I just randomly saw this thread and was reading through and one of the posts really summed up how I feel about a certain relationship, I think the words were never being able to get over the feeling of your heart being shattered into a million pieces. So I hope you don't mind if get it off my chest here as I've never really talked about it!
Once upon a time, I met a guy at work and I didn’t know much about him but for some reason, I was absolutely infatuated with him! We started casually seeing each other but he would often disappear for hours on an evening and completely go off the radar, phone off etc and eventually he admitted he was meeting a “friend” who had a lot of issues and he was trying to help as she had no one else looking out for her. Me being me I trusted him and even gave advice on how to help her etc. After a short time, I questioned him more on who she was and he admitted she was his ex-girlfriend but promised nothing was still going on with her and again I trusted him, I think partly because I had no reason not to and I was also wearing a very large pair of rose-tinted glasses. Eventually, he said he was going to cut all contact with her as it was for the best and we were getting more serious and she was coming between me and him and he didn't want that. Then came THE weekend. I saw him on the Friday at work and the last thing he said was he going to meet her that evening and tell her he couldn't see her anymore and cut contact with her and he would call me after. 8pm, 9pm, 10pm came around and I heard nothing. After 11pm I text him saying I was worried. He had told me that when he previously tried to stop seeing her she threatened to harm herself or him, which added to my worry. The message didn't deliver but I sent another. After midnight, I called him. It rang but no answer so again I sent another message. I eventually slept and when I woke I could see he had read my messages but not replied. I tried calling but it went straight to answer phone. I sent another message but it didn't deliver for hours. I spent all day watching my phone, I couldn't think about anything, I couldn't eat, I couldn't hold a conversation with anyone, I was going out of my mind and my heart was slowly breaking. He eventually sent me a message at about 5pm - "Sorry. I am a twit". That was it. That was the moment my heart shattered and all the pennies finally dropped about what was really going on. Of course, I replied. I sent him essays. I was left on read the rest of the weekend. I finally spoke to him on Monday morning before work. All he could say to me was he was sorry, he was an idiot. This is what he does. His life is complicated, he needs to go and he would speak to me later. I felt broken. I pulled up at work and just cried. The thought of seeing him and not being "us" anymore was making me feel ill. Of course, we did see each other. We met up at lunch and talked. Of course, the 'friend/ex' was actually his girlfriend. They had been together on and off for years. He had left his wife for her. He told me he did truly fall for me, he couldn't help himself and he does love me but it was all very complicated, he didn't know what to do but ultimately he couldn't end it with his girlfriend. We tried to remain friends, it was difficult, as much as he had shattered me, there were still feelings there and I was weak for him... I went through phases of not wanting to see him or speak to him at all to pining for him then things would happen and eventually we ended up sleeping together again, then he told me he really was finishing with his girlfriend. Sounds pathetic but it gave me a glimmer of hope. I thought we were going to have a chance again. He told me he had ended it but he was going on holiday with some family and changing his number so the ex couldn't contact him and he would see me and talk about us when he was back. He came back to work after 2 weeks away and I found out he had been on holiday with and was back together with his wife. Ding ding heartbreak round 2. Cut to now years later. We still both work at the same place, we see each other around and are friendly. He is still with his wife and I am happily engaged with children but it still hurts. I don't think I will EVER get over how he made me feel that weekend. I was never even officially his girlfriend and that is the worst heartbreak I have ever felt.
Sorry if that was a really boring story but I just feel better for writing it down! Sending love to everyone who has posted their stories on here xxx