Harry and Meghan #98 Haz & Megz threw a toddler's strop. Will their lying ever stop?

[mylifeisasillymoviefail]

This is mummy's chicken run
Where you'll collect the eggs
Sometimes you will kill them
If you don't I'll break ya legs

This is your bench upon
which you'll lay down
And I'll force you to grovel
And give me your crown

 

[Carpediem69]

 

[Bastille]

I cannot believe she’s written a bloody book based on her very own poem.

Holy tit that's so bleeping egotistical BUT if the book was planned years ago then it couldn't be based on a poem she wrote last year. SO MANY LIES

 

[Nuttynana]

I wonder if he sometimes forgets where he is and says the wrong thing. Like, maybe he forgets he's at the vaccine event and he says "It's great to be here with you guys helping Wraiths without Borders distribute hot dogs and fire extinguishers to all the needy villages throughout the land!"



The key word there is "yet." She'll get to it. A lot of us went through hell in 2020, and this woman had the nerve to go on TV and tell us her "suffering" wrapped in security and blood diamonds and how she is OWED. Americans have plenty of reason to dislike her.

No matter what leader it is in America, remember that in most cases half of the electorate didn't vote for them. We don't really have "favorite" leaders here. We have ones who win a coin toss or who pass the smell test among swing voters. The rest of them are romanticized or vilified by the press according to the current agenda. That's about it.



I think it's pretty much all adults now in flyover. I got my second Pfizer shot a week and a half ago and the headache has finally gone away. My father is in a nursing home with dementia and I'm his legal guardian, I have a thyroid condition and a first degree relative died of it. So I have a health condition and someone I'm responsible for who is in the worst place imaginable, and I got ZERO dispensation to get it earlier.



Please do continue!



Another subtle sign that the marriage won't last. Men don't want poems as gifts on special days. They want beer, a jar of nuts and a hammock so they can watch sports until they fall asleep with their mouths hanging open and a small line of drool spilling onto their collar. They do not want poetry, even if it is on the beer or nuts packaging.



I just bought a new coffeemaker and my espresso is all over my screen now, thankyouverymuch



More espresso....



The witch on the Bench by Meghan, Duchess of Blood Diamonds, Marchioness of Check-Cashing and Baroness of Gratuitous Complaints

The Queen of Fellatio and the tart with no heart, yacht girl special can make rhyming words with the biggest dose of hypocrisy ever.


words

 

[Wightgirl]

I need to drink water to rehydrate after an evening crying laughing at the replacement poems, the Ant dream and now Naked attraction on the telly with a 75 yr old.

 

[mystic cat]

Sorry if this has already been posted on here

Meghan Markle slammed by photographer: 'After the camera stops, she's not the most friendly’ (geo.tv)

 

[JAdore]

Sounds like it's been written by Brooklyn Beckham x

That'd be a great no-talent, clinging-to-the-coattails-of-a-relative collaboration.

The Useless Appendage. Story by Harry's Wife. Photos by Victoria-&-David's son. Foreword / blurbs by Jamie / Wayne / Jason (Cundy)'s WAGs.

 

[Nuttynana]

After just watching Baby Surgeons and how brilliant they are, all of this bleeping shite they do is so pathetic and irrelevant. That is what I would call wonderful, worthwhile amazing people.

I have this awful urge to head butt her whilst wearing a steel helmet,I think she is bringing out the worst in me

 

[Rubyronron]

Thanks for the laughter tonight.
OH had the footy on and complained I was making too much noise
At the end of the day she’s a cow

 

[Chita]

I wanted Tiaras, dangly earrings, a crown

I wanted the biggest posh Palace in town

I thought I'd be top of the royal family tree

I thought the Brits wanted me, me, me, ME.

But instead, William and Kate and her Maj Lilibet

are all getting ratings higher than those I get



They won't take back the titles 'cos that'll make them look mean

And in my alternative court I intend to be Queen

If things turn against me or get a little bit hard

I'll trump them again and play the race card.

No one can stop me, this game I have won

Because my golden ticket is Princess Diana's son.



When the Tattlers discovered my moonbump stash

To the safety of Canada I made a quick dash

My ego and confidence couldn't be any bigger

But I think Ive hidden that I'm a gold digger

The world thinks Im amazing Ive fooled everyone

And as my meal ticket Ive got a daughter and son

 

[jackolantern]

This is my bench where I mourn all my losses
My husbands a ginge who doesn’t know who the boss is

This is my stool where I name all my chickens
Should have been a palace but 6th in line is slim pickings

This is my table where I lay calculated cards
I have a weep and a witch coz my lyf is so hard

This is my counter where I stir up my pot
Flog my lies to the press, the UKs racist (the lot!)

This is my bed where I dream of my plans
Could have been bleeping Queen if it wasn’t for the Gran

 

[Bastille]

Sorry if this has already been posted on here

Meghan Markle slammed by photographer: 'After the camera stops, she's not the most friendly’ (geo.tv)

According to the unnamed videographer, Markle came with a large entourage on the shoot location and laid down a strict set of rules specifically pertaining to not shooting her feet.

 

[kev1974]

This instalment of the thread is fast becoming the funniest thing I've ever seen on Tattle

All these fantastic poems and every one of them ten times better than HFEW's ham fisted attempt.

We should put them all in a book. And get Piers Morgan to help flog it to the Daily Mail for serialisation. All proceeds to charity. A real charity, not a fake foundation bullshit.

 

[freda19]

Sounds like it's been written by Brooklyn Beckham x

dot dot dot and looks like it's been illustrated by Harper Beckham.

 

[DollyBlue]

Harry and Meghan #99 As Prince Harry is relegated to The Bench, who will now stop their gruesome Stench?

 

[Chita]

This is my bench where I mourn all my losses
My husbands a ginge who doesn’t know who the boss is

This is my stool where I name all my chickens
Should have been a palace but 6th in line is slim pickings

This is my table where I lay calculated cards
I have a weep and a witch coz my lyf is so hard

This is my counter where I stir up my pot
Flog my lies to the press, the UKs racist (the lot!)

This is my bed where I dream of my plans
Could have been bleeping Queen if it wasn’t for the Gran

LOVE this.


The last line is a killer.

 

[freda19]

I need to drink water to rehydrate after an evening crying laughing at the replacement poems, the Ant dream and now Naked attraction on the telly with a 75 yr old.

Don't mock 75 yr olds bubba ...

 

[mycockapoorules]

You lot are great with all your ditties! HFW should have asked you all for ideas, you win hands down!

 

[Bellaboo83]

Beause the fat blob has probably got them by the balls, or they are too scared to unwoke, cowards

I think they need to look closer to Oprahs camp for this one... She / her Harpo company is shady AF by the sounds of it.. Silencing people left right and center

 

[buflesse]

Apparently JCMH is going to release his book in the summer. Its a reworking of a Dr Seuss classic called "The twit in a hat"

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I am howling