Gender Discussion #9

[Bitofthebubbly]

And this comes as Ofsted has just released research about the hideous pressure girls now experience as young as 11 being asked by boys in their year group for naked pics.

Girls asked for nudes by up to 11 boys a night, Ofsted finds

Sexual harassment is being "normalised" among school-age children, England's schools watchdog finds.

www.google.com

So let me get this straight girls have literally no safe space now.

What pisses me off about these articles is the comments on social media that are full of people going “GiRlS aRe JuSt As BaD” “girls encourage it” “girls ask boys for dick picks and harass just as much”. Like no, that just isn’t true. The vast vast majority of school sexual harassers are boys. This is exactly why boys are allowed to get away with this shit, because their parents and wider society condones it by making it the girls problem every time.

 

[CheshireLove]

I doubt many adults can let alone primary children who can barely write their own name! If my kids school choose to teach this instead of basic education I would pull them out immediately. Stonewall seem determined to screw up everything else provided the it view of trans rights are upheld in ever situation at the detriment of the majority of the population.

I’m so baffled how Stonewall have become so singularly focused on trans action and absolutely nothing else.

Why would this be more important than primary age children learning to read, write, play safely and happily? I’d rather that teachers/adults be taught how to recognise children who are being abused and to teach children boundaries about unwanted hugs etc etc than having them learn about the Equality Act! They say it’s about safeguarding children and it bloody isn’t.

 

[Doc]

I really wish LGB would claim their “thing” back. Since it’s been anything goes to any letter of the alphabet you can bet the MAPs will be pressurising to make it LGBTQP+ before long.

There’s a lot of sick fucks out there wanting to “normalise” paedophilia and it scares the shit out of me that it’s getting traction.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

We'd still be male or female whether the law recognised us as such or not ...

This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read.

 

[maytoseptember]

Women on my Twitter feed are posting suffragette colours left right and centre

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

My sister is a woman in tech, she’s in her 20s. She’s dealt with harassment, bullying and a sacking due to false gross misconduct claims. All by jealous little men who can’t stand seeing a young woman do very well in ‘their industry’.

I thought about this whilst I was doing breakfast this morning too. I don’t know how to phrase it... but my real life personality is chatty, jokey, very candid which tends to mean my friendships are quite intimate. That’s all been lost in my work mode for various reasons - women aren’t taken as seriously, having boundaries crossed, fearing men getting the wrong idea and thinking I’m flirty, etc etc. This conscious code switching is something TW likely don’t have to think of as they were never socialised in that feminine people pleasing way. Moreover they’re not fresh meat for the picking, young women in any professional environment are like shooting fish in a barrel for predatory men unfortunately.

I’ve had to be upset when I hear men I like and professionally admire say grotesque things. Hear that they made my female friend who might be a creative junior or someone with less professional cache basically feel uncomfortable because they were laying it on thick (behaviour I’ve aged out of the bracket of interest from or am saved as I’m a bore / married / unsocial / more senior now). Being embarrassed when you see them showing off in front of young women. Being conscious of going out after work cos you don’t want to see them be gross or risk them being gross to you. Or the very very very worst is they mistake your professional relationship for an actual genuine interest in them. This is the horrible atmosphere women have to work under and it’s a whole part of the woman in work experience trans women won’t experience (because of men’s sexual preferences, they don’t want to touch a female penis but we hear very little on that?).

Idk if that made sense I’m just amazed I assumed this thread would be scary. It’s scary to even write this for fear of being doxed and fired, I’m not intending to be derogatory to trans women as I respect their pronouns but I think surely it should be fair for us to be able to compare & contrast both sides? Likewise they have issues we’ll never face, at least in the US I think the murder rate of trans women is multiples upon cis gendered women, so that’s a them issue they deserve to discuss without fear of “what about CIS women!!!”.

 

[Inforapenny]

Ugh yep. I was dating a man for a couple of months and randomly one night during sex he decided to choke me. His entire weight was on my neck. I didn't think oh this is kinky! I thought shit am I being murdered? And fought him off as if I was being attacked. He didn't understand why I was crying, he thought women liked it. Porn is selling the idea that women literally enjoy being beaten during sex.

I am so sorry to hear this. He's committed a crime. That's sexual assault.

I find it hard to like men at the best of times so fuck no to allowing them into our spaces and a fuck no to accepting men as women. It's biological impossible for one and guess what there is no female lifestyle or female brain.
I don't give much of a shit about the trans cult, their rights are as protected in the UK as anyone elses. My concern is for girls and women. Why that should upset the trans community I will never know.

As for the whole transphobic rubbish because you don't want to sleep.with someone...how fucking dare they ...and this is peddled by men. It is the most manipulative, abusive, vile narrative and I worry for teenage girls being pressured into sex with whoever feels like it because they don't want to be accused of being transphobic.

 

[Doc]

Bloody infuriated at work today. A group of mums moaning between themselves about the Yr 4s having been introduced to terms including transgender. Not one spoke up and objected when the consultation came out! The reason? They don’t want to be seen as Bigoted Bad People (TM).

FFS when did we sleepwalk into this. I beg anyone here, if you’re not happy with what your kids are being taught at primary school SPEAK UP because it’s only going to get worse.

 

[thegirlscout]

world class ability to accessorise.

Let’s be honest, the only woman with a ‘world class ability to accessorise’ is Iris Apfel

 

[Flumps]

Idk if it’s a good idea for me to continue reading this thread tbh this has actually quite upset me. I’m a newish mum and my career ~in tech~ was obliterated by my pregnancy, I had to go to therapy for self esteem and I simply have none left now to the point where I’m too shy to send emails without my husband proof reading them first (even tho his writing is objectively poorer than mine?). I’m too scared to take legal action as it’s a huge company and I don’t have it in me to endure years of shit, I can’t even bear to read the results of any SAR I could put in it would absolutely crush me. My husband’s career is obviously absolutely fine. He would have been able to withstand the mental torture my workplace put on me for daring to get pregnant too, but it was me who had to go through it. I can’t imagine having the privilege of being the non birthing parent then turning round and claiming mother status.

ETA - like am I insane? Am I going down the path incels or red pillers go down? Like one big knock to your self confidence and you become a hateful piece of shit? Like surely this is objectively insanity??

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you're so upset. If it is upsetting/unbalancing you then of course you need to take a break.

You're not insane. I don't think that it's the knock to your self-confidence that's causing this. You feel unbalanced because this is gaslighting, it's trying to make you feel you *should* pretend the world is a way that you know that it isn't. That's incredibly destablising and of course it hits you harder when it's happening in the arena of your lived experience.

 

[SqualorVictoria]

I think it will come full circle and this overly sex positive if you're not getting choked on a first date you're a prude will go out of fashion. That's what I'm hoping

 

[Buswanker]

I have a couple of questions.

I’ve seen far too many Twitter threads and memes online regarding lesbians accepting girld*ck (that term makes me dry heave) etc etc. The whole thing makes me really uncomfortable and angry.

My questions are; if these TW are attracted to females, why are they part of the LGB community? When you break it down to the fundamentals of sex and attraction - they’re just straight men then aren’t they?

Lastly, if lesbians are transphobic for not accepting “women who have penises” and won’t be intimate with them, by definition aren’t TW themselves transphobic if they’re not willing to be intimate with someone who has a penis? If we refer to my last question, these “women” are straight men at the very basic level and want to engage in activity with biological women. Are they themselves going to be accepting of engaging with another penis then?

Most hetero men would not. So I don’t understand what happens there? Surely if these trans women won’t take one for the team, they are transphobic? It’s so confusing. It hurts my brain.

I just know that the entire thing is out of hand. I feel sorry for the every day person who has transitioned who has no part in this movement. A few hate it all as much as we do.

Edit; I mean transphobic by their definition, btw. Anything that doesn’t fit the narrative is transphobic lately.

Edit; As a bisexual, biological woman I literally feel like I can’t win the argument because we’re attracted to both sexes. They completely miss the point of preference though. I don’t choose who I find attractive, I just do. Just like everyone else.

 

[thegirlscout]

I think it's wrong, the school are trying to be too woke and inclusive. I honestly worry for children being brought up with this madness. I don't have a father and I would never have dreamed of begrudging other kids theirs and I'm certainly not offended as an adult that other people celebrate their fathers.

I do think teachers should be more open to those who have no traditional families. At school I do remember that even those who’s fathers had left them or died they still were sort of made to go through it. If I was a teacher I would say ‘we’re making Father’s Day cards today but if you don’t feel comfortable with that then perhaps make a card for someone who is special in your life’. That seems the best solution for everyone. I left school 13 years ago so things might have become better on that front.

 

[Notworthy]

I don't think many TW are willing to see it from our perspective which is ironic considering they want to BE US. At the end of the day their male socialiation and ego determines their thoughts.

On 'TW', I saw a post on Twitter earlier saying we should never have used Trans woman as a term because it has helped muddy the waters with language and boundaries. We (GC) should instead be saying trans identified or dysphoric male or similar, because a transitioned male to 'female' is not and never will be a woman, so why 'transwoman'? Food for thought...

Dysphoric Male is my preferred term although it would send any Trans into an asolute frenzy. Anyone that claims to be trans but wants to keep their genitals should not be referred to as trans as all they are doing is reinforcing the gender stereotypes that we have been battling against for nigh on a Century now. Ask any MtoF who hasn't gone through gender reassignment why they think they are female and they will almost certainly respond with a stereotypical idea of what a Woman is, none of which applies to me but I'm still a woman even if I don't wear makeup, dresses, paly with dollies etc.

 

[Ispyabudgetbeanblogger]

Honestly speechless, am sure someone else can deconstruct this better but v peculiar, no?

View attachment 618445

A swarm is singular - even grammatically this makes no sense. You are just as likely to say

'Here it comes' - it being the swarm of bees, as you are 'Here they come' - they being the bees.

I generally find it unhelpful to think of people as a swarm of bees, but then I also find it unhelpful to pretend that any person can give birth, have a period, breastfeed or do any other thing that only female mammals can do.

ETAL I also have an irrational hatred for the word 'kiddo'.

 

[CheshireLove]

I think what happened to Jess was awful. Especially given the context of all the appalling male artists throughout history who get a free pass in that museum and all of the women artists who won't get an exhibition or even a piece ever displayed there or sold there. However - I really really don't want to be aligned with The Times or The Telegraph or the Spectator or GB News and I didn't know anything about Liz Truss but I've looked at her voting record and I don't care for her politics either.

I do strongly believe in trans rights, I have trans family members and acquaintances. They just want to get on with their lives. I also believe in women's rights and agree with Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie that transwomen are transwomen and I don't understand why that's a problem. It's a fact. I wouldn't call myself gender critical per se but I see things that go on in the news or are mentioned here or that happen in the schools where my friends teach that genuinely shock me. I had a senior ex-colleague who was an awful bully about maternity/family stuff to all the women on his team - most of whom ended up quitting as he would do stuff like not let a single mum leave early when her childminder was sick - is now apparently a transwoman and a champion of diversity and women's rights in the workplace. My 10 year old niece has a shaved head and plays on the school football team but doesn't dare tell her friends she likes Harry Potter because of JK Rowling. The racist antisemite Roald Dahl is totally fine though...

I'm sick of women taking the flak for it all. This idea of 'TERFs' - the evil radical feminists who say mean things online are the worst of the worst not the men who repeatedly perpetrate ACTUAL violence. Where is the call for men to be more accepting of gender non-conforming men in their spaces? Why aren't we on at them 'hey we'd like it if you could see a man in a dress and some make-up and manage not to hit or threaten them if that's works please?' Why don't boys schools change their uniform to include dresses and skirts? Why don't they have an acronym? Who's making rubbish embroideries and pin badges about them? I'm sure most of the men who harass or threaten trans people don't consider themselves feminists.

Sorry it's a bit of a rant but I really hate the Tories and I am fed up of only hearing about it from the right.

Thank you @Eurgh

I also dislike that people like us who feel this way on this particular subject get lumped in with the likes of GB News, Laurence Fox etc. I consider myself politically homeless at the moment too.

 

[Vee6]

I’ve been on this thread for a year now and no one has ever said they suspect all trans people of being criminals or whatever you are trying to say.
We have data that shows that trans women maintain male patterns of criminality. With self id how would you be able to tell who are the opportunists using trans as a cover to find victims?

 

[AnderbeauJohnson]

Some (hopefully) good news

 

[JoeBloggs]

I saw this ' Have you got 'Main Character Syndrome', the worrying Millennial condition when people view their life as a narcissistic film thanks to social media.' on Glamour's Facebook feed just now. This feeds into the modern non-binary/trans world where their are the main character and screw anyone else. Social Media has ruined a lot of modern society for me.

 

[CheshireLove]

Non binary is almost the worst of the lot for me. Anyone who doesn’t strictly conform to gender norms is surely non binary. Well, nor do I but I’m still female, not non binary. Needing a special term for ‘people who don’t exactly present as their sex all the time’ surely serves to entrench gender stereotypes more deeply?
I don’t know if anyone else has observed this specific thing, but I can count almost 10 women under 30 I know who have recently ‘come out’ as NB. It’s striking to me that in their late teens/early 20s they were all very slim. They have now all gained a lot of weight - talking over size 20 here -post regularly about ‘body positivity’ and ‘loving being fat’ etc, and now they’re NB too. I don’t know whether this is all just a random correlation, but when I realised it the other day I found it very strange. Also, despite being adamant about being NB/they pronouns, they are all what would typically be regarded as female presenting - long hair, dresses, etc. What is even the point of NB in these cases then? I can’t help but wonder if it’s some manifestation of feeling uncomfortable with the extreme weight gain or something tbh.

Do you think with the weight gain they might feel they’ve lost the feeling of being “feminine” or being seen as “feminine” by society more widely and therefore think “well I’m not seen as a woman because of how I look, so I’ll take back control and say I don’t identify as being a woman anyway, so they have no power over me to make me feel bad”?

Just my take. It seems so sad.