Gender Discussion #53

[Tobodee]

Hi, new to this thread! Can't believe I haven't seen it before and am going to spend some time reading through the threads.
Its so nice to be reminded there are normal women still out here! I'm sick to the back teeth of seeing pervy men with pigtails wearing little girls dresses on tiktok saying 'tell me I'm not a real woman, I dare you'. And all the women who are validating them!! Why!

 

[Peachsquish]

Saw this on fb

 

[petitspois]

I know the root of all of this is a patriarchal society but women are our own worst enemies with a lot of this. Just on the weekend, I was trying to gently raise a point or two about trans issues (when it came up) with friends but they just don't see the issue. Plus, when I said rape has all but been decriminalised and a woman on a date who ends up being raped hasn't a hope in hell of a conviction they went straight in with the threat of a lying woman faking it. You just don't see that with men. Men stand with men even if they're arseholes but women very often are the opposite.

 

[PryingPenny]

So true! Women get grief for being too frumpy if they try to be modest, or too flirty if they try to dress in a more sexy way, they get told they are honey traps or mutton dressed as lamb but as soon as a man puts a dress on he's brave and a shining star

 

[SkippyDoo]

I m confused......(It doesnt take much at times!)

Looking at the trans contestants on BB Hallie, and MAFS, Ella, and the comments on here, most people are perfectly happy to use whatever pronouns people want to, or whatever name people want- But almost no one in real life seems to actually think that a trans woman is actually a woman! Lots of comments about men not wanting to have sex with someone who is trans etc.

So where does this leave the whole transwomen are actually women stuff? If the majority of the population dont think transwomen are actually women at all?

And again with the pregnant 'man' I am not getting the impression anyone apart from them really believes or agrees with them that they are male. Maybe they just have a facial hair fetish, or dont want to be defined by their appearance, but they are female, including enjoying gender specific activities like heterosexual sex, pregnancy and motherhood. Those poor children are going to grow up so confused!

If lesbians say they don’t want male partners, they’re TERFs and bigots. If women say they don’t want males in female spaces (including refuges, prisons, sports, saunas, rape crisis shelters, social events, toilets or changing rooms — you name it), they’re TERFs and bigots.

If men say, “I don’t want to have sex with someone male” (or if gay, someone female) suddenly everyone seems to get it and the men are not hounded and called TERFs and bigots.

No-one REALLY thinks a trans person actually is the other sex, but a lot of people like to demand that we all pretend that’s true so they can dump on women repeatedly with impunity, in fact even be thought of as “progressive.” Lots of men are very proud of themselves online and off for this modern way of putting women in their place (which of course is about the only place women are allowed to keep — subjugated to men).

 

[emmer_moans]

Someone in another department where I work started emailing me about work stuff this week (I deal with requests, for example). I heard there was a vacancy and so I realised this person must be the new post holder. Their e-signature had an androgynous made up name that I’d never seen before (not putting it here else it might be outing of where I work). Anyway, next to the name in big f*ck-off letters was ‘pronouns, they, them’. Queue me rolling my eyes. Anyway, my place of work often puts pictures of employees on the intranet next to the contact details in the staff directory. I looked them up, and they look to be about 15 (realistically mid 20s but they look so childish) clearly a female with a bowl cut, wearing a sweatshirt (in your work contact photo, really?). Clearly another female who thinks asking people to call her they/them will change anything about their biological reality. On the contact card it also mentions she is part of the workplace EDI advisory group etc etc, so I realised she is actually someone who worked for another department before moving to the one that is adjacent to mine, from the internal blog posts in which their name crops up in, I can see she is very vocal.

I’ve been ever so polite and helpful in my emails back but I have referred to subjects of the email as he and she (deal with student enquiries etc), and my e-signature remains pronoun free. Hopefully these deluded people will see that it is possible to conduct your job politely and effectively (like I do) without having to signify pronouns or allegiance to the cult.

Recently even more staff keep referring to the subject of enquiries by email as ‘they’ when it is about a singular person. E.g. (fake name for privacy here): ‘Hi emmer-moans, Can you please take a look at Craig Smith’s record, there’s XYZ detail missing and they can’t see the content. They say this problem has been occurring since Monday. Thanks, Fake Name, Pronouns THEY/THEM.’

Me: ‘Hi Fake Name, Regarding Craig, I have looked at his record and it seems that the registration team has not done XYZ, this will require loading and then everything Craig needs will appear overnight upon the system refresh. Kind regards, emmer_moans, Job Title, Department.’

JUST FECK OFF with all the pronouns. It’s not showing signs of slowing down where I work. Almost every week there’s some EDI town hall going on, but do they ever talk about menopause, or period poverty or disadvantaged kids? No. Always bloody gender stuff.

 

[Avenged7Fold]

After reading the original article, I googled and found this one, where ‘Jacob’ explains that
“Conceiving was fairly normal. I don’t have any specific dysphoria (gender-related distress) around sex.”

and also, For Jacob, being pregnant was a welcome respite from body dysphoria. But since pausing hormone therapy in order to conceive, he’s been unable to get back on testosterone, which his GP refuses to prescribe unless he starts again from square one with an expensive and lengthy private referral process.

So, not dysphoric around sex and happy with pregnant body. No wonder the GP doesn’t want to prescribe any more testosterone - they probably feel they’ve been taken for a mug.

Parenting while Trans: Jacob's story - The Bristol Cable

Jacob, a transmasculine dad, opens up about his experiences as a gestational parent.

thebristolcable.org

There’s nothing like a dick in your vagina and a pregnant belly to make you feel like a man. What an absolute headcase
I hope the GP referred her for psychiatric therapy.

 

[weeweegie]

This was posted on Mumsnet 6 years ago

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Wow

Til the day I die I’ll never, ever understand how women can be such handmaidens to men. I would love this to be widely circulated and for these ‘allies’ to truly get it. It is so easy for men to support the TRAs as it does not effect them one iota.

 

[ozblackcat]

Well I've read thread #2 and found the link to the original thread but wanted to pop back to the present to explain how I got here... I'm in the Popsy clothing group and there were some rumblings and someone mentioned this thread. It's a fairly innocuous group with clothes being sold and people posting about their lives but there are 2 trans women who posted about being in a relationship and you'd think they had cured world hunger with the acclaim and love being given to them. One subsequently left the group, perhaps because there's a HPesque design and they obviously have an issue with this (screenshot of their post in the group and their anti JKR rant below) even though the company haven't acknowledged the inspiration so JKR won't get a penny.

The other person is still very active in the group (I haven't included any of their content here but can be seen on the Popsy thread) and having read up a bit I now think they are AGP, posting very regularly, very self centred and, sorry to be harsh, not female presenting other than wearing a dress, and yet getting love and support left right and centre on how great they look. They don't. Nobody is willing to say 'you have thinning hair, it looks terrible at the front and we can see your nipples in almost every photo. Sad really, be a man who wears a dress if you want, but don't say that makes you a woman

Honestly f*ck off with the “agenda out to kill my friends and I” and also the foot stamping “you must all stop buying Harry Potter because I SAID SO”

no one is trying to kill you in your toddler/unicorn dress. Trust me, no one wants to go that near you.

 

[DoraMaar]

I think Owen Jones accidentally tweeted his new bio ...

 

[DoraMaar]

I have to say, I thought Mulvaney would have have confessed to being a parody by now but it's been very lucrative for him. I still think he will at some point and then there'll be a lot of people looking rather silly.

 

[SkippyDoo]

The women who keep validating these men's fetishes are almost as bad as them. I put it down to ignorance on the whole. They think they're being kind and inclusive, and don't think any further than that. I bet most of them don't even realise that they are playing into a man's sexual fetish by validating them. It's sad how easily taken in some people are.

It’s a mixture of “be kind” with a side of “I’m a better ally than you.” I have had multiple (straight, married, although some will claim to be “queer”, whatever) women in HR or Diversity & Inclusion or whatever bowl up to me at some LGBTQ event or other and start going on about how they’ve heard lesbians don’t like trans women or want them in their spaces and what do I think about that blah blah blah. They clearly want me to say something “TERFy” so they can then educate me and also feel quite superior, after all they’ve been on a course, you know. I’m only a lesbian who has been out personally for twenty-five years and professionally the twenty years of my entire working career, but of course a heterosexual woman who has not lived that life and its challenges but who falls over himself to respect the identity of a middle-aged, middle class, midlife-experiencing man who identifies as female certain days a week, is morally superior to me in every way.

 

[Vanelope]

Adam Kay is a misogynistic piece of shit. I am so glad he is no longer on maternity wards terrorising women. He now has two daughters, god help them, they are going to need so much therapy after being taken from their mothers and given to a woman hating man like him.

He is going to be writing another book - parenting is hard isn’t it - and will get masses of money and probably changes in the law for parental leave for men only because women just have to deal with childcare and get on with it.

Narcissistic cunt I actually think he is evil. There was another doctor who used to do those songs with him. He is an anaesthesiologist and also had children. They should have been censured by the BMA for that song about disabled children.

 

[Metropolis]

In Scotland, it’s been ruled that women’s protections in law must now include males with GRCs. Beginning of the end for the recognition of biological women as a separate sex class.

Campaigners lose definition of 'woman' appeal bid - BBC News

For Women Scotland has lost its appeal against a judgement relating to gender balance on public boards.

www.bbc.com

 

[Funny_bunny]

If there’s two words I loathe at the moment it’s, “Be kind”. Basic being kind isn’t the issue. There’s no need for people to be nasty or hurt anyones feelings deliberately, but this isn’t what it means. It’s basically telling women to put up or shut up. Put their feelings and emotions second, usually to accommodate men and not upset them, however awful they are. It’s something that’s always struck me as weird. Men are portrayed as “big, tough, strong etc” yet women pander and mollycoddle them like little babies. I’ve never, ever felt less important than men, and I’m far from a confident person. I’m a terf and proud of it.

 

[Vanelope]

We are like the dark side of Tattle - I’m not complaining about that - I see more and more people coming here from other threads and seeing we aren’t all homophobic racists - will accept terf as I consider it realism.

honestly, if someone called me a transphobe in real life I think I would laugh, it’s a completely made up word that means nothing. This is not to say that the TRAs screaming at women is not terrifying, angry men directing their anger at a woman is always frightening because they can turn to violence so quickly.

 

[PryingPenny]

A few years ago my friend’s daughter struggled to find someone who would piece her nose as she was under 16!

A friend has been trying to find somewhere her teenager can get gel nails, nobody will do it under 16. Imagine allowing someone to take puberty blockers when they aren't even allowed to have their nails done

When I was about 13 there was social contagion in my girls school around self harming, to the extent a friend of mine brought a massive knife in to school. Young, susceptible, women have been influenced by others forever in how to deal with the awkwardness and discomfort of being in a changing body. It's sometimes the same with eating disorders, and often the worst thing to do is to talk about it en masse, as those who are struggling and finding life tough catch an idea which gives them an outlet for their pain too. I'm not minimising eating disorders or self harming, more suggesting that what we are seeing in young women being encouraged to transition is something we are promoting by talking about it so much without the acceptance it's a form of self harm

 

[Scotch Mist]

 

[Vanelope]

Third wave feminism convinced us we had it all. Sex work was empowering, be kind and include trans women, be a girl boss with two side hustles, make a million on onlyfans, freeze your eggs until later, hire a surrogate to keep your career and your figure. I’m not saying that we should go back to the fifties at all, but looking at that list did we not see it was unsustainable and also was it really what we wanted? or do all of those things in some way benefit men?

fourth wave feminism will be different. The only silver lining I see in this is it has forced some women to remember that we are stronger together and to try and fight for our collective rights. Every day more women see the problems with men in our spaces. It’s not hopeless.

 

[terfette]

Do I not fit your 'nice woman' image? - I am human and things get on my nerves, I'll try to smile more, would you like a sandwich?

I've apologised several times. I won't apologise again.

To the post about my being a feminist - I'm not one.

To the post about it being T and not LGB - you are wrong. There and many many LGB who fully support the T. How on earth do those who don't support it expect to be seen and separate at this stage?

To the post asking if only straight women who are allowed to vent - I think you'll find the LB pile on I've just received answered your question.

Just a thought before I head off.. Why do women, feel the need to silence other women so desperately?

I've seen more straight women propping up this ideology than I have LGB people. And the silencing of women - LGB and straight - has come from straight people in positions of power.

The majority of LGB support I've seen, was very obviously garnered by deception and becomes less and less every day as more see the truth. Whereas the straight women supporting it double down.

One thing I would like to point out is that most people do not know what an AGP is. They haven't experienced it. When you say transwoman to them, they picture a slightly built very camp gay man who has no sexual interest in women. Exactly as I once did until my ex turned out to be an AGP and my eyes were opened.

You are entitled to your views, they don't upset me personally, but do keep in mind that you don't know how powerful and insideous this cult really is. Nobody who knows me believed anyone would ever be able to make me question myself. But by the time I left, I was a shell. I walked around with my eyes on the floor because I believed everyone would think I was awful for leaving him. That was 3 and a half years ago. And I don't know if I'll ever be fully recovered. I spent a month in a psychiatric ward this year due to he self hatred I still feel, causing me to hit myself repeatedly in the face with the buckle end of a belt.