Heartbreak.

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Sorry to hear you're feeling down. So, sending you lots of love

I know it hurts just now, and I'm glad he was honest with you instead of stringing you along, but it's better you know now and not a lot further down the road, where things could have gotten really messy.

You're worth so much more than to be someone's rebound or gap filler. You deserve someone who will make you their one and only.

Can I ask how long you guys were together?
 
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thank you we were only seeing each other a couple of months but I had the best time and, before he realised all this on the weekend (all happened pretty abruptly) we had nothing but an amazing and really lovely time together. I think he panicked but ultimately I do really miss hearing from him as I think things could’ve been great
 
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Honestly you are better off out of it. He’s still got feelings for his ex, it would never have ended well, he would have done you dirty and dropped you for her eventually. You are better off out of it now before you got in deeper. It sucks but you’ll be ok - give yourself a week or so to feel a bit crap, watch some films, have a few drinks etc and then pick yourself up and crack on.
what’s for you won’t go by you, just remember that x
 
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I broke up with my partner last week, neither of us really wanted it I don’t think but he had reasons. I haven’t slept, haven’t got out of bed and I’ve hardly ate at all since then. I’m totally heartbroken but now he wants to meet me tomorrow and I’m hopeful that it will be good news but trying not to get my hopes up.

apologies for the grammar, I keep rewording and it still reads terribly!
 
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Big hugs. Don't let him make you into a yoyo while he tries to decide what he wants.
 
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Big hugs. Don't let him make you into a yoyo while he tries to decide what he wants.
Agree. Don’t allow him to call all the shots. It’s hard to give advice without knowing that much but if he’s backed out of the relationship then don’t allow him to fuck you around going forwards. He’s either in or out - don’t put up with any “I need some time/it’s not you it’s me/I need a break” bullshit.
 
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Sending big hugs. As the others have said - do not let him mess you around at all
 
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Be strong and don't listen to shit. Don't let him have his cake and eat it.

Without knowing much about your situation I will say - as difficult as it is right now it will work out. You don't want to be with someone who drops you like a hot potato.
 
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Thank you all, we’re back together... but I’m kinda expecting something bad to happen?
 
Thank you all, we’re back together... but I’m kinda expecting something bad to happen?
When you say you are back together, what has happened to resolve the situation?? Why did you split up and what’s changed to bring you back together??
 
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When you say you are back together, what has happened to resolve the situation?? Why did you split up and what’s changed to bring you back together??
I really want to tell you guys for opinions because I haven’t told anyone irl, but the reasons are too specific.
 
Thank you all, we’re back together... but I’m kinda expecting something bad to happen?
I understand this so much, I found out end of January my husband had a month long affair and although we’re trying to save the marriage I’m always on edge
 
I understand this so much, I found out end of January my husband had a month long affair and although we’re trying to save the marriage I’m always on edge
I don't blame you! Can I ask how you found it? Did you catch him out? Or did he confess of his own accord?
 
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I don't blame you! Can I ask how you found it? Did you catch him out? Or did he confess of his own accord?
I’d had a gut feeling for a while and already checked his phone when he was asleep, this one particular night I couldn’t sleep the gut instinct was so strong and I reasoned with my self if I find nothing I’ll fall asleep and I checked his deleted pics (on iPhone) and then slowly I could feel my blood running cold, I woke him up and said how many times did you sleep with “name” I honestly expected him to say he didn’t and he said 3 times, I told him he was out by 8am (this was 3am). Some days were a normal couple and other days I honestly think of leaving. He’s the type you’d never ever expect it from everyone was as shocked as me.
 
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Sorry to hear that. But glad you trusted your gut instinct, it's there for a reason.

The fact that you found out and it wasn't his guilty conscience that forced him to confess makes me wonder just how long he would have kept the affair going if you hadn't.

I'm sorry to say this but most often in any relationship when trust has been broken in such a way as this, it can be extremely hard to get it back. Make sure you're trying to make it work for the right reasons and not just because you're married and feel like it’s your duty to try and make it work.

Can I ask how this cheating has affected your trust of him? Are you constantly looking out for signs of infidelity again? Are you constantly questioning him, or feeling paranoid? Have you checked his phone since? Has the affair been brought up in any rows or arguments?

And most importantly, how has he treated you since he was found out?
 
If you hadn’t checked his phone, he would have carried on. It wasn’t a drunken fumble or one off mistake, it was deliberate infidelity and deceit. You’ve taken him back and honestly, if he’s done it once and you’ve essentially forgiven him and taken him back he will do it to you again.
 
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Agree! By forgiving a cheater and taking him back, you're essentially setting the tone on how you expect to be treated and what you will accept going forward. It's not a good foundation for a relationship that's supposed to be founded on trust and respect.

Personally, and through experiences I've watched with people close to me, a relationship can never truly come back from an affair. Trust is broken and feelings have been shattered. Sometimes trying to repair a situation like that can cause more mental and emotional damage than the cheating itself.
 
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