Gender Discussion #54

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Agree to disagree. Over 18 is perfectly legal, but can still be inappropriate, depending.

It’s not always the case, but there is such a massive learning & life adjustment process a person goes through in their 20s, that anytime I see someone who yes, is over 18 but (rough rule of thumb) under 30, but dating someone significantly older than them, I am of the view that often something else is going on than true love with an age gap. It’s where a person wants someone who (speaking broadly) is still likely learning who they are, even if they’re both adults. They’re both adults, no-one can stop them, it’s not illegal, but often when the younger party reaches the age their partner was when they met them they start to wonder what the hell that person was doing.
That’s the point I made though when I said and/or there’s other factors ie positions of power. I once worked with a girl years ago who was 19 at admin level and was dating a CFO who was at least 10 years older. That’s clearly inappropriate especially in the workplace.
 
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The number of simping comments on the Doctor Who Facebook are crazy, it wasn't a ground breaking episode and felt like it was totally issue led. Yasmin was a passable actress making terrible stuffed toys in a shed and they resolved a seemingly impossible crisis with Donna's memory with a weird binary /non binary thing and then just letting it go. I have no issue at all with representation but felt like we crowbarred a lot in there in one episode, a badass wheelchaired UNIT member with guns in her chair, a sikh soldier (I'm sorry if he isn't sikh but thought the turban meant he was), a mixed race trans child...
 
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FFS I’ve just read an episode summary for Doctor Who that was pretty gushy and it still sounded like a load of old tripe!
 
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This is pretty horrid: https://www.archive.is/oldest/https...ystery-my-tv-girls-fetish-archive-tom-wilkins

TL;DR A collector of found photography archives purchased a set of albums whose contents were unknown to him. They turned out to be Polaroids taken during the 70s-80s of women on TV - typically undressing, sex scenes, lingerie, tampon adverts, etc. and were all labelled with very misogynistic, objectifying captions. However after going through them, the collector found one shot of the original owner trying on a bra and concluded he was a TIM (he has reportedly since died so we will never know the truth.) And that would make it better apparently? Still misogyny and still a fetish
 
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This is pretty horrid: https://www.archive.is/oldest/https...ystery-my-tv-girls-fetish-archive-tom-wilkins

TL;DR A collector of found photography archives purchased a set of albums whose contents were unknown to him. They turned out to be Polaroids taken during the 70s-80s of women on TV - typically undressing, sex scenes, lingerie, tampon adverts, etc. and were all labelled with very misogynistic, objectifying captions. However after going through them, the collector found one shot of the original owner trying on a bra and concluded he was a TIM (he has reportedly since died so we will never know the truth.) And that would make it better apparently? Still misogyny and still a fetish
It's quite disturbing the finder of the photos is trying to normalise such degrading and misogynistic behaviour. There's nothing interesting or insightful in those images; they're just the result of a creep with a fetish and a Polaroid camera.

Also laughable that Tom Wilkins the photographer is referred to as 'he' throughout the article before the writer says his gender is unknown 🙄
 
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This is pretty horrid: https://www.archive.is/oldest/https...ystery-my-tv-girls-fetish-archive-tom-wilkins
the collector found one shot of the original owner trying on a bra and concluded he was a TIM (he has reportedly since died so we will never know the truth.) And that would make it better apparently? Still misogyny and still a fetish
That's weird, trying out the maths it says he died aged 56 in 2007,but stopped taking the photos in the mid 1980s, that is mid 20s, seems weird to me that someone would be this intense in an obsession and then just stop... Unless he moved to a different obsession.
 
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This is pretty horrid: https://www.archive.is/oldest/https...ystery-my-tv-girls-fetish-archive-tom-wilkins

TL;DR A collector of found photography archives purchased a set of albums whose contents were unknown to him. They turned out to be Polaroids taken during the 70s-80s of women on TV - typically undressing, sex scenes, lingerie, tampon adverts, etc. and were all labelled with very misogynistic, objectifying captions. However after going through them, the collector found one shot of the original owner trying on a bra and concluded he was a TIM (he has reportedly since died so we will never know the truth.) And that would make it better apparently? Still misogyny and still a fetish
He even calls the guy who took the photos "him" yet still goes on to state that we don't know what his gender was ffs...yes we do, he was a man!!!
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Use of puberty blockers doubles since the state said they would control it.
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Are there any legitimate medical reasons that puberty blockers would be used on children?
 
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He even calls the guy who took the photos "him" yet still goes on to state that we don't know what his gender was ffs...yes we do, he was a man!!!
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Are there any legitimate medical reasons that puberty blockers would be used on children?
I can't think of any? Unless there was some obscure illness that meant once the child reaches puberty they would die? But I couldn't see that being so common that blockers being prescribed would double.
 
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DT was 37, he could have easily had children with a woman over 30 at very least. I just don’t buy any of it.
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Agree to disagree. Over 18 is perfectly legal, but can still be inappropriate, depending.

It’s not always the case, but there is such a massive learning & life adjustment process a person goes through in their 20s, that anytime I see someone who yes, is over 18 but (rough rule of thumb) under 30, but dating someone significantly older than them, I am of the view that often something else is going on than true love with an age gap. It’s where a person wants someone who (speaking broadly) is still likely learning who they are, even if they’re both adults. They’re both adults, no-one can stop them, it’s not illegal, but often when the younger party reaches the age their partner was when they met them they start to wonder what the hell that person was doing.
I've been in a relationship with a man 26 years older than me, I was 30 when this started and we are both of a similar opinion to you, that simply being a legal adult doesn't make it healthy.

Some would call us hypocrites, but IMO there is a huge difference between an 18 - 20 year old and someone in their later 20s and 30s - Yes there are 18 year olds who seem more mature than others their age, but they still don't have the life experience. I had had long term relationships with people my own age for example, which is think makes a big difference, by the time I had an age gap relationship.

I also think that even with those factors, it can still be inappropriate - Say for example, if I knew him because I'd been friends with his daughter as a child and spent my childhood having sleepovers at his house with her. I think that would be inappropriate even at 30, to start a relationship with him.

It's certainly a very complex area and not as simple as "well they're legally an adult now" the minute they turn 18.
 
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I've been in a relationship with a man 26 years older than me, I was 30 when this started and we are both of a similar opinion to you, that simply being a legal adult doesn't make it healthy.

Some would call us hypocrites, but IMO there is a huge difference between an 18 - 20 year old and someone in their later 20s and 30s - Yes there are 18 year olds who seem more mature than others their age, but they still don't have the life experience. I had had long term relationships with people my own age for example, which is think makes a big difference, by the time I had an age gap relationship.

I also think that even with those factors, it can still be inappropriate - Say for example, if I knew him because I'd been friends with his daughter as a child and spent my childhood having sleepovers at his house with her. I think that would be inappropriate even at 30, to start a relationship with him.

It's certainly a very complex area and not as simple as "well they're legally an adult now" the minute they turn 18.
BIB that’s Monica with Tom Selleck (can’t remember characters name). He was her friends dad, and friends with her dad. And she only gets the ick when she eventually goes in a date with his son. Again, the 90s were so messed up.
 
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Are there any legitimate medical reasons that puberty blockers would be used on children?
I feel like there's something I heard about where they were helpful because of wanting to pause puberty whilst some other treatment was happening, like the testosterone would have caused the cancer to speed up, but can't remember any details, sorry
 
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There is a separate thread for the Brianna Ghey murder trial so I won’t go into the detail here but having seen the outrage today that the defendants are not being charged with hate crime, it brings me back to my own outrage that despite the sheer volume of violent crimes against women and girls being committed day in and day out, men will never be charged with ‘hate crime’ against women.

Because there is no additional protection in law for females on the receiving end of hate based on their sex as there are for trans identified people based on their identity.
 
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BIB that’s Monica with Tom Selleck (can’t remember characters name). He was her friends dad, and friends with her dad. And she only gets the ick when she eventually goes in a date with his son. Again, the 90s were so messed up.
Is that Monica as in friends (I'm not a fan so I don't know any of the story lines).

One of my friends had a bit of a crush on my dad when we were younger and imagining her taking that seriously, if my dad were an abuse wrong'en and something happened gives me the ick, even now we are in our 30s and even though the age gap would be the same as my own relationship, where women his own age didn't bother me (my first boss very obviously fancied him like mad and I just thought it was funny, and only inappropriate because she was married), and younger women that aren't connected to me don't bother me if I think about him having a younger partner.

One of my mums friends daughter shacked up with her own step dad after he'd raised her from the age of 4, and had a baby with him, he also is the father to her half siblings. So definitely a good example of being 18 making it no better.

My step mums niece married her P.E teacher and had kids with him aswell after she left school at 16, which just isn't right IMO.
 
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There is a separate thread for the Brianna Ghey murder trial so I won’t go into the detail here but having seen the outrage today that the defendants are not being charged with hate crime, it brings me back to my own outrage that despite the sheer volume of violent crimes against women and girls being committed day in and day out, men will never be charged with ‘hate crime’ against women.

Because there is no additional protection in law for females on the receiving end of hate based on their sex as there are for trans identified people based on their identity.
I hate that I have to say this, but I’m glad the truth of the murder is now coming out and people might eventually stop using this teen’s death to perpetuate myths about how vulnerable trans people are out in society.
 
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I hate that I have to say this, but I’m glad the truth of the murder is now coming out and people might eventually stop using this teen’s death to perpetuate myths about how vulnerable trans people are out in society.
I’m glad the public have access to the truth if they want to see it but sadly I don’t think it will change any of that rhetoric for those that have always been on that train as it doesn’t fit their agenda. Even after everything that has been reported today, they can only focus on two things that the male defendant said. That were unpleasant but hardly comparable to some of the other horrific messages we’ve heard today that I won’t repeat here.
 
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