Harry and Meghan #98 Haz & Megz threw a toddler's strop. Will their lying ever stop?

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I was expecting crap text but thought that they would use a talented artist to compensate but no those drawings are awful.
Foreword to book

See the brave squaddie back from the front line, The Sandbag of Helmand! See him hoist our shapeshifter infant Gavin Gringas into the air with joy as I biracially weep for the world at the window of our modest condo. I am everywhere but nowhere, yet I am the centre of the universe. My book explores the touching relationship between Duck and Rabbit as they struggle to establish their Truth in a world of humanitarian crisis and disinformation, and the family loyalty and love that gave them courage when they felt they could no longer go on....
 
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Poetry too; she really tries to appear as the most precious flower doesn't she? UGH. Hope this flops big time. If I'm in a book shop and see it stocked, I will be hiding all the copies 😂
put it where it belongs... the horror section!
 
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Furiously looking up The Bench on Urban dictionary (via phone- no kiddy block):
The Bench: when you are already in a relationship, "the bench" is all the people that are interested in you and waiting for you guys to break up, so they can have have a shot.
Bench (verb): For a girl to sit on a guy's lap facing him while they kiss
Bench (nohn): the combination of a witch and a wench. Used for emphasis, being that it puts two words of equal meaning together. Could possibly be used as a euphemism.
witch + Wench = Bench

Heretofore i shall refer to LaDouche as The Bench


Or Dame Edna, possums.
Or maybe Wench and witch = Witch
 
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Urban Dictionary says "the bench" is when you are in a relationship and The Bench is all the people that are interested in you and waiting for you guys to break up....

Lots of references in the Daily Star to new sex God Hazzno at the E.Lax Concert. Yes really. He has swag and glow and flustered fans say he walked on stage like he'd got a third leg....no wonder Smeg got pregnant three times in two years they gushed. Hazzno swaggered on stage like he was doing a strut for Paris Fashion Week! The lustful fans who gave Hazzno a
Urban Dictionary says "the bench" is when you are in a relationship and The Bench is all the people that are interested in you and waiting for you guys to break up....

Lots of references in the Daily Star to new sex God Hazzno at the E.Lax Concert. Yes really. He has swag and glow and flustered fans say he walked on stage like he'd got a third leg....no wonder Smeg got pregnant three times in two years they gushed. Hazzno swaggered on stage like he was doing a strut for Paris Fashion Week! The lustful fans who gave Hazzno a standing ovation were rewarded with a beaming smile from their priapic Prince.
My first thought is that would put me off sex for life! (Thought my Ant Mcpartlin dream was bad this sounds worse) :sick:
 
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'The Bench' is a Richard and Judy book club pick - a 'heartwarming novel' by Saskia Sarginson.

Duchess might need to pick another book name..
How about this name..seems more appropriate 🤭😀 xx.
I was going to make this tomorrow but again..I couldn't resist it lol 🥰..

Harry's Richmond and balls also star in the cover.

Buy two books and get a free pack of Richmond skinless sausages 😄


Resizer_16201546858090.jpg
 
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She's written a book for white families is the only explanation I can come up with. Daddy could have bee a lady in the army and... oh the opportunities she had and she just couldn't do it. Pathetic old bleep.
Good point actually. Missed a trick there.
--------------------------------------------
This is our garden
where we take arty pics
Photo shopped to bollox
Cos we think the public are dicks.

This is our kitchen
where dad and I roast chicken
and make healthy waffles
and get a bit of dick in.

This room is for Doris
Where she hides my dangly earrings.
Sadly she's not here today
but in court at another hearing.

This is the norty hole
concealed behind the kitchen.
Where mummy locks up daddy
when she's tired of all his bitchin'

This is your lovely bedroom
with windows ceiling to floor
with bunk beds for the nannies
and 5 locks on the door.

Back into the garden
where the wet-backs gardeners toil all day
and where Porka viewed my chickens
and asked "Are you OK?"

No one ever asks that
so aunt Porka left me broken.
To those cunts in the UK
I was just another token.😢

Yeah,this poem has gone off topic
but your dad is just a runt!:mad:
I really wanted William
but got stuck with the ginger bleep.😭
 
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Ah, c'mon, surely we all wrote poems for our husbands weeks after giving birth, its just what any loving wife would do, surely?

Darling I love you and our child
My nethers have gone wild
Not from lust
They are just bust
All I want is some SLEEP
everyone's poems are brilliant - but this one made me cry with laughter.
 
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This is the bench where I think about Me
And how far I've come since I opened box 23

This is the bench where I do all my plotting
And occasionally daydream back to when I was yachting

This is the bench where I do my conniving
When Merchella arrives my finances will be thriving

This is the bench where I don't give a duck
Since I snared a prince and made him a cuck
 
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For someone who likes privacy she sure likes to share personal things like her personal wedding vows being above their bed and a poem for her husband. I think she's released this as a) trying to show how amuuuuuuhzing she is as a wordsmith b) how amuuuuhzing she is as a wife and mother c) how encouraging she was at moving Harry over to California with a bench and his life beginning d) to make money to keep her giant house (why the frig is it double what any other KIDS book costs), to stick her name all over the front. Even her bio is grim.

She just loves herself....
 
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£12.99 for a basic children’s book though? like the rainbow fish and the hungry caterpillar are no more than £6 and they’re a lot more interactive than this piece of shite
Probably hoping it will get bought in quantity by primary school librarians.

There is a whole ruse in current publishing esp. in YA stuff of publishing stuff that is designed to sell to that market and hardly any other. Marvel have been doing it with their uttterly woeful, very poorly selling woke comics too - designed to be packaged into trade paperbacks and sold to school librarians because they have a (dreadfully conceived and written) young black girl hero or whatever.
 
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This is your bench
where you'll witness great joy
from here you will rest
see the growth of our boy.

WTF does that mean? Is she saying the boy will watch himself grow? or he will watch their other boy grow? it doesn't make sense
This is your bench
where you’ll sit all alone
I’d sit beside you
if it was a throne!
 
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So many lies.
The biggest one of all was that they went to the USA for privacy.
 
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View attachment 559110Ignoring the Capitalisation of 'My Love' 'And' but the lowercase 'our beautiful boy' which irks me but shouldn't, I wanna know why the wife looks like the wife but darker, H is a ginger soldier (meouchie) but they appear to have involved a blond haired boy....whose child is that based on? Why haven't they based it on Archie?
Sounds like it's been written by Brooklyn Beckham 😄😄 x
 
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When you thought the messages on bananas were the most ridiculous thing she could do. I’ve not caught up with this thread yet but I cannot believe she’s written a bloody book based on her very own poem. In addition, the drawings are shite. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d done those too. I’d love HMTQ to remove her Duchess title before it gets published so they all have to be scrapped.
 
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I just checked out the book on Amazon
Here's a sample of the text:

This is your bench
Where you’ll witness great joy.
From here you will rest
See the growth of our boy. 🤮

....................

I think we can all continue the great work:

This is daddy's room
Where you'll witness no joy
Because I've tied him up
And taken away his toy

OVER TO YOU TATTLERS 😉😁
wishy washy woke bullshit from that untalented, slapper, desperation all round, that's the only thing she can put up especially as head n o w seems to be a worshipped hero.

What a waste of space, and why aren't they all black?? Or is she a white woman today.

It's all bollocks and demeaning to talented writers.
 
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