I used to volunteer at my cathedral. During a ticketed event, one of the other volunteers who had been there for 20 years, asked the visitor waiting next in line for her ‘Christian’ name. I was born in 1983 and remember ‘christian name’ commonly being used, and later outmoded and replaced with forename. The women she asked hit the the roof, going on about this being racist and prejudiced. Look around you luv. You’re in a bleeping cathedral!!! A lot of the volunteers are of an age and are Christians. Take that on board.
Had this person been reasonable and socially sophisticated, she could have asked herself - ‘well, I am in a cathedral, speaking no doubt to a lady of the Christian faith, who looks to be in her advanced ages. There’s no need to take offence in that. There is no malice or malicious intent behind it.’
This thing of feigning outrage and acting like a victim of some oppressive sinister regime is really weaselly and obnoxious. I have no time for it.
This woman went to that palace hoping to encounter some slight so she could rush to social media and tell her tall tale from her POV. She has jeopardised the integrity of her charity for this.
Is there any particular reason why she couldn’t have realised what this lady was getting at (in a rather clumsy way) regarding her ethnic origin and been the better person and just answered the question.
Also, replying to someone as ‘woman’ is pretty aggressive and doesn’t seem like the mark of a particularly polite person. She shouldn’t be acting like she has the moral high ground here. It sounds like a conversation of two women who are socially inept.
Here people ask for your 'caste' (surname). An issue because of casteism - it's really, really bad. I know there's no reasoning with some people, so generally I just tend to reply with 'my surname is ___'. Some correct themselves, some argue.
Some then proceed to ask about my actual caste. I normally reply that I don't know (unless in the context of groom-hunting - then one
has to tell
![Face with rolling eyes :rolling_eyes: 🙄](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f644.png)
). Then they ask about sub-caste and gotra and God knows what else. All of this stuff is determined by the paternal grandfather, and bless his soul, even though mine was a bit of a snob, he at least absolutely refused to discuss this stuff so we don't actually know all of these details
![Face with tears of joy :joy: 😂](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f602.png)
My dad's sister probably knows since her daughters are married (at least one had a caste conversion ceremony
![Face with rolling eyes :rolling_eyes: 🙄](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f644.png)
![Face with rolling eyes :rolling_eyes: 🙄](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f644.png)
), but I have zero interest in finding out. So I just say I don't know, and I suppose I can quote a cool Bollywood dialogue now that grandfather has passed - he'll be proud of me
![Face with tears of joy :joy: 😂](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f602.png)
(the dialogue is - 'yeh raaz bhi unke saath chala gaya'. Transl: This secret has been buried with him)
It's annoying, feels intrusive, and most of all, it upsets me because I am sensitive towards the fact that deciding how to treat someone on the basis of this social construct called caste is just not done.
But then like you said, I have to remember that many people just don't realise that there's a difference between caste and surname, and in some cases, there actually isn't one. It's a language issue, it's 'just a routine question' issue, it's a 'this is how everyone talks' issue.
There's no call to create a scene over it, especially without giving the other person to correct themselves/apologise or even refuse to apologise.
Maybe Lady SH should have stopped when Fulani wasn't being forthcoming, maybe she should have just said oh sorry and moved on. But then we actually don't know how the conversation really went. And watching that clip someone posted, it was clearly quite noisy and maybe Lady SH missed the undercurrent. Even if Fulani didn't want to confront or educate her, which is fair enough, she could have just ended the conversation and later informed someone at the palace and given Lady SH a chance to maybe apologise, instead of taking the matter to the internet, especially when she supposedly knows better than many how sensitive racial matters can be.
But of course she couldn't do that. Pretty sure Smegs set this up to kill two birds - racist BRF, and revenge on Lady SH for daring to try to teach her something/advising against doing something/just for being a woman in a helping role (she allegedly hated women staff).
I just finished watching the last few scenes of a movie about Kashmir, terrorism and the delicate Hindu-Muslim relations in India. Have seen the movie so many times (released when I was in school), but it still hits me pretty hard every time. There's so much strife in the world. Why do people like Smegs and this person keep adding to it? I know it's for money and power, but still, why?!
My migraine is worsening. Way to start my birthday month. Why, December?!
Catherine is looking so smart and soft and warm and professional though - I feel like a kid wanting a cuddle!
![Face with hand over mouth :face_with_hand_over_mouth: 🤭](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f92d.png)
![Heart suit :hearts: ♥](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/2665.png)