I think two things happened here. 1. I think it’s highly possible that Ngozi was expecting racism. 2. Unfortunately, however unintentionally, Lady Susan provided it. I totally agree that Lady Susan is an old woman who probably didn’t mean to be racist. But, nevertheless, what she did can undoubtedly be interpreted as such. I think that the people who organise these events need to be more careful in briefing hosts and in providing “minders” for the more elderly and maybe more non pc hosts to help ensure they don’t put their foot in it. Because regardless of what’s fair or unfair, right or wrong, these missteps will garner huge attention these days and it’s far better to avoid them than have to explain them.
Your point is well taken, but how to you brief hosts when the ‘rules of offense’ keep changing? The scope is ever wider…impossible to keep up. Suppose, to make small talk, I complimented the University the individual attended, by saying it had an excellent competitive swim team?
Well, recent articles here in the US now inform me that swimming is racist. Swim teams in particular are racist because people’s grandparents 75 years ago could not access pools in certain communities. Therefore, nrimging up the sport of swimming would cause such discomfort…it could be now, one suppose, be labeled ‘violence.’
Suppose I complimented the work ethic of so many at their company? ”Work Ethic”implies white supremist values and the whole concept meritorious achievement is racist.
“Your necklsce is interesting, tell me about it”…is disrespectful of the religious connotation of the piece to marginalized indigenous people.
“Do you have children?’…could be anti-feminist and imply that women are not fulfilled unless they birth a child. Etc etc
It is a gotcha game…every expanding.