Heartbreak.

[Columbo]

@CrazyGiraffeLady my heart goes out to you lovely, I can tell you're hurting I know it's not easy when children are involved but I think you need more time. I know you've agreed to give things another try but you're within your rights to ask him to leave until you've processed things. I think you need to make him sweat and realise he isn't going to get away that lightly. He needs to know what it's like to live without you as that was the risk he took when he stepped outside your marriage and I think it will do you a lot of good as well. It's not too late to backtrack a little if it helps you heal. Hope you're ok and things work out for you xx

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

I totally understand that feeling of going back and forth with your doubts and wondering if you're doing the right thing. What you're going through is horrible and you shouldn't have been put in this position to have to make this decision in the first place. You didn't bring this to yourself, your husband did. He broke the vows you took to each other and disrespected you in the process and that I imagine, would be tough to swallow.

Do you feel like what he's done has tainted the relationship for you in any way?

I do think he’s tainted it yeah because it’s changed me as a person, it’s changed how I look at people, it changed everything and I know that might sound dramatic but it did x

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

@CrazyGiraffeLady my heart goes out to you lovely, I can tell you're hurting I know it's not easy when children are involved but I think you need more time. I know you've agreed to give things another try but you're within your rights to ask him to leave until you've processed things. I think you need to make him sweat and realise he isn't going to get away that lightly. He needs to know what it's like to live without you as that was the risk he took when he stepped outside your marriage and I think it will do you a lot of good as well. It's not too late to backtrack a little if it helps you heal. Hope you're ok and things work out for you xx

You are honestly so right, I am hurting still but I hope things improve xxx

 

[Imonlyme]

I do think he’s tainted it yeah because it’s changed me as a person, it’s changed how I look at people, it changed everything and I know that might sound dramatic but it did x

It doesn't sound dramatic at all. Going through the hurt and betrayal of being cheated on in bound to change you.

Just know that what's happened is absolutely not your fault and like another poster said, you are well within your rights to tell your husband that you need more time to figure out what you want to do. If that's what you want of course.

You told him you are willing to give him another chance, but how long after finding out about the affair did you say that?

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

It doesn't sound dramatic at all. Going through the hurt and betrayal of being cheated on in bound to change you.

Just know that what's happened is absolutely not your fault and like another poster said, you are well within your rights to tell your husband that you need more time to figure out what you want to do. If that's what you want of course.

You told him you are willing to give him another chance, but how long after finding out about the affair did you say that?

Oh no I blame him 100% it was all him and not me. I think it was a week or so

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Oh no I blame him 100% it was all him and not me. I think it was a week or so

A week? You let him back in after 7 days?!!!

I’m honestly baffled with this.

your husband has been having an affair with someone you know, and you give it 7 days before he’s back at home?!

Seriously. What are you doing?!

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

A week? You let him back in after 7 days?!!!

I’m honestly baffled with this.

your husband has been having an affair with someone you know, and you give it 7 days before he’s back at home?!

Seriously. What are you doing?!

I was trying to keep things as normal as possible for my young child x

 

[EmaE]

A week? You let him back in after 7 days?!!!

I’m honestly baffled with this.

your husband has been having an affair with someone you know, and you give it 7 days before he’s back at home?!

Seriously. What are you doing?!

Life is not always straight forward and especially not when love is involved , it’s easy to give advice when it’s not your life

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Life is not always straight forward and especially not when love is involved , it’s easy to give advice when it’s not your life

Oh for goodness sake- this is a gossip forum and this lady has posted here knowing full well what tattle is like!!!! I’m not going to pussyfoot around it, sorry but that’s not my style. Husband has been shagging another woman for who knows how long and he’s not even out the house long enough for the bed to go cold! Nah. He’s the one that’s done wrong here, he’s the one that has messed things up for his child - he should be out on his arse.
he’s literally just got away with this whole thing, no repercussions. He must be thinking he’s got it made.

 

[JoeBloggs]

I was trying to keep things as normal as possible for my young child x

Do you know where he went for that week?

 

[EmaE]

Oh for goodness sake- this is a gossip forum and this lady has posted here knowing full well what tattle is like!!!! I’m not going to pussyfoot around it, sorry but that’s not my style. Husband has been shagging another woman for who knows how long and he’s not even out the house long enough for the bed to go cold! Nah. He’s the one that’s done wrong here, he’s the one that has messed things up for his child - he should be out on his arse.
he’s literally just got away with this whole thing, no repercussions. He must be thinking he’s got it made.

I didn’t say if I agree or disagree , or even gave my opinion on it , that was my point while it my not be your style it’s not your life is it ?! Not everyone is like you , I’m sure the op feels pretty crappy enough about the whole situation with out you pointing out what you would do and intimating she’s completely wrong with how she’s dealing with the situation ! I’ve read your comments to other posters and thought yeah you know what she’s right but your also extremely rude

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I didn’t say if I agree or disagree , or even gave my opinion on it , that was my point while it my not be your style it’s not your life is it ?! Not everyone is like you , I’m sure the op feels pretty crappy enough about the whole situation with out you pointing out what you would do and intimating she’s completely wrong with how she’s dealing with the situation ! I’ve read your comments to other posters and thought yeah you know what she’s right but your also extremely rude

Why do people post on these forums if not to hear other people’s opinions?! How can you say you agree with my previous posts but then say I’m rude?!!! I’m not rude. I’m just not someone who’s going to listen to someone and nod & smile and be all passive when what they are saying is ridiculous. Sorry but if that’s what people are looking for, then tattle is not the place to find it.

 

[EmaE]

Why do people post on these forums if not to hear other people’s opinions?! How can you say you agree with my previous posts but then say I’m rude?!!! I’m not rude. I’m just not someone who’s going to listen to someone and nod & smile and be all passive when what they are saying is ridiculous. Sorry but if that’s what people are looking for, then tattle is not the place to find it.

It’s called tact , try it some time

 

[BettyCrockerr]

It’s called tact , try it some time

No. Sorry. He was sticking his dick in another woman and you are telling me I have no tact? Nice one.

 

[Imonlyme]

Oh no I blame him 100% it was all him and not me. I think it was a week or so

A week is such a short space of time, especially after discovering something as awful as your partner cheating. You probably would have still been in shock with both your heart and mind left reeling from it all.

It's perfectly okay if now, a few months down the line you're not so sure if you done the right thing by taking him back.

Did he beg for another chance? Personally, I think he should have been made sweat for bit after what he done. It sounds like he's gotten away with it a little too easy without having to actually realise how much he's messed up, or what's even at stake because of his selfish actions.

Be careful. After how easy he's had it and how quickly you decided to give him another chance, he may do it again because he will assume you will forgive him just as easy. I know you've said this is his last chance, but he may not see it that way because it's not like he had to work hard to win you back.

I'm not saying you are, but a guy might just look at it as you're a pushover which means he can do what he wants. He lost nothing from his selfish actions, but he did get to have some cheeky fun with his bit on the side and now he's still living it up with his wife and kids in the family home probably feeling like the king he thinks he is.

Sometimes, people need to lose something before they realise what it meant to them. He needs to see that you will not tolerate his betrayal. That cheating is absolutely not okay.

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

Do you know where he went for that week?

Yes, he was at his mum & dads house

 

[JoeBloggs]

Yes, he was at his mum & dads house

I completely appreciate you trying to make it work for your family. For me it would be his behaviour in that week, was he sorry, has he tried to repair things.

As others have said, he hid this well and only admitted it because he had been found out not through guilt or remorse. How long would he have carried it on for? And for me, what she posted on Instagram was a lot more than a few shags type of affair. Please do not think you have to make this work if you are not happy.

 

[Imonlyme]

I was trying to keep things as normal as possible for my young child x

Do you know what's keeping a child's life as normal as possible? When their mother is happy and not going through tit because of the selfish actions of a father. It doesn't matter if the dad is there if the house isn't happy.

Your husband wasn't thinking of his child while he was sneaking off to bed another woman. In putting yourself first and making you happy, you ultimately help your child. Think of it this way: how much time and moments have been stolen from you spending actual quality time with your kids because your mind was somewhere else thinking about what he's done?

How many times have you maybe snapped at your kids because your mood was off because of the way your husband has made you feel? We've all been there, we've all snapped at our kids because of stress. But the stress he's put on your family was completely selfish and unnecessary. He also put your family at an even greater risk by sleeping around during a pandemic.

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

A week is such a short space of time, especially after discovering something as awful as your partner cheating. You probably would have still been in shock with both your heart and mind left reeling from it all.

It's perfectly okay if now, a few months down the line you're not so sure if you done the right thing by taking him back.

Did he beg for another chance? Personally, I think he should have been made sweat for bit after what he done. It sounds like he's gotten away with it a little too easy without having to actually realise how much he's messed up, or what's even at stake because of his selfish actions.

Be careful. After how easy he's had it and how quickly you decided to give him another chance, he may do it again because he will assume you will forgive him just as easy. I know you've said this is his last chance, but he may not see it that way because it's not like he had to work hard to win you back.

I'm not saying you are, but a guy might just look at it as you're a pushover which means he can do what he wants. He lost nothing from his selfish actions, but he did get to have some cheeky fun with his bit on the side and now he's still living it up with his wife and kids in the family home probably feeling like the king he thinks he is.

Sometimes, people need to lose something before they realise what it meant to them. He needs to see that you will not tolerate his betrayal. That cheating is absolutely not okay.

I do understand what everyone’s saying and not everyone would have done it the way I did and that’s okay. Yeah I was still in shock it shattered my whole life and maybe he did come back to quickly but it seemed the right thing to do at the time, the house is in both our names but I have family that would help me with another deposit/fees to rent again so I always have the option of moving on elsewhere. I have made myself very clear to him that if anything however small happens again that’s it we’re done. I mentioned yesterday to him maybe we should divorce because he shat all over our wedding vows. I’m not the pushover people may think I am. It’s so painful when the one person you’d go to for everything is the one causing your pain it’s confusing. He knows he’s on thin ice with me and I won’t tolerate anything else x

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I was trying to keep things as normal as possible for my young child x

He wasn’t thinking about the welfare of your child when he was having sex with another woman....
he doesn’t deserve you or the family unit you have built.

I do understand what everyone’s saying and not everyone would have done it the way I did and that’s okay. Yeah I was still in shock it shattered my whole life and maybe he did come back to quickly but it seemed the right thing to do at the time, the house is in both our names but I have family that would help me with another deposit/fees to rent again so I always have the option of moving on elsewhere. I have made myself very clear to him that if anything however small happens again that’s it we’re done. I mentioned yesterday to him maybe we should divorce because he shat all over our wedding vows. I’m not the pushover people may think I am. It’s so painful when the one person you’d go to for everything is the one causing your pain it’s confusing. He knows he’s on thin ice with me and I won’t tolerate anything else x

The thing is though - you aren’t going to know if he wanders again are you? He was being deliberately deceitful before, so he will just do it again but try to cover it up even more than before. This is what I’m getting at - he’s been unfaithful, he’s been having a full blown affair and you may not even know the full extent of it or even if she was the first one he’s cheated with or if there are more women he’s been at it with! He’s already broken those vows - it just seems pointless in trying to now lay down these boundaries when he clearly doesn’t give a tit you know?