It's worth remembering that in modern churches, there's a less prescriptive view of the "rules", and people make choices on that.
I attend a church similar to the church Grace does. Some people do choose to wait til marriage to live together and so on, but a lot of people don't. My church terms it "dating for marriage", and that means that you're waiting til you're in a wholly committed relationship before you have sex/live together. But that doesn't mean marriage, it just means you're intending that to be. But if it doesn't work out, so be it. No one is shunned! They also preach love and acceptance - you worship your way and how you think you best to serve God. So we have LGBT couples, and recently someone started to transition and we've prayed for them but only in that we hope that they are happy and safe and that they know they have our love and support and god's love too.
Modern church is a different thing. There's lots of really interesting discussion and people do disagree about some stuff but it's always very much that there's no place for anything but love and kindness even if you don't think the "rules" are being followed. You'd be "shunned" for being mean about someone having pre-marital sex than having it!!