Breaking
In the last ten minutes the Office of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have announced that Meghan the Duchess of Sussex has been rushed to the chiropodist.
We go over to a Penkse Media reporter who will make up a whole bunch of tit that never happened, and include Catherine the Princess of Wales in a click bait title - though they won't as they will dead-name her as Kate Middleton.
"It it understood that the Duchess of Sussex was due to attend for her regular bunion laser treatment when the chiropodist discovered a verruca. The Duchess was obviously very shocked by this discovery, as Harry had promised to stop wearing her shoes. From what we understand the Duchess is doing well. And is sitting up in bed reading copies of the Bench, Spare, Finding Freedom and Endgame, as well as the issue of Vogue that she guest edited - all available from her new website American Bauxite Ostrich."
It is unclear when the Duchess will return to work following this health scare.
A spokes-huperson said "The chiropodist has placed the il Duce on a course of Bazuka gel. This is obviously very tiring to apply. We will have to wait and see when Prince William announces his engagements to find out when philanthropist, feminist icon, and beloved world leader, Megan, will return to "work".