family!
This thread has made me think eloping and not telling anyone is the best way! I am very different to my cousins, who are all big drinkers - I don't drink at all. So I know if they did organise me a hen it would be something I'd absolutely hate!
Of all the hen do's I've been on, the thing that sticks in my mind is always how expensive it ends up being! You always get quoted £X amount then it just seems to keep creeping up and up and up. I'm always more than happy to chip in extra to pay for the bride, but it always just ends up in being a massive expense for something that isn't even that enjoyable!
The worst one was when we went to a theme park 4 hours from where we live - I was designated driver due to not being a drinker (we had an overnight stay so we could go out too) and not one person offered to chip in for fuel!
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Got a hen do coming up that so far hasn’t been much of a drama although I’m just a guest and had nothing to do with organising it. It was originally going to be a couple of nights abroad but that didn’t happen because of the pandemic. I wasn’t going to go to this because I couldn’t really afford it & would rather have put the money towards a family holiday with my partner & kids as we haven’t been abroad for a few years. No one had an issue with people not being able to go, that was fine no drama. Anyway now its going to be hiring an area out in a nice pub with food and drinks, much cheaper so I’ve agreed to this, paid for my food up front etc. Few weeks later they’ve organised a whole day thing as well as travel to the pub. The price was starting to get a bit steep, what was planned wasn’t really my thing so I’ve just said I’m busy during the day and can only make it to the evening thing, they’re also planning on going to a club after the pub but I won’t be going to that either as I’m a bit skint atm. Problem is I think I’m the only person going straight to the pub, so I’m so nervous about walking into the pub on my own to a room of women some of who I barely know, don’t know at all, or are people I used to be good friends with but haven’t spoken to for years won’t be drinking either as I’ll be driving myself there and back so I’m worried I’m going to feel awkward all evening or be sat on my own. I’m friends with the bride obviously but doubt I will get much chance to actually speak to her as she has lots of friends & family attending. We have also been told that we can’t wear a certain colour to the hen do because the bride will be wearing that colour and that would be fine but I don’t have many ‘night out’ clothes and the one thing I was planning on wearing is the colour we’ve been told not to wear, so I really don’t know what I’m going to wear and im nervous as hell about the whole thing, I have some things in mind but haven’t got around to trying them on yet and the clock is ticking I’ve only got a few days left
I really wouldn’t want a hen do for myself I don’t think. If I did I would have to organise it myself and it wouldn’t be anything extravagant, probably just a meal somewhere decent then drinks after if I felt like it. But I really cba with the fuss and stress. I think having a hen do abroad is fine, but it’s also a big ask and you have to be prepared for people to not be able to go for a multitude of reasons. Although, people should also be up front from the start and not say they can go and then change their mind when its too late and everyone else has to pick up the burden.
won’t be drinking either as I’ll be driving myself there and back so I’m worried I’m going to feel awkward all evening or be sat on my own. I’m friends with the bride obviously but doubt I will get much chance to actually speak to her as she has lots of friends & family attending. We have also been told that we can’t wear a certain colour to the hen do because the bride will be wearing that colour and that would be fine but I don’t have many ‘night out’ clothes and the one thing I was planning on wearing is the colour we’ve been told not to wear, so I really don’t know what I’m going to wear and im nervous as hell about the whole thing, I have some things in mind but haven’t got around to trying them on yet and the clock is ticking I’ve only got a few days leftI really wouldn’t want a hen do for myself I don’t think. If I did I would have to organise it myself and it wouldn’t be anything extravagant, probably just a meal somewhere decent then drinks after if I felt like it. But I really cba with the fuss and stress. I think having a hen do abroad is fine, but it’s also a big ask and you have to be prepared for people to not be able to go for a multitude of reasons. Although, people should also be up front from the start and not say they can go and then change their mind when its too late and everyone else has to pick up the burden.
Do what I do, write off the money, it’s paid whether you go or not. And then go sick, no one moans about it when you’ve paid because they think you showed commitment and must be genuine. See it that you’ve spent the money to swerve it and enjoy your evening in pjs with ice cream. Life is too short for crappy awkward nights out. Also the plus side of a pandemic is you only need to say you have covid symptoms and waiting on pcr and no one wants you anywhere near them xGot a hen do coming up that so far hasn’t been much of a drama although I’m just a guest and had nothing to do with organising it. It was originally going to be a couple of nights abroad but that didn’t happen because of the pandemic. I wasn’t going to go to this because I couldn’t really afford it & would rather have put the money towards a family holiday with my partner & kids as we haven’t been abroad for a few years. No one had an issue with people not being able to go, that was fine no drama. Anyway now its going to be hiring an area out in a nice pub with food and drinks, much cheaper so I’ve agreed to this, paid for my food up front etc. Few weeks later they’ve organised a whole day thing as well as travel to the pub. The price was starting to get a bit steep, what was planned wasn’t really my thing so I’ve just said I’m busy during the day and can only make it to the evening thing, they’re also planning on going to a club after the pub but I won’t be going to that either as I’m a bit skint atm. Problem is I think I’m the only person going straight to the pub, so I’m so nervous about walking into the pub on my own to a room of women some of who I barely know, don’t know at all, or are people I used to be good friends with but haven’t spoken to for years
I really wouldn’t want a hen do for myself I don’t think. If I did I would have to organise it myself and it wouldn’t be anything extravagant, probably just a meal somewhere decent then drinks after if I felt like it. But I really cba with the fuss and stress. I think having a hen do abroad is fine, but it’s also a big ask and you have to be prepared for people to not be able to go for a multitude of reasons. Although, people should also be up front from the start and not say they can go and then change their mind when its too late and everyone else has to pick up the burden.
I've only been on one hen do (my sister's) and I would never do another. It wasn't that bad really, just my idea of hell being surrounded by 20 women (17 of whom I barely knew!) We had a weekend in Liverpool, renting 5 apartments between us. I had to share with my mum, sisters MIL, and SIL, MILs cousin and a random friend who knew no one at all (who turned out to be absolutely lovely) MIL kept smoking in the apartment even though it was banned. SIL turned up late and was a diva throughout. MIL (the smoker) used girl who knew no one's toothbrush 
Chief bridesmaid made us stump up an extra tenner each for cocktails and nibbles before we went out, ended up being a couple of bottles of rum and some cocktail sausages. There were really awkward games where we had to discuss our embarrassing sex stories (learned far more about my mother than I bargained for that night) We dressed up in circus theme fancy dress (there were 12 mimes and 5 clowns, no one had communicated )
Cousin got drunk and threw up all over the VIP area of the club so we had to take her home early.
No one thought to arrange anything for the middle day in Liverpool so we broke off into separate groups and did our own thing. There were 2 different friendship groups and 2 family groups (plus the girl who knew no-one, who ended up with us) so it was really weird and we never felt like we really spent it together.
I'm definitely not having a hen do. Not like that anyway. Afternoon tea or a nice meal will be fine, no need for fancy dress or plastic willy straws for me, thank you!
Chief bridesmaid made us stump up an extra tenner each for cocktails and nibbles before we went out, ended up being a couple of bottles of rum and some cocktail sausages. There were really awkward games where we had to discuss our embarrassing sex stories (learned far more about my mother than I bargained for that night
) We dressed up in circus theme fancy dress (there were 12 mimes and 5 clowns, no one had communicated ) Cousin got drunk and threw up all over the VIP area of the club so we had to take her home early.
No one thought to arrange anything for the middle day in Liverpool so we broke off into separate groups and did our own thing. There were 2 different friendship groups and 2 family groups (plus the girl who knew no-one, who ended up with us) so it was really weird and we never felt like we really spent it together.
I'm definitely not having a hen do. Not like that anyway. Afternoon tea or a nice meal will be fine, no need for fancy dress or plastic willy straws for me, thank you!
I won’t lie this has crossed my mind! In a way although I’m worried about going I do want to go because I’ve been friends with the bride for a long time and I want to celebrate with her and I’ve not seen her for ages and even just showing my face is something, so it’s a tough one. I don’t want to let my anxiety win either, it could all turn out to be fine and I enjoy myself. This hen do seems pretty tame compared to some of the ones described in this thread!
Did have my second covid vaccine this week so who knows maybe I’ll get side effects that mean I can’t make it
I’ve organised 6: 4 in the U.K. and 2 abroad. Last one was the start of this month and I’ve decided never again. It was the most stressful, not least because I’m also in the middle of trying to move house, but post-Covid prices and regulations just made it harder. Having to organise by committee and wait for payment slows everything down, so much so things are no longer available by the time you’ve got agreement and a deposit.
Then you have people say they’ll come, then pulling out after paying and expecting a refund within 5 mins despite you waiting 5 weeks for their money in the first place and being out of pocket yourself until somewhere refunds you (hotel room via Booking.com took 16 working days for a refund).
Trying to get anyone anywhere on time is a living nightmare not least because you’re told if you’re more than 10 minutes late your table will be given away, but you can’t go on ahead because everyone has regressed to a childlike state and are unable to follow Google maps.
Other nightmares on the weekends:
* Girl said she’d come, left me out of pocket for all her costs by not paying, not turning up and then also skipping the wedding. This was in the early days of Facebook and she was spotted at a party elsewhere drinking all night despite claiming to have the flu.
* Bride I’m no longer friends with had a meltdown because the fridge at the apartment we were staying in had a ‘funny smell’. She was offered our apartment but said no. I got them to offer a different apartment she said no. Just moaned for an hour and a half rather than getting ready and then made us late for every single thing I’d organised. This led to us missing guest list (queue jump and free) entry to a club and her kicking off and expecting us to traipse round London in heels trying to find somewhere else.
At the end of the night we could not get a taxi for love nor money (this was pre-Uber) but she refused to get in the first one that came along, then waited with the rest of us bitching about the girls who did take the taxi and about me for not organising it better. She’d booked a dodgy spa at a hotel for treatments and I’d had a paraffin foot treatment that had gone wrong and taken skin off my feet (temperature of the wax my feet were forcibly plunged into was about 3 degrees hotter than the sun) so by the time I got back to the apartment at almost 5am my feet were bleeding and took 2 weeks to heal.
* One woman who came along because the bride said she felt guilty not inviting her had a mini psychotic episode, barricaded herself in a room (she was sharing with someone) and wouldn’t let anyone in for several hours. Same woman said she’d lost her passport whilst we were on our way to the airport, got the taxi driver to turn around and then pulled it out of her bag 5 mins later saying it was a joke. I could have opened up the door and pushed her out onto the motorway to be honest.
Then you have people say they’ll come, then pulling out after paying and expecting a refund within 5 mins despite you waiting 5 weeks for their money in the first place and being out of pocket yourself until somewhere refunds you (hotel room via Booking.com took 16 working days for a refund).
Trying to get anyone anywhere on time is a living nightmare not least because you’re told if you’re more than 10 minutes late your table will be given away, but you can’t go on ahead because everyone has regressed to a childlike state and are unable to follow Google maps.
Other nightmares on the weekends:
* Girl said she’d come, left me out of pocket for all her costs by not paying, not turning up and then also skipping the wedding. This was in the early days of Facebook and she was spotted at a party elsewhere drinking all night despite claiming to have the flu.
* Bride I’m no longer friends with had a meltdown because the fridge at the apartment we were staying in had a ‘funny smell’. She was offered our apartment but said no. I got them to offer a different apartment she said no. Just moaned for an hour and a half rather than getting ready and then made us late for every single thing I’d organised. This led to us missing guest list (queue jump and free) entry to a club and her kicking off and expecting us to traipse round London in heels trying to find somewhere else.
At the end of the night we could not get a taxi for love nor money (this was pre-Uber) but she refused to get in the first one that came along, then waited with the rest of us bitching about the girls who did take the taxi and about me for not organising it better. She’d booked a dodgy spa at a hotel for treatments and I’d had a paraffin foot treatment that had gone wrong and taken skin off my feet (temperature of the wax my feet were forcibly plunged into was about 3 degrees hotter than the sun) so by the time I got back to the apartment at almost 5am my feet were bleeding and took 2 weeks to heal.
* One woman who came along because the bride said she felt guilty not inviting her had a mini psychotic episode, barricaded herself in a room (she was sharing with someone) and wouldn’t let anyone in for several hours. Same woman said she’d lost her passport whilst we were on our way to the airport, got the taxi driver to turn around and then pulled it out of her bag 5 mins later saying it was a joke. I could have opened up the door and pushed her out onto the motorway to be honest.
Currently planning another hen do and no massive dramas but it’s stressful. Got one hen that doesn’t realise her only job is to turn up and keeps suggesting activities and whatnot that the bride would be really unhappy with- it’s like she’s just suggesting things she’d want to do. I’ve got one hen that’s had a baby earlier this year and waited until last minute to tell me she’s dropping out because she doesn’t want to leave her baby overnight- which on one hand I get but if it was her hen do and the bride did that she’d get told shes “not supportive” or there for her. I keep getting side messages with suggestions and stuff and in the end it got so overwhelming with this planning and what’s going on in my own life that I’ve just ignored everything that’s not in the group chat. Then the bride is wanting super regular updates and more info but I’m trying to get her to chill and go with the surprise.
I’m sorry used someone else’s toothbrushI've only been on one hen do (my sister's) and I would never do another. It wasn't that bad really, just my idea of hell being surrounded by 20 women (17 of whom I barely knew!) We had a weekend in Liverpool, renting 5 apartments between us. I had to share with my mum, sisters MIL, and SIL, MILs cousin and a random friend who knew no one at all (who turned out to be absolutely lovely) MIL kept smoking in the apartment even though it was banned. SIL turned up late and was a diva throughout. MIL (the smoker) used girl who knew no one's toothbrush
Chief bridesmaid made us stump up an extra tenner each for cocktails and nibbles before we went out, ended up being a couple of bottles of rum and some cocktail sausages. There were really awkward games where we had to discuss our embarrassing sex stories (learned far more about my mother than I bargained for that night
Cousin got drunk and threw up all over the VIP area of the club so we had to take her home early.
No one thought to arrange anything for the middle day in Liverpool so we broke off into separate groups and did our own thing. There were 2 different friendship groups and 2 family groups (plus the girl who knew no-one, who ended up with us) so it was really weird and we never felt like we really spent it together.
I'm definitely not having a hen do. Not like that anyway. Afternoon tea or a nice meal will be fine, no need for fancy dress or plastic willy straws for me, thank you!
what is wrong with people 
My hen do we could only have 6 of us (sept last year so rule of 6 in bars etc). It was so lovely having such a small group! I’ve been on a few hen dos with 15 plus guests and it’s too much
My hen do was awful. My sister took over the organising, it may be worth noting that she’s 20 years older than me. so we had dinner at her boyfriends restaurant, which was very much a FAMILY place. Full of families. He put us in the basement, all alone, because she’d ordered a bleeping stripper. She’d mentioned the stripper to my two other bridesmaids, and they’d said they didn’t think I’d like it. She said “oh but it will be so funny” and hired one anyway. He was practically teabagging one of my friends who was 9 months pregnant at the time and my sister ended up rolling around on the floor with him. Then we literally went to the pub over the road which was full of drunk people my sisters age doing karaoke.
I went home early.
I’m engaged again now, and if I have a hen I’m planning it myself.
I went home early.
I’m engaged again now, and if I have a hen I’m planning it myself.
Look on the bright side - it couldn’t be worse!
It is a strange phenomena that organisers or other guests suggest things that the bride would hate - often they organise something they’d enjoy doing. Or they want something cheap and easy.
One suggestion I had before was going along to a chain bar where they had groups of hen parties turn up around 3pm to all partake in some activities (like a kids party) fuelled by really cheap jugs of sugar-laden but watered down cocktails followed by a buffet meal, some strippers and then a disco.
I could not think of any way of making someone’s hen party less special. The person who suggested it said it was “well cheap and would be a laugh”
