Gender Discussion #54

[klarakluckbag]

Thinking about Venelope's post about the 90s and 00s being awful for coming of age, I was a teenager in the 00s and a prevailing memory of mine is of the god awful 'Special K diet'. Being a teenager when there was so much emphasis on being 'thin' and thin meaning beautiful was just awful. Imagine being told that you should replace breakfast and lunch with bowls of cereal and then you will finally be beautiful and accepted. Madness.

My daughter is only three and I honestly DREAD her teenage years and whatever inevitable pressure there will be to be and look a certain way. Just wanna wrap her up in bubble wrap (and never have Special K in the house!).

You were lucky...in my teenage years, it was either Ryvita and cottage cheese, or eggs and grapefruit! There was also a product called "Ayds", which were supposed to be "slimmimg chocolates". They came in a box, and you were supposed to eat only one, when you were hungry, and it would take away the hunger pangs. What could possibly go wrong?

You say that you're worried about your daughter feeling pressure to conform to a particular ideal or standard when she is a teenager? This is exactly what horrifies GC women. My son is now 25 and when he was a child, the advice was to just let your kids be exposed to all toys, including those traditionally seen as "boy" or "girl" toys. My son had dolls, a play kitchen, a baby pram (my sister's old toy!) None of which made him feminine, gay or transgender. (Why would they?) Nowadays, if he was spotted in the park, pushing a dolls pram with a doll in it, some amateur psychologist would be calling him "trans". Interestingly, my best friend's son is gay, as a child, he always played with "boys" toys, despite having a sister and access to girls toys.
It seems that the trans lobby are determined to segregate boys and girls into clearly defined categories, and woe betide anyone who doesn't quite "fit". Hormones and surgeries for them, how dare they not conform to the gender norm!!

 

[RunRunRun]

Thinking about Venelope's post about the 90s and 00s being awful for coming of age, I was a teenager in the 00s and a prevailing memory of mine is of the god awful 'Special K diet'. Being a teenager when there was so much emphasis on being 'thin' and thin meaning beautiful was just awful. Imagine being told that you should replace breakfast and lunch with bowls of cereal and then you will finally be beautiful and accepted. Madness.

Memory unlocked there. I used to think I had a pretty healthy view of food/size because I didn’t make myself sick like other girls in my school. But I still cried in changing rooms when I had to buy a bigger clothes size and spent my late teens/early 20s going between dieting and binge eating. I suffered the Special K diet - I can’t believe in hindsight how much it was advertised.

Is it any better now? With all the filters on social media I’m not sure it is. Although hopefully we will be more equipped to deal with it than our parents were.

 

[Elle]

It was everywhere and, of course, it was solely targeting women. Happy, thin women grinning as they tuck into a delicious bowl of cereal.

I know men aren't immune from societal pressures, eating disorders etc but it's not comparable to what women go through.

And currently it's filters, cosmetic surgeries, big bums etc and who knows what's next.
---

My son had dolls, a play kitchen, a baby pram (my sister's old toy!) None of which made him feminine, gay or transgender. (Why would they?) Nowadays, if he was spotted in the park, pushing a dolls pram with a doll in it, some amateur psychologist would be calling him "trans".

So well said. I was chatting with my boyf about gender stuff last night and he was saying why does EVERYTHING have to have a label. Why are people so eager to push people into categories.

 

[PryingPenny]

Has anyone been following the Matt Rife drama?

He's a not unattractive comedian who has had a heavy female following because of his looks but has played on that and been shared a lot online. He's got a new Netflix special and one of the earlier jokes is making light of domestic violence, saying a waitress wouldn't have a black eye if she was better at cooking. He's responded to people rightly offended by this 'joke' (this is the sort of thing that passed as humour 40 years ago) by posting a link to an apology that turned out to be a link to helmets to be worn children with special educational needs. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

Seems like women have led to much of his success but now he's happy to alienate his fan base to reach the Andrew Tate loving men who find the idea of punching a woman funny

 

[Elle]

Yes! I followed him on Insta because I thought he was funny and witty with his audience interactions (and like you say not unattractive) but omg I was shocked he made that 'joke'? Extremely not funny. Didn't see the 'apology' though. Jesus.

 

[maytoseptember]

He's responded to people rightly offended by this 'joke' (this is the sort of thing that passed as humour 40 years ago) by posting a link to an apology that turned out to be a link to helmets to be worn children with special educational needs.

Never heard of the guy but whaaaaaaat?

I think offensive humour has its place (I mean where would we be without Ricky Gervais and his jokes about TERFs and women with roosters) but there’s a line IMO. Tired old misogynistic and ableist jokes can stay in the past. Be intelligent about it, rather than punching down.

 

[ozblackcat]

Honestly thank f*k for Ricky Gervais. I was reading a transcript of his stand up and how it was criticised as anti-trans. When he repeatedly says he is against eroding women’s rights

 

[IndominusRex]

I can’t wait for Armeggedon to be on Netflix!

 

[Doll Parts]

I mean a lot of older LGB people will have had queer thrown at them as an insult. Not everyone is so happy to reclaim slurs for themself. Also, a lot of us LGB people consider modern trans ideology to be extremely homophobic in a lot of cases, which is where LCB without the T comes in.

 

[OatMatchaLatte]

I mean a lot of older LGB people will have had queer thrown at them as an insult. Not everyone is so happy to reclaim slurs for themself. Also, a lot of us LGB people consider modern trans ideology to be extremely homophobic in a lot of cases, which is where LCB without the T comes in.

I wouldn't feel comfortable referring to a les, bisexual or gay person as queer, I think it's really offensive. And I definitely agree it's a homophobic ideology. You're not same-sex attracted, you're born in the wrong body, WHAT?! As if I wasn't already convinced of it's homophobia, the Pakistan offices at my company don't have an LGB employees group, but do have a trans one. Says it all.

It must be an absolutely shocking time to be a les.

 

[ChilliBean]

I was just reading on the r/nursing subreddit on Reddit and a trans woman posted about being a student nurse. Lots of the comments were about patients being “transphobic” but I bet in reality they are vulnerable confused older ladies who don’t want a 6ft 4 bloke in lipstick providing intimate personal care to them!!! I know I certainly wouldn’t

 

[Doll Parts]

I wouldn't feel comfortable referring to a les, bisexual or gay person as queer, I think it's really offensive. And I definitely agree it's a homophobic ideology. You're not same-sex attracted, you're born in the wrong body, WHAT?! As if I wasn't already convinced of it's homophobia, the Pakistan offices at my company don't have an LGB employees group, but do have a trans one. Says it all.

It must be an absolutely shocking time to be a les.

Another thing about "queer:" I've noticed is that a lot of completely straight, completely non-trans people have started using it to try and sound a bit more edgy or something.

It really is tough being s les right now, especially if you're trying to date, but I don't fancy getting into all that right now!

 

[ThisIsMyGuiltyPleasure]

Another thing about "queer:" I've noticed is that a lot of completely straight, completely non-trans people have started using it to try and sound a bit more edgy or something.

It really is tough being s les right now, especially if you're trying to date, but I don't fancy getting into all that right now!

I have used the word queer forever, it used to mean something of a peculiar nature in the old days and I'm in my fifties now. My parents and grandparents used it as well. Now I suppose I'm being offensive.

 

[Doll Parts]

I have used the word queer forever, it used to mean something of a peculiar nature in the old days and I'm in my fifties now. My parents and grandparents used it as well. Now I suppose I'm being offensive.

Nah, of course it's not offensive if you're using it in that context.

 

[maytoseptember]

'Drag Race' crowns first cis woman winner in franchise history

'Drag Race' just crowned a cis woman as winner, a first in franchise history.

ew.com

Drag Race has eaten itself. The German offshoot has crowned a woman the winner of their latest series. And not a TIF either. A “cis” woman. bleeping brilliant

I remember when Rupaul didn’t want TIMs to compete because it wasn’t drag, but he was browbeaten into going woke. First TIMs, then TIFs and now women. Love to see it!

 

[judgejohndeed]

It seems that the trans lobby are determined to segregate boys and girls into clearly defined categories, and woe betide anyone who doesn't quite "fit". Hormones and surgeries for them, how dare they not conform to the gender norm!!

There was a woman on MN yesterday (I think, I read it then anyway) saying her little son has expressed interest in kilts and the ones he wants are pink. Because he's also 'gentle and shy' or something, should she leave him be or be seeking therapy. I think he was about 5? It's bloody awful. Let the poor boy have his pink kilt and leave him alone. I bet the hullabaloo about this kind of thing makes it worse, imagine being a 5 year old having to go to therapy because you liked a pink kilt - he's going to think there's something wrong with him. It's either transing kids to make it a big deal or he's going to go the opposite way and have toxic masculinity entrenched in his psyche.

 

[usefullyuseless]

There was a woman on MN yesterday (I think, I read it then anyway) saying her little son has expressed interest in kilts and the ones he wants are pink. Because he's also 'gentle and shy' or something, should she leave him be or be seeking therapy. I think he was about 5? It's bloody awful. Let the poor boy have his pink kilt and leave him alone. I bet the hullabaloo about this kind of thing makes it worse, imagine being a 5 year old having to go to therapy because you liked a pink kilt - he's going to think there's something wrong with him. It's either transing kids to make it a big deal or he's going to go the opposite way and have toxic masculinity entrenched in his psyche.

That makes me so sad. A five year old possibly being sent to therapy for wanting something pink. Jesus wept.

 

[klarakluckbag]

That makes me so sad. A five year old possibly being sent to therapy for wanting something pink. Jesus wept.

Especially when you consider that until fairly recently, pink was seen as a colour of "masculinity". What the hell is wrong with these people?

Pink - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

.

 

[Avenged7Fold]

There was a woman on MN yesterday (I think, I read it then anyway) saying her little son has expressed interest in kilts and the ones he wants are pink. Because he's also 'gentle and shy' or something, should she leave him be or be seeking therapy. I think he was about 5? It's bloody awful. Let the poor boy have his pink kilt and leave him alone. I bet the hullabaloo about this kind of thing makes it worse, imagine being a 5 year old having to go to therapy because you liked a pink kilt - he's going to think there's something wrong with him. It's either transing kids to make it a big deal or he's going to go the opposite way and have toxic masculinity entrenched in his psyche.

How is this happening. How did we come to a place where people are considering therapy because their son has taken a fancy to a pink skirt?
Why are we letting dingbats get away with defining gender by colours and toys and clothes choices

 

[SkippyDoo]

Another thing about "queer:" I've noticed is that a lot of completely straight, completely non-trans people have started using it to try and sound a bit more edgy or something.

It really is tough being s les right now, especially if you're trying to date, but I don't fancy getting into all that right now!

100%. The number of utterly heterosexual people who ask me about the “queer” community or declare to me that I myself I am in it, and get my les death stare right back… yeah I didn’t say you could do that.

That’s of course when they’re not telling me off for being a bad les for not using the right pronouns or… whatever the hell it is this week that they’ve been on a course or seen a TikTok about.