I think insults are a bit like that definition of porn…I know it when I see it. I can tell by the person's demeanor, the context, the delivery. And I can tell when it’s social awkwardness or just curiosity.
There is way too much artifice and exaggeration in this selective empathy of the Woke. Every freaking thing is just an unbearable soul destroying moment. Really?
My dear brother-in-law was Jewish…he got me a job one summer when I was home from University at a Cabana Club where I was the only Christian. Some of the members had a name they called me by…that referenced someone not of their faith. Depending on the context, I guess it could be an insult or so my Sister explained. But, in my case, I felt it was always used with humor and sometimes with a compliment.
I took it that way…not that I was being demeaned or ostracized. It had no life-changing implications.
0ne member once asked me, after she had a few cocktails, how I could say that I believed in God. This came out of nowhere, while I was bringing her another drink. This woman was always very kind to me In other situations. I guess I could have called the local newspaper and played victim, since I was lowly staff and she was a wealthy member, but, as they say…I took it as the “tequila talking.” My own family, in those days would have been embarrased by ME…being so overly sensitive.
We were brought up to give others the benefit of the doubt. Years later, my husband’s career required me to attend many events where small talk with strangers was required. Some people are awkward at it. Some, ask the same thing of you-year after year. I hated being asked year after year…if my daughters were married yet, how were my (dead) parents?…but recognized people were…trying.
I sometimes just lied and said my parents were fine to save embarrassment. .lol
It is commonplace in the Woke culture to lay in wait…to ensnare someone and proclaim great emotional damage. It’s a political power play here in the US, home of Jussie Smollet. No one gets ticked off for the moment anymore…OMG their whole psyche is supposedly irretrievably damaged.
Lookey, lookey, Now this ‘victim warrior” has internationally humiliated an old woman, has the RF groveling to her victimhood and demeaning a once cherished friend…and has given Markle the cover she needs to accept this racism award.
Big mistake. It won’t end well…or end here.
The old lady should have issued an apology…and invited The Tragic Victim to leave her fainting couch and come to tea to discuss the situation. Like Obama's ‘beer summit.’
I would just say ‘yup- wanna come to my barbi? I’m London/Essex and common as muck - not offended in the least - although I found when meeting Americans they would say I’m xxxx from xxxx which saves you asking ‘where you from’? so good opening line from them and saves having to ask - I might start saying I’m Carpe from carpe land - have you been there? 
